Category Archives: Non-fiction
Bernie Sanders is Hitler!
In order to understand what I am about to lay upon you, one has to have an understanding to how things were in the past. Ideology of old in the past, doesn’t mean it is currently seen the way it once was. Libertarianism, in the past, was once traditional conservatives. Oddly enough, in today’s epoch, it is now associated with Liberal ideology. Even more oddly, it is sadly becoming associated with the Alt-Right, which is absolute is not. In fact, the Alt-Right is closer to FDR New Deal liberals than they are to the traditional right and this is where we get into the gist of my essay, Bernie Sander’s is Hitler!
If you never read Mien Kampf, which you absolutely should have, if you want to consider yourself educated. Most of the book isn’t in any way, shape or form what one would consider an anti-Semitic rant. In fact, Mein Kampf is combination Biography, political manifesto and interjected opinion as opposed to a plan for the elimination of the Jewish people that it was always considered by the uneducated plebeians, that is the modern right and left. In reality, Mein Kampf is closer to your drunk lefty uncle Fred at Thanksgiving, ranting about the inadequacies of capitalism and why the rich are responsible for all the woes in the world. Sound familiar? It should, given that is Bernie Sander’s entire base and style. He’s sticking to basic structure of any leader, if you also bother to read the 48 Laws of Power!
The fact of the matter is, Hitler was an anti-capitalist, anti-communism, Boeheim artist, who traveled from place to place, never really doing much of anything and grew bitter and bitter by the day for finding no success. Being a product of his generation, and not as liberal as he claimed to be toward the Jews in Mien Kampf! In other words, Hitler was Jack Dawson in Titanic, who harbored hate towards most people, in fact, I would say Hitler was closer to being misanthropic than anti-Semitic, he ended up taking it out on the Jews for a number of reasons, some of which would include Anti-Semitic behavior was common in Germany seventy years ago, as with most nations. In fact, Jewish hated was very common in other ancient epochs as well. Some Jews actually were trying to install Communism in Germany, he reacted in order to stop it. There were some Jewish 1 percenters, to borrow a phrase from Sanders and Friends. Ultimately, Hitler saw himself as the hero an acted that way, he was Germany’s savior and nothing was going to stop his seemingly God given mandate to save Germany!
(As a quick digression, Hitler also seemingly had either a God Complex or Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Entitlement issues, typical human superiority issues, based on superficial, non-objective criteria. Among a plethora of other mental issues. None of which he shares with Bernie Sanders. Interestingly enough, Bernie seems to have no mental issues, which makes this parallel worse!)
Back to Bernie Sanders, both share a similar ideology and are very much old school, big government Democrats, pandering to the working class and working for you. Bernie was seemingly influenced to get into politics as serious study, because of Adolph Hitler himself, being quoted as saying, Because Hitler won an election that was way he took politics so seriously. Had he bothered to read and pay attention, he would know that Hitler never won an election. He lost and seized power. Also, he would know that, besides having old school leftist tendencies towards racism, Bernie and Hitler were ideologically one and the same, pandering to the same base (National Socialist Workers Party ring a bell?) with a similar style, neither one of which ever amounted to much, outside of politics and ultimately both Bitter and perpetual victims of a mean spirited, capitalistic system!
I personally believe, given the opportunity, Bernie would march the successful into death camps and redistribute their wealth in quite the same way. The leeches had always been around, looking to suck from the strong and those who dare attempt to make something of themselves in our society, and Bernie is leading the charge!
In conclusion, based on facts, Bernie is closer to Hitler than any candidate, past or present, including Donald Trump.
(Disclaimer, I begrudgingly voted for Barry Goldwater’s doppelganger Hilary Clinton, on the fact that she was, ironically, more conservative!)
The Art of Sextortion(NSFW)
If there is a lesson to be learned from any of what I am about to post, it’s this. If you’re going to extort someone, make sure it’s someone who cares and isn’t in the business of entertainment. If only I had shame, they might have been able to scare me, but atlas, I don’t. So here is a fun exchange from last night. This is 100% not safe for work.
