Category Archives: Reviews

Fiverr.com is Horrible!

I started multiple gigs on Fiverr.com that are similar to things already allowed on the website. My third gig, was denied for copyright infringement because some third party claimed to own the act of reviewing.

mortal_kombat_logo-svg

Here is my e-mail on the gig.

Fiversucks2.jpg

This all happened after already having approved it in the first place. So I write to them this:

krspenwah

So they wrote back with

krspenwah

They marked it as resolved on the wrong gig, which is still active. If they meant reviews were not allowed on the site, then why is this here

krspenwah

 

The difference between my gig and this? I offered honest and objective reviews because these people’s clients deserve honesty. Instead, I guess, Fiverr’s policy is that fraudulent reviews are marketable and mine are not, even though an alleged third company complained.

If I were you, I would stay away from this company!

Dickoloden

While I do not intend on necessarily using this name as a finished project, the other title is “Stickaloadein” or Stick a Lode In. I thought this might make for an interesting idea to converse about.

So essentially this is a fun project that will be one of many parodies and one I think has a market for. The 90’s have been making a huge cum back and now we can re-imagine our favorite old shows, but with a XXX bent.

This will be a DVD project, as opposed to multiple stand alone parodies, because I think that one of the many issues of porn parodies is that they are often too long and have a lot of filler that is just not needed for you to enjoy.

For instance of Klarrisa Does it all parody. No one wants to see Ferguson banging anyone. It’s Sam & Klarrisa that everyone wanted to see bang, from the second that ladder hit her window. Let’s be honest, Ferguson would of been outside his sister’s window, jacking his tiny penis and moaning Donald Trump’s name.

I plan on finding and paying performers who have never done porn before, as opposed to hiring traditional artist. The high number reflects the fact that I desire to actually make this seem as close to the originals, right down to set design as I can without going over budget.

Given the fact there have been tons of parodies out their, coupled with the nostalgia for the 1990’s, this seems like an idea ripe for the picking.

What do you think of the idea?

Please feel free to comment and suggest things about the Indiegogo campaign.

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/dickoloden–2/x/13473227#/

Best in Your Girl: The Novel.

Chapter One

     The glass on the den windows vibrated from the strong winds pounding against it with an intensity reminiscent of a starship pulling out of warp speed and just barely colliding with an asteroid A powerful thud, but unscathed.

     I reached out and grabbed the large black remote from the coffee table turned on the television, pushing my way through boring show, after boring show, until I came upon the weather channel, which was still far better than whatever sitcom was popular. I muttered to myself, then allowed the meteorologist his say. His voice was thick and masculine, like a Russian who could speak English with the precision of a native. “Looks like you’re getting 18’ massive inches of snow, with gale force winds coming in off the oceans within the next hour.”

     I moved towards the window and stared into the black abyss that was the night, watching as the sky spurted little flakes of white snow, which slowly drifted downward and accumulated upon the window sill of my den. Chills ran up my back as Goosebumps were aroused on my forearms, sending me to the other side of the house to grab myself a towel, in order to clean up the snow that would most likely force itself through the tight window opening, without mercy, ravaging the beautiful hard wood floors with unsightly bumps and buckles, unless someone made sure to use the proper protective barrier to prevent such.

     Only a few moments had passed when a huge dong sprang forth from the living room, cutting through the tension of the night, saving me from the hardcore debauchery of loneliness that pillaged the inside of my mind, driving me to the brink of madness and all without the radiance of Edgar Allen Poe’s elegant prose to make the lingering pain of despairs engorged embrace upon my soul even more burdensome.

     Moving over towards the fireplace, I snatched the whiskey off the mantel, removed the cap and brought the long, glass handle to my mouth, allowing the sweet ambrosia to fill my mouth and swallowed a swing in one massive gulp. My face slowly grew flushed as my capillaries burst, giving forth the slow rise to comfort and the illusion of warmth, which became displaced by the wetness of my pants, nestling itself right between my legs, making my pajama bottoms cling to my inner thigh. I hadn’t noticed the sticky liquid that had been spilled upon my pants when I grabbed the towel from the bathroom. I was too buzzed from the whiskey to be even mildly annoyed by the inconvenient spillage. I curled my lip and undid my bathrobe as I approached the bookcase and pulled down on the book, opening up the doorway to the spiral staircase that descended into the depths of depravity that was my underground lair.

