Yo, it’s ya boi, Kage back at ya with the good stuff!
If you’re like me, the above makes you cringe. Not only is it horrible and tacky, but it was dated the second it became trendy. Trends are shit! You think American’s would of learned post World War II with the 60’s, 70’s, 80’s and 90’s, but apparently you would be wrong.
My detestment of the butchering of the English language began in Middle School, because puberty breeds stupid, I guess and that’s when immature minds begin killing our language with nay a care in the world. Recall the phrase “Da Bomb” which was rubbish the second a moron uttered it for the first time. It’s an even worse phrase in a post 9/11 world.
Now, none of these would be overly horrible, if they stuck to the individual who coined them, but then other morons think they’re “Cool” and it becomes popular vernacular. Now, while our dictionary is filled with plenty of yesteryears slang and words that were once trendy, they stood the test of time for a reason, while words and phrases like “Da Bomb” and “Groovy” are executed from the gene pool of speech and for good reason. To be fair, the only time “Groovy” should be socially acceptable, is if you’re Bruce Campbell, fuck the others.
Yes, I am going to be arrogantly elitist here, because this trash is piffle and no one wants to stand up for the English language. Why? Because words like Bootylicious are in the dictionary and shouldn’t be, but because it’s popular vernacular, it’s considered acceptable.
There once was a time when ones speech showcased ones classification in society and while we’re probably never going to return to such, I do believe that one’s word choice should still be seen in such. If you’re using words like AF, WOKE, Ya Boi, you’re most likely poor, don’t read much, watch a tad bit too much youtube, only High School educated or if you went to college, you might also have a degree in something worthless, like gender studies and Narrastic Personality Disorder on top of that
These words are so pedestrian and defiantly unbecoming of anyone who wishes to be taken seriously, especially in regards to the English language. I know I am not alone in this criticism either. I would also love to mention that studies show, using proper grammar and punctuation, just make you look like an asshole. That right there is cause for concern, because it showcases the collective “intelligence” of the species. Also, did I mention that when you Google Twitter strategies, intentionally misspelling things is listed, why, because it makes you seem “Genuine.” That is another article for another time, though.
What really irks me the most, though, is that people think certain things are “envogue” and are only ok to use in a predestined time frame. While they might be apt in some cases, like the use of the word Negro going out of style or faggot towards homosexuals, it shouldn’t be for the rest of our language. Beautiful words like betwixt for between, which was used in 16th century or even using ergo in place of therefore, should still have its place and all words, within reason, should be considered evergreen, or never out of style. If there is one thing in this world that needed to be expunged, it’s trendy bastards.
This isn’t a rant on how all writing should look like Nobokov or Shakespeare, and too many large words will obfuscate the text and you won’t be able to communicate well with people less intelligent or not as well read as you. Still, the occasional extension of your lexicon isn’t a crime, nor should your speech have to be filled with “popular” language because the trendy troglodytes think it’s “normal.”
Now, with that in mind, let us go over my top ten words and phrases that need to die horrible deaths!
Yes, this is a legitimate fucking “word!” It is short for one hundred percent. Seriously, has the species become that dull that you need to shorten an already short enough statement? Oh sure, the argument could be made that we have always had contractions in English, like “Don’t” for Do not, or “Isn’t” for is not. Goodbye being a contraction of “God be with you” as well. Expect that argument doesn’t hold merit here, because it isn’t a contraction. It is the modern equalivant of ain’t. It also sounds queer as hell!
Damn, Daniel! DAMN, Daniel. DAMN DANIEL! Back at it with being monosyllabic again!
This is a contraction of Sup and Uh, which go together like lint and ice cream. Who the fuck decided we need these two to come together? If you ever wanted to sound like a caveman, this is the word for you! In fact, I wish I had more to trounce it for, but the word speaks for itself. Men who use this, probably moan during sex, while their girlfriend grunts!
OTP or One True Pairing.
Utilized by “grownups” who have emotionally invested in celebrity couples. Nothing says “Stan” quite like this word or being one of these morons. Why would you care? I mean, it’s great you can exhibit such empathy towards your fellow human, but these future stalkers of celebrities really need to get a life of their own.
Why yes, that is the same word as Yes, but with two S’ to signify emphasis, because the apostrophe just doesn’t cut the mustard.
This word is so inappropriate as a substitute for appropriate, it isn’t funny! Also, it is French, need I say more?
It’s ya boi!
Did you just presume your gender? Why the misspelling? Is boy too hard to write? Nothing makes a Youtuber sound more like an autistic trying to fit in then “It’s ya boi.” It’s made especially worse when white people use it. In fact, I’m shocked social justice warriors haven’t thrown a hissy fit over this being appropriation culture. While I’m on the topic as well, one would figure this would be some toxic masculinity bullshit, like, I don’t know, the word warrior itself. No one ever said SJW’s were a smart bunch.
I noticed that those who use these words, are often, the most bitter of fucks themselves. Besides, what’s wrong with being “salty?” These types grew up with everything being sugarcoated in their world and can’t handle the occasional bitterness exhibited by others. People aren’t peanuts!
Netflix and Chill
I had to Google this one years ago and found it to be dumb. What the fuck? Didn’t anyone ever read the stuff on human sexuality and a television in the bedroom? I’ve never had to use this and would never use it unironiclly. Why? Because I can GO OUT AND GET TANG!
Like the meme once pointed out “For those too stupid to know what Cape Diem means.
An old one, but one still occasionally used. It’s dull, uninspired and reminds me of a baby and other dumb-shit word used by couples to express their affection for one another. What to know what would be better? Maybe something a tad bit more unique! The only thing worse than this is things like Benifier.
There you have it, my top ten words and phrases that need to die a horrible death. Nothing fills me with more JOMO than opting out of using stupid words like JOMO and the ten above.