So yesterday I get a friends request from some woman who I don’t know. They started the profile in 2012, pictures and everything. It seem legitimate, so I add her. I get multiple friends request throughout the month and am pretty good at weeding out fakes. Occasionally a legit profile gets denied from me, this case is the opposite, but because it’s funny, I am posting it here.
She PM’s me on Facebook later that and expresses interest in skyping. I have never skyped with anyone, so I figure fine, might as well give it a go. This chick isn’t bad looking, I’ve dealt with more attractive, but she seemed worth it. So below is the NSFW exchange between us and how I got a bot/human so annoyed during an extortion attempt that they blocked me.
Now, I suspect something off the whole time, as you can see. I believe in honesty at all times, but when it comes to dealing with a bot/criminal, fuck honesty. My phone was blacked out with ducktape the entire time, as you’ll see in the next exchange
.
We talk on Skype and she gets right to business. Below is the rest of the exchange, up til they block me. FYI, nothing like being extorted over a picture of my fist. lmfao!
Facebook has currently banned the individual without me reporting it, so he/she/bot shouldn’t do this anytime soon. And for the you good little monkey’s making it all the way through to the end of this, I present you with this: Click the pic , because I found the video the extortioner used.
Fiverr.com is Horrible!
I started multiple gigs on Fiverr.com that are similar to things already allowed on the website. My third gig, was denied for copyright infringement because some third party claimed to own the act of reviewing.
Here is my e-mail on the gig.
This all happened after already having approved it in the first place. So I write to them this:
So they wrote back with
They marked it as resolved on the wrong gig, which is still active. If they meant reviews were not allowed on the site, then why is this here
The difference between my gig and this? I offered honest and objective reviews because these people’s clients deserve honesty. Instead, I guess, Fiverr’s policy is that fraudulent reviews are marketable and mine are not, even though an alleged third company complained.
If I were you, I would stay away from this company!
Kage’s Amendments to the US Constitution.
Yes, I did rewrite the amendments to the constitution, thinking an updated version for a modern era was needed. Some are left intact and others altered as need be, but I also extrapolated onto them. Here they are!
Amendment I
Government, be it State, Federal or local shall pass no law in regards to prohibiting, limiting or otherwise abridging, the right to free speech of an individual or of the press. Nor shall they establish an official religion, or infringe on an individuals right to believe whatever bullshit they want, included but not limited to religion or lack thereof, unless said delusion is used a justification for harming another individual. You have the right to believe whatever you want, not the right to force or otherwise hurt others.
Amendment II
Self-defense, being integral to one’s personal survival, of themselves, family or other loved ones, the right to bare armaments, shall not be infringed.
Amendment III
A well-regulated militia, being necessary to a free state, shall be established by the government, to oversee the protection and general welfare of the people during times of war. No citizen shall be forced into the militia, even during times of war. No soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.
Amendment IV
The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.
Amendment V
No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a grand jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the militia, when in actual service in time of war or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.
Amendment VI
In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the state and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the assistance of counsel for his defense.
Amendment VII
In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise reexamined in any court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law.
Amendment VIII
Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.
Amendment IX
The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.
Amendment X
The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the states respectively, or to the people.
Amendment XI
The Government, be it Federal, State or local, shall pass no law in regards to a human beings, of anytime, impeding the sovereignty over their own body.
Amendment XII
The Government, be it Federal, State or Local, shall pass no law prohibiting nature of any kind, unless said nature would cause bodily harm to others.
Amendment XIII
A human being or individual, shall be defined as any sentient being that is of the species Homo-sapiens, or any other future genus that our species might evolve into, and not be discriminated against for sexual orientation, color of skin, religious or other bullshit reasons that one could cultivate in impinging human rights.
Amendment XIV
The Bill of Rights, being exactly what they are, shall not be considered established by the government, but rather seen as the natural rights of humans that they are and as such, the government shall never be able to take them away for any reason or otherwise restrict them!