     I pushed through the spiral doorway into a room dimly lit rectangular room, which would have been all but an inkwell of darkness if not for the small amount of lighting, which expressed itself through six, square-shaped windows in the ceiling above, allowing the silken gold light to rain down and envelop the bed in its warm, passionate embrace, as if a beacon had descended from the heavens, carving a path to the siren that was my bed and enveloping it in a warm and passionate embrace, which would surely be the demise of my night if I was to succumb to the temptations which it proffered.

     Lights on, I command with the same “swagger” Ali Baba must have wielded outside the den of thieves an eon earlier. The lights turned on slowly, like a strike to the match that would fully engulf the head with a flame, hypnotically dancing in the dark. A large black book lay on the bedside table, which, was insipidity titled little black book. I sunk down into the bed as I sat upon it and opened up the book containing head shots of woman who I had met over the years, each one with name and number beside them, three hole punched for easy flipping through the binder and all labeled according to hair color, age, body type, sexual predilections and more. I flipped through pages upon pages of woman from which I had my pick, depending on my mood and desires, stopping on the last page of the book.

     Her name was Christine Hernandez, She was a new addition, older and shorter than myself, with beautiful eyes that were gateways into her soul. The hues would change color and intensity based on her mood. One look could take you on an adventure and the next would destroy you where you stood. The same could be said of her hair, fiery red when she was temperamental and blue when she was sad. She couldn’t hide the nature of how she felt even if she tried, because they were as much a part of her as the blood in her veins. Connected as one, yet separate entities. One look at her and I was instantly hypnotized by how she seemed to transcend her humanity and yet was completely held down to earth at the same time. She was her own yin and yang and quite frankly, it drove me crazy with delight.

     Carefully, I removed the head shot from the top loader and grabbed the number on the back and dialed it into the phone. Pressing send, I watched as the seconds ticked up and the sound of the tone echoed in my ear, then a click, followed by a sultry voice on the other end and with a simple hello, I was reduced to rubble.

Degrassi: The NXT Generation.

      I never shy away from expressing a love for things that I greatly enjoy and for the last 26 years of my life, one of the many things I have enjoyed greatly is professional wrestling.

     When I was younger, I spent the majority of time exclusively watch the World Wrestling Federation, which is now and from here on out within this text, World Wrestling Entertainment or WWE. WCW did absolutely nothing for me and I did get to give TNA a go as a teenager, which came off as nothing but a WWE clone. I sadly never got to watch E-C-W in the original run of the show, but have since seen enough of it to know that I absolutely would have loved it. I still cannot bring myself to sit through WCW.

     Sadly, the last thirteen years of the 26 watching pro-wrestling had been filled with more misses than hits. It seems as if WWE has become more of a WCW clone than it had been in the past. I didn’t desire to watch WCW in its original run, never mind a weaker version of it. Yes, note that I said a weaker version of it.

     Fast forward to 2015 and I’ve had the privilege to enjoy watching NXT, which seems like an entirely different organization entirely. Yes, it is still WWE, but nothing like the current Raw or Smackdown shows. It is without a doubt the enema that pro wrestling has badly needed for over a decade and yet it is still owned by the same company.

     The overall enjoyment one gets from the televised taping of the show makes paying a monthly network fee seem like privilege rather than a chore.

     It seemly is following in the footsteps of a former company that did the same for its generation that also had three letters associated with it. I am, of course, talking about E-C-W. It is exactly that, but without the baggage of being extreme all the time. Which, when 99% of your matches are hardcore based, where would one have gone, short of live executions on television.

     The roster is deep with a talent pool filled of interesting and unique characters with gimmicks that seem to be better crafted, rather than intelligent insulting as WWE has been known to be in the past.

     The matches are longer, more exciting, and driven by an unknown force that keeps you riveted until the very end. It has gotten to a point that I do not watch Smackdown or Raw in favor of this show and while I wish I could say I get to watch it often, I haven’t had the chance to watch everything this brand has to offer, but it lacks the predictably of the main shows and favors wrestling over long, drawn out storylines that build up to nothing more than a filler mid-card match at the next Pay-Per-View.

     The woman’s division is outstanding and slowly eradicating the bias of many fans who for years have held out that woman cannot wrestle. You’ll never win anyone over, but I could not remember a time period were woman’s wrestling was an exciting and something to look forward to without the use of HLA (Hot Lesbian Action.) or being second fiddle to their boyfriends.