Conception Begins at Rape
Just in Time to buy for the Republican Cacucas’ and the Presidential Race.
Use this classic GOP slogan and show your support!
http://www.cafepress.com/mf/103584097/gop-parody_tshirt?productId=1731459405
Mandatory Welfare
Here’s an idea that is sure to piss off the Republican Party;I am for mandatory welfare. It’s not for the liberal ideas that one would think. I simply want to keep certain people out of the general populace. Yes, keeping people away from others could be a huge benefit for society as a whole. I like to think of it as social segregation.
I cannot be the only person to ever walk into a store and hear the clerk bemoan the fact they have to work. I’m sorry that your life is so bad,plus you have to work. My heart bleeds so much for you! I’m not understanding to this, seriously, pushing a button is easy as hell and making a burger is even easier, when all you have to do is put the frozen carcinogenic slathered piece of “meat” under a heat lamp, which sits there for hours on end, until the unsuspecting costumer comes in and desires sustenance so badly, they will eat the food equivalent of an STD.
Besides the fact that work is super hard for them and life is clearly not worthwhile, there is also the fact that, well, they want 15 dollars an hour to do something much worse than I could do at home. I can burn my own overly antibiotic infused frozen “meat” patty myself and remember that I don’t want cheese on it. People make mistakes, it’s part of life, so I don’t let this part get to me too much, but damn if it doesn’t occur to me when listing off reasons for mandatory welfare.
When you factor in the above, you start to get an idea for why I’m right about this. I don’t really need more reasons, but you’re going to get them anyways! Allow me to now extrapolate onto the idea that is mandatory welfare.
Since work is so hard and you cannot be bothered to look at what you just wrote down on order pad or the screen, I am willing to work for you, just to keep you home, until either your disposition improves or you learn to shut up while working, whichever comes first.
You will make whatever the minimum wage is per year and it will be inflated to adjust for the cost of living, just please stay away from me and others. One of the buyer beware scenarios, when you sign up, you will be given a long term contract, five to ten years, that states that you cannot leave your house. You will be sterilized, fully or temporarily, to prevent breeding and you must Netflix and chill for the duration of the contract. It’s really that simple of a system, basically what we already have going, but improved for the benefit of humans who don’t mind getting things done.
Now, I can be understanding, since some costumers are pains in the ass, but the location is partially to blame for this. Starbucks for example has too many options. I’m sorry, I thought you wanted coffee, well coffee comes one of two ways, black and tanned. Want sugar, add it yourself. If you have to add twenty sugars to something to make it palpable to your taste, you don’t like the item you’re procuring, you like the sugar. Just eat sugar packets. Here’s an idea, caffeinated sugar. One packet has enough caffeine of an espresso. Snort it like cocaine for all I care, just make be honest that you secretly hate coffee, otherwise you would drink it as is. The second you add half a dozen toppings, it is no longer coffee, rather a desert as Bill Maher has pointed out many times in the past. 1,000 calories is not coffee! I’d rather down a six pack of beer for that many calories, at least it will give me enough of a buzz to make humans tolerable.
Besides the annual salary, just to leave myself and others alone, you will also be given an allotment of your drug of choice. Yes, you can have it as a signing bonus, once a month, you will get either the biggest bottle of whiskey, beer, bag of weed, bag of cocaine, heroin, whatever you wish, just to make sure you stay tranquil and indoors. You can live with your lover and if you cannot find one, we will help you, since you won’t be breeding anyways.
I am willing to work two 40 hour a week jobs, just to keep you away from myself and others who cannot stand listening to the rubbish that flies out of your claptrap on a daily basis. It would be a privilege and an honor to not have to be served by you.
Anything and everything will be provided for you, just so my mental health is kept healthy and I don’t descend into insanity.
You’re probably wondering how business’ will thrive without a lot of people shopping, well, there’s an app for everything now a days, so you can order food from most places, with your government provided iPhone.
This is something that the U.S. government needs to consider, because too many people are just stupid, lazy, bitter, jaded and otherwise not worth dealing with. I think you’ll find that life will generally improve for all involved, and mass shootings will actually be reduced. Granted, serial killers and the like will still exist, you cannot help that, but the 1% of murders that happen, is just nature’s way of cleaning the gene pool. So it is a necessary evil, like Richard Dawkins twitter account, or Donald J. Trump being a racist. You just have to deal with it.
Another name for this is trickle down happiness. Which you may have learned about watching a porn video. I promise you that this will make this planet a much safer, much saner and overall a much better place to live. In fact, I guarantee it! It’s the Oprah of systems, everybody gets something.
Another benefit of mandatory welfare? Better politicians and choices for president. Now I won’t have to listen to the talking heads on CNN, MSNBC, Fox News and half a dozen other “news” outlets opine about Emperor Palatine Vs Doc Brown being “saner” picks than Hilary Clinton vs Rand Paul. The only people saying this is unfair, are the idiots who would be locked up. The Paul Lepage, the John Boehner and Paul Ryans of the world.
Heck, most of these jobs are practically welfare anyways. Why make the price of Big Mac go up, when we can just rid the world of the problem which is Bitter, overly entitled workers, who would rather not be there to begin with.
Early adopters of the program will get healthcare paid for, as well, just to get you away from me faster! No need for a Bernie Sander’s presidency when we can fix the system.
Mandatory welfare is going to be a thing and the best part, no more hipsters, working in Che Guevara hoodies. Is that not what life is truly about?
—————————————–
Major Corrections to the text. ( 23 Nov. 2015)
The Luchagors:Review
I’m going to stay away from what I did in my last musical review, which, as you may recall linked past to present career paths, and instead look at this from a perspective of a band as if I just found them. I think going this away removes a past bias for the performer in one aspect of their life and creates a far more objective outlook at the present. Although I guess I’m wicked late to reviewing this, though.
So this is the debut album for a band called The Luchagors. Which, according to the internets is wordplay combination, Lucha Libre and Horror flicks. Right up my alley, as I greatly enjoy both. I haven’t had the chance to see them live, so it is just for the album which you can easily find on Itunes or Amazon.
The band consist of members: Amy Dumas (Lead vocals), Shane Morton (Guitar and vocals), Jay Hedberg (Bass and vocals.), Racci Shay (Drummer). The latter apparently replaced Troy King on drums.
Right from the first song titled White Boy, the songs are catchy, fast paced, angst filled with all the good stuff punk music is known for. The theme through most of the lyrics seem consistent through several songs, which are that of a woman scorned. An indictment on an unknown person, most likely an ex, whom seems like a little bitch and a going through the motions of regaining independence of her life and eventually resulting in self-fulfillment of a brighter future.
Granted that could just be a hell of a lot of inference on absolutely nothing, but you can view the lyrics and judge for yourself.
The vocals are strong, the music crisp, and the lyrical content is interesting, even if it is somewhat banal for lyrical content. Originality can be overrated, though. You can pick up on many of the bands influences if you know about enough about punk rock. I managed to note and find The Misfits influence and I’m sure many more experienced punk rock listeners will find more.
The run time is over a half hour long, so you won’t spend too much time having to sit down and really and give much thought to it. Given the edgy sound and style, it still manages to be fun. Which is more than I can say about most edgy bands. Usually they’re dark and brooding. Like back before vampires were twinks who sparkled. I digress and… seriously, fuckin’ sparkle? Never mind.
If you want something you could speed through, say, shopping or at the gym, this is an interesting and excellent choice. Pick up a copy and you can finally stick it to your hipster friend about how you found and like a new band, but they probably never heard of them. That alone would be worth picking up this gem from 2007, never mind actually enjoying it. Enjoying it would just be a bonus. You could spend $9.99 on far worse, like say, 50 Shades of Grey, or you could listen to something that is at least 25 shades of enjoyable.
This album gets the 
Kickstart my Heart.