     The men’s division of NXT offers a mix of electic individuals that almost all seemingly work well together. The bad matches are few and far between and if you think any of them are hype, than I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news, because quite frankly, you’ll soon find yourself on the verge of a meltdown from a misjudging. I’ve made those, few and far between, so keep watching.

     It is at a point that all of these kids should be on the main roster as soon as possible to give Raw and Smackdown a reason to keep the loyal fan base tuning in.

     The genius behind this isn’t Vince McMahon or even the Pro Wrestling Messiah that is Paul Heyman, but none other than the King of King’s Triple H.

     I seemingly recall that many years ago, it was stated that if HHH had any control over the company it would be all about him, twenty four hours a day. Yet, all these years later, such a fear it is unfounded. I digress, but it should be noted to give credit where it is due.

     Maybe we should give him a chance to run the flagship brand for a couple of months as the level of the shows might vastly improve and be worth watching, much like when Heyman was operating Smackdown for a while.

     TNA should buy a network subscription and start ripping off NXT for ideas in the same way they rip off WWE’s core product. They might find there show improving. The smart bet would be to court NXT’s talent pool over main roster releases or legends as well.

     Within the next ten years, NXT is going to be THE brand to be watching and enjoying as it is going places and the road to glory is paved with gold.

     My only desire would be to see NXT ditch tapings and go full on live. At this point, it is the best reason to buy into the WWE Network, but is sadly overlooked when Daniel Bryan isn’t main eventing twenty four hours a day. Maybe it is time the Yes movement made its way back to NXT to give itself and the show the boost it desperately needs to catapult it well into the next frontier of WWE’s premiere entertainment and what would be better than a power struggle from within of HHH stealing Vince’s guys and gals and giving them the proper pushes and screen time they all deserve?

     It is the invasion angle we all would have loved when WWE brought up WCW back in 2001. It is the show that would of made a far better brand to be drafted to, as opposed to being a B+ player on a second rate show that, if it wasn’t for the last 15 years of buildup, would of probably had been ditched like a Shotgun Saturday night or Stevie(Sunday) Night Heat.

     If you are not a fan of pro wrestling, this brand could easily make one of you and if not, you are might be insane or worse, a fundy duddy, because this show kicks ass.

     Buy the network or find it on the local TV listings, because you will not be disappointed by giving this a watch.

     Five out of Five stars.

Do You Want to Start a War?

     I’ve never been one to review music. To me, it’s one of the hardest things to do and do well and I’m just not that educated when it comes to music. I have some rudimentary skills at the guitar, but I never was musically oriented as a child. So I’ve severally lacking in the ability to put into words what I’m hearing.

     So here goes my first attempt ever to discuss a brand new record. Yes, record, because I bought the vinyl and am listening to the free auto-rip from Amazon.com and so far, I dig what I hear and want to share it.

     Chris Jericho, pro wrestler par excellence and also, apparently, quite the vocalist. Although, not all credit can lie with Chris (Moongoose McQueen, if you prefer.) as his band mates might also be some of the best musicians of the last decade. I’ve known about the band for the last fifteen years, but sadly have never had the chance to sit down and listen to his music. You know him as the rock star of the ring, but the grandiose entrances doesn’t mean the ability to actually be a rock star.

     One would be wrong to not give the band a listen as they might possibly be the finest band in the last fifteen years. A long list of bands have come into the metal scene, but few have had an impact on the musical landscape that Fozzy is seeing and will continue to have well into the future.

     If you’re a rock fan or a metal fan than you are doing yourself a disservice by not buying this record on every format available, it’s that good. If you’re a fan of metal from the 1980’s, then you’re in for a real treat, because it’s been about 30 years since a band has pump out arena hits like this.

     If you aren’t hooked by the ABBA cover SOS, than you have no pulse. If you aren’t having fun by the end of Tonight, you’re DOA and if you cannot enjoy the heavy sounds of Bad Tattoo, you’re six feet under.

     I barley ever give five stars as a rating and this might be only the third time in my life that I’ve done so, because I’m not an easy sell, but five out of five.

——
Minor corrections made.

Added link for Item. Click the band’s Name.

Epic Jalapenos Poppers

     So, I wish I could take credit for these, because they were awesome, but I cannot. My sister made these and I’m sharing them right here.

     Epic Jalapenos Poppers (Yields as many as you can make.)