It is that time of year, when men everywhere forget to make plans for that romantic getaway, woman weep because they’re single and I can buy a large box of chocolates for $45.00 that only comes with one piece of candy that I like and about 35 pieces that I do not like, which taste no better than a common candy bar at the store. Yes, the Christmas. Er, Valentine’s day is here again.
I’m not opposed to love, If you manage to find love, fantastic! My main concern is wondering why we need a stationary day to express our appreciation for the person that we’re in love with. Call me crazy, but if you’re in love, finding a day to express appreciation for your significant other should be the easiest thing in the world. Why could you show love for them just as much on August the 15th as you could on February the 14th? The boot to the economy, that is why, plus snow. Fuck you, snow!
Going outside seems to be a wicked pissah for anything that isn’t going to work or something else that isn’t obligatory in the winter time, but it can be just as fun as any and without the bullshit of macro holidays that have little meaning.
Which brings me to my next gripe with Valentine’s Day. When everyone is doing it at the same time, doesn’t it lack any semblance of being a special day? There is no surprise factor. Much like a flu shot for the millionth year in a row, it is mundane and routine. I think Valentine’s Day should be randomly assigned to a specific day each year, so that it is slightly more interesting. So starting with 2016, that special day could just as easily be the 25th of May as it is the 14th of February. Watching people scramble only two weeks ahead of time lends to Valentine’s Day the same excitement as a football game or a car chase.
This single handily increases the worth of the day tenfold, which is great, because the other reason for finding this holiday to be a pissah is walking down the street and seeing all those single zombies slushing by with a grocery bag filled with Häagen-Dazs ice cream to cry and slowly feed themselves to death over the fact they don’t feel worthy of love. That is just the men that I’m talking about, never mind the woman who keep tissues at hand more readily than a teenage boy and feel much worse and drives them to watch movies like Fifty Shades of Grey.
Speaking of bad decisions, while I’m at it, Valentine’s Day should be put on the schedule list of drugs. “Scientifically” speaking, Valentine’s Day, much like cocaine or heroin, often leads to bad decisions and not just the hideously awesome sweaters that you’ll wear once a year, but choices made out of desperation, just to not be alone when everyone else has someone. Like using dating profiles or worse, binge watching romantic comedies on Netflix. What other worse decisions could possibly be made than watching Four Christmas’ two months after the fact? Come on government, these atrocities need to be prevented, because no American deserves to be tortured by Vince Vaughn’s “acting.” It is inhumane and cruel and unusual punishment on both the psyche and the body, all because someone is single?
If Valentine’s Day has taught us anything, thought, it is that people need someone validating their “love” like it is a parking garage ticket, which is a shame, because true love should need no affirmation from anyone other than the two people involved.
The best way to express your feelings for a person isn’t with an expensive hotel room or hundred dollar box of chocolate that comes with a wicked awesome 10ft teddy bear–which in no way have I bought for myself, ever!—but with a simple kiss of appreciation for what your partner brings to the table on any day of the year and not just once. Simple expressions throughout the year make for a lot more than once a year when you try to compete with the world to show people how in love you are. Much like a closeted homosexual, it is obvious to everyone that isn’t you that you aren’t in love.
Oh well, at least the 15th of February rocks, because 50% off Valentine’s Day candy is the shit!
(Minor corrections on 15 FEB 2015)
Best in Your Girl Podcast 1.0
http://bestinyourgirl.podomatic.com/swf/joe_multiplayer_v112.swf
Transcript 1.0
—————-
Hello and welcome to my very first podcast, the first ever best in your girl podcast. You come for the Kage and stay for the awesome and let’s be honest, who doesn’t come for Kage?
You’re not getting a catchy hook, meant to lure you into the show, at least not yet. In other words, music wasn’t needed to get you to give this format a chance and I’m pleased to have you listening. In the future, we might need to add something catchy to listen to, but for now, we are music non grata.
So let me get right into the podcast and that is about one thing, an extremely interesting night I had back in May of this year.
Yes kids, we’re going back to the past for something that I think, was really hilarious. Hell, if you don’t think this is funny, you might not have a pulse, because it is without a doubt the worst sexual encounter in the history of sexual encounters and then I want to make mention to another topic, which I think you’ll be interesting. If you recall, I wrote an essay called the cult of personality and this is an extrapolation to those thoughts, so without future ado, here…we…go!
One night, I was alerted to a message on a website, Plenty of Fish. It’s a dating website and like most dating websites, it’s not very good and doesn’t have a lot of option. It’s free, for the most part, so we get what we pay for. I didn’t message her first, she messaged me. Great start to a mediocre night.
I replied and we got the ball rolling. Now, what was said was mundane and uninteresting, but it is irrelevant to the story.
The point was reading between the lines and boy did I. She was very interested in sex. She didn’t say that, exactly, but I tend to read between the lines because fuck me, I’m arrogant like that.
Yes, this arrogant son of a bitch is read between the lines, because that’s what you do when you want to enjoy the end means, which is sex.
Now, I play back and forth, maybe, nah, fine I guess I can come over. So I make a short trek to the other side of town and find her waiting upon her porch.
I ascend the stairs to the third floor and greet her. She seems optimistic enough and we “enjoy” some alright conversation.
Meanwhile, inside, I’m awaiting for a family member of hers to leave for the night and so see her boyfriend, presumably to do the same exact thing that I was hoping to do, which is sexy times.
Now, once we’re inside, finally, I’m still waiting for this young woman to leave and give us our space. It was about midnight when I left and three a.m. by the time I got space. So, naturally, I’m tired and not in the mood to be sauve so I say fuck it, and just blurt out, want to fuck?
Yes, she does. Great, let us adjourn to the bedroom so as to better express our carnality and enjoy the debauchery. I don’t say this, because I want the sex and sex isn’t literature, so fuck it, we’re doing it live!
kissing is awkward. I mean, George Takei in Star Trek, kissing the beautiful Nichelle Nichols. (Quick digression, why does Microsoft word say I misspelled Nichelle Nichols’ name wrong when it’s right, but knows I misspelled George Takei’s last name wrong?)
I get her on the bed, pants off and have a go orally. A few minutes of this and that. I ask her if she want to suck my dick and in her best John Waters impersonation “yeeeesssss.” I like her enthusiasm. Good god, is this the worst head imaginable. My dick isn’t a carrot, please do not scrape it with teeth. I’ve had so much better. So then I’m like, let’s just skip to fucking and so we do. This sex sucked so bad, you would have sworn we were virgins. We had the sexual chemistry of a dial up connection.
I plunged into her with my engorged phallus and proceed to promptly ask the question no man wants to hear a woman ask, and is even worse when he has to ask it himself, am I in yet? Yes, I had to ask that. The plus side, at least I got her to try anal and she never would, so hey, go it wasn’t all bad for me. Who am I fucking kidding, yes, yes it was.At one point, I had to say fuck it and have her on top. She does her thing for a few seconds and next thing I know, she’s off of me. Having the worse night of my life, I become a fuckin’ cliché and ask, did you? Big smile, yes. She looks me in the eye and says, did you. I pause, and answer, no.
I thought woman looked bored when their husbands thrust away and not notice the dull look in their eye and here I am with the opposite problem; a very wet and into it woman with a guy who is board as fuck!
So Kage ended the night because the condom came off and I didn’t bring back ups. Which I’m glad, because it would have been boring until 6 in the morn. Needless to say, I had to finish myself off. Could have stayed home, but nope.
Now there is one thing about this story that I didn’t mention in the beginning and it’s here now to segway into the next topic.
If you have two thousand or so fans, do you count as a celebrity? If you read cult of personality, you now the very definition of celebrity is celebrated, thus even with a rather paltry amount of fans, she must count, right?
So if anyone out there listing has a celebrity fantasy, I don’t want to burst your bubble, but if you’ve built it up over the years, you are most likely in for a rude awakening.Seriously, do not have pre-conceived notions about anyone you desire to fuck. Have a fantasy about anyone is healthy and fine. You’re not weird and it happens to most people, usually when you’re younger. Occasionally older, but its fine.
Brings me to the next part, which is, of course, how you might find yourself in such a predicament. Now, this isn’t my first rodeo, but this is probably the first time I failed backwards into banging a person with fans. That sounds right, because celebrity should be reserved for someone who has a wider following. It’s the difference between cult following and summer blockbuster. This was the Rocky Horror Picture Show of sex. In other words, It was great when it all began, but ended with a floor show.
Now, for those of you who are awesomely challenged, let me tell you something, I’m a nerd par excellence. The fact I know what that last sentence means, gives me the credibility to refer to myself as such.
Look at how verbose my writing is. If that isn’t nerdy, I don’t know what is, but let us be honest, nerd or not, few are as awesome as I am.
If you’re listening, you are either as awesome as I am or you want to be.
Now back to the topic at hand, I desire to express you to the following, which is that anyone and I do mean anyone, can have sex with anyone they desire. Yes, even you. I see your mid-90’s Chicago Bulls jersey and much like the bulls you haven’t had a championship in years. Prepare yourself, because you just might find yourself back in the playoffs, unlike the bulls.
There is no simple pill that you can take to become awesome, all it takes is a dose of testicular fortitude. That’s right, to borrow from Sarge in the Gears of War series, nut the hell up, son!
That is it, really, just grow a pair. Nothing to it. Now, if you want to bang a “celebrity.” Well, same applies. Seriously, that’s it. They’re people too and that is something that needs to be made clear.
I don’t think I need to mention that persistence is probably not best for business when pursuing this personal endeavor. Remember kids, its persistence when you’re famous and stalking when you’re not.
Should you find yourself, say, were a seemingly innocuous meet cute might happen to arise, then why not? you really have nothing to lose, other than the perhaps the desire to ever fondle a “celebrity” again.
You should, of course, treat everyone you come across with some basic human respect. In other words, your end game probably shouldn’t be a routine fuck and chuck. Make it seem less conspicuous. Unless you’re dealing with a rock star, than fuck it and rock out with your cock or pussy out.
There is really nothing preventing you from them, other than perhaps a restraining order for your “persistence.” The librarian down the street can get one of those as well, though. So you really don’t have an excuse, just do not be a dick.
If you recall, I made mention that idolization of anyone is a really, really dumb prospect. I think, as the doc has always said, that if you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything. I really believe this and that’s why I’m making this my first topic. My sex life is like Kevin Smith’s film career, if I can do it, anyone can. Plus it’s life, that’s kind of what happens, you fail upwards.
Just a few tips to keep in mind, should you be ballsy enough to go take a shot from the half court line with less than a minute on the clock in the final four.
1. Be polite. This isn’t redundant. It’s basic edict for all human beings.
2. Introductions. Not everyone is known by everyone. Even if you know them, odds are, someone might not.
3. Act or actually be interested in them. Everyone’s favorite topic is themselves, but do not be too interested that you downplay yourself. In other words, don’t be a fanboy or girl.
4. Maintain eye contact and exude confidence.
5. When in doubt, treat them as you would a friend.
This is good advice for dealing with anyone. You could attempt to be cocky, but save it for the pros.
So until next time, remember that life is just a ride and we can change it, anytime we want to.
In Defense of Pornography
A question about porn has recently arisen from the ashes of my mind, like a phoenix taking flight and I cannot shake the idea from my mind and need to discuss it.
The question in mind deals with the mind and pornography and how we has a society have come to view it. Porn is shot in High Definition now a day, and very realistic. In fact, porn is shot closer to home movies that you might share with loved one, from vacations to children’s birthday parties, but one has to wonder if that is the biggest problem with porn that society has, over the fact that pornography actually exist.
Does porn interact with our minds differently than movies do? If you don’t know a thing about movies, they are traditionally shot on film in 24fps (Frames per second) and it gives the movies a dream like quality to them, as it is often described as.
Pornography hasn’t been shot on film since sometime in the 1970’s, most likely. If you have seen pornography from the 1980’s you’ll notice a change in style and a much more modern look to it, in comparison to the porn of the previous eras. In fact, pornography was often viewed in theaters much like its cinematic counterparts.
Some people, have drawn and in my opinion, false correlations between pornography and IQ. Dr. Kanawanza mentions such in his book The Intelligence Paradox.
If pornography is interacting with our minds in a much more realistic way than it has in the past, could it be to blame for having impacts on sex lives?
I find it doubtful that shooting a pornographic film in 24fps has any less of an impact on the mind than would shooting in a much more realistic format as 32fps. In fact, some studies have concluded, in recent times, that porn probably isn’t that bad for you at all.
Yet if there really is a problem with pornography, were would it stem from? Yes, porno creates unrealistic situations that would never happen in real life. If you bang the nineteen year old cheerleader at the door, she probably wasn’t outside awaiting to have you ravage her like they do in the films. Most likely selling something or is lost and needs directions.
Yet all porno is somewhat grounded in realism, since every time you interact with a member of the opposite sex, you could find yourself going back to their place for a shag.
Is it the acts that seem far outside of “normal” that could be impacting people? I think the creativity in sexual acts is also a farfetched idea, since one article suggest that film can actually make one feel empathic towards characters.
This brings me back to my point, since the article says film, which again is in 24fps, giving a dream like quality over the realistic nature of 1080p HD.
If pornography is the reason for some ills in the world, I highly I would like to know the answer as to why? Science has given us plenty of evidence as to why it isn’t corrupting our soul and turning our children into sexual fiends.
If the impact of pornography on our psyches is caused by anything, I’m willing to bet it’s the format in which it was shot in, over the content of the actual film.
Albeit, film has never prevented psychopaths from being destructive towards others. The shootings in Denver are a clear indication of a movie being scapegoated as the catalyst for such insanity.
So, given a breakdown of format that is used to create such films, what other possible argument for pornography being the scourge of humanity be?
I cannot think of one, but I know for sure that it isn’t the fact that anyone can view it, the content of the film or even the format.
Since these are the only possible arguments as to why people could consider such movies abhorrent in our society, I find the idea that pornography as an “Evil” is fatuous at best and a waste of tax dollars to find a correlation between murders, rape and destruction. I love science and anytime scientist get to do their thing, I’m for it, even when the hypothesis is batshit crazy, but some things in life should be blatantly fucking obvious.
I’m one of those guys who loves to have as much evidence to back up my claims as anyone, but that leads to a need to be very selective in what I ultimately put my time into. This is the problem that I’m running into. Simple arguments pretty much show that pornography cannot do much to decay the very fabric of society. Yet, what could the reason be?
The more we look at pornography from a logical perspective, the more rational pornography seems to be. It makes sense that people might turn to pornography for a whole plethora of reasons. Not the least of which is for ideas on how to rape. Rape is, has and always will be very straight forward. It is the use of corrosion, force or other means in getting “sex” from another person.
How would the details of the rape have prevented it from happening? Some people are raped in the most brutal of ways, true and while influence in society from outside stimuli can and does happen, I don’t see it as deep enough to be alarming and having people desire to go on a witch-hunt within the pornography industry.
Does some porn go too far in denigrating woman? Maybe, but that is up to the viewer to decide and not others. Remember, the hurdles that need to be jumped to be a woman in porn nowadays is far greater than in the past and they are subject to greater scrutiny. In other words, 99% of all acts seen and porn are defiantly consensual and while the 1% of the acts could justifiably be traced to possible forcing of someone into the industry, it happens more than not within the amateur realm of pornography than the pro.
Pornography is a lot of things, but evil will never be one of them and I think that this will hold true as people continue to study pornography in greater and greater samples into the future and beyond. Quite possibly, the only better industry to be in now a day is the study of pornography as opposed to being in pornography, but that is another topic for another day.