     1. Take Jalapenos and slice top down. Making wedge shaped halves.

     2. In bowl, mix Cream Cheese and a sprinkle cheese(Your choice.)

     3. Wrap the Jalapenos in Pillsbury Croissant dough

     4. Deep fry until golden brown and soft.

     Enjoy.

Mono Black Control Pt.2

Mono Black Control (Fall 2014)

     Here is a new deck list that I’ve been testing. I bought a few cards that I said I was going to put into the original version. It now has Silence the Believers, which replaced Guild. I’m thinking it might need a third, most likely not a fourth. If Super friends becomes a thing, I’m seeing myself wanting to go into a green splash for Garruk,Apex Predator.

     Right now, the deck is solid, but it’s in the process of final tweaking right now. It’s primarily set to go against aggro and will possibly be better post rotation, but it’s working fine at the present moment, just keep in mind you’re at a slight disadvantage and play it impeccably well.

     The sideboard is filled with goodies for control decks. Crypt to prevent U/W and Esper Control from shuffling at the present with Elixir of Immortality and Stain the Mind to remove win conditions. I anticipate that with the rotation of AEtherling, it’s potency is apt to go down.

     Once I’ve finished and have the final numbers set for the deck, I’ll post a third part with deeper analysis for play.

     People are encouraged to give it a go and post their findings in the comments below.

http://www.raventest.net/

IQ

      I’ve had reason to suspect this website was a fraud for a while and I decided that I cannot allow such to go unnoticed, thus, I bit the bullet and rest assured, I got my evidence. Finally, I’ll be able to do something about it. I want everyone to read this and know to protect themselves.

       Here is screen capped evidence that such is meant to only take your money. You have to remember somethings about websites and buys:

       1. You cannot go by the look of a site. It can look like complete shit and be gold, but it could also be nice and a scam. Here we have the low scale look and the high-scale scam.

       2. Anyone can obviously put a fake “Verified” sign on

       3. When in doubt, look around the net. Nothing is better than personal reviews and as I said, I want to protect people from being screwed over. Here now, I present the evidence. Sure as such, my I.Q. is 25 for having to buy into this to protect people from such horrible websites. Notice how the thing is full of contradictions? How can one be successful in life, but still be mentally challenged? At the very least, it implies I’ll be as famous as Paris Hilton, but I’d rather not.

      So if you come across this site, stay away. I’ve done the work, so you do not have to and now you know the truth.

       I advise looking for a brick and motor type of place, so to speak, in order to find the best I.Q. test available. Not that you’ll need one, but since I like to challenge myself and attempt these things, occasionally, to find holes within them, I did this one.

1/2 Star out of 5.

      Be on the look out for this e-mail address as well. Iqscale@yahoo.com

Mono Black Control Type 2 (Fall 2014)

   I’m thinking about the current rotation coming up and I’m starting to see the potential of a mono-black control deck. Right now, it’s in its infancy, but it seems to have potential with so many strong black cards in type 2 right now. It isn’t in it’s final form, in fact, it’s an evolving deck, but as it stands, this is what the deck currently looks like.


Spell

4x Thoughtseize

2x Bile Bright

4x Gild

4x Doom Blades

4x Sign in Blood

2x Extinguish All Hope

Planeswalker
2x Liliana Vess

Creatures

2x Soul of Innistrad

4x Indulgent Tormentor

4x Squelching Leeches

4x Master of the Feast

Land
24x Swamps

   Not much to look at, but she has it were it counts, kid. Looking at our card choices for the upcoming season, we’re gonna need a bigger boat.

   Soul of Innistard is a really solid creature, but it’s not Grave Titan. It brings back three creatures, sure, and does so at instant speed, but so far I found it hasn’t been much. I’m still holding out that this will be the key in the deck, although OB might find himself coming up to bat. Sure, 4/4 flying with trample isn’t that much in comparison to a 6/6, but it’s second ability will become more crucial to games should Liliana be in the prime version of the deck. It stops them from looking for answers. If you side them in, the opponent playing you in the mirror will most likely side her out and you’re stuck with an alright 4/4 flying trampler, vs the 6/6.

   Extinguish All Hope is a cheap, destroy all creatures spell. I would prefer Garruk’s Wake, but at nine, it’s price point is too steep. I want to wait until the format draws closer, but Nyxthkos will be seeing its way into the deck as a way to ramp us into the Wake. The wake will also be much better in the mirror match. Master of the Feast is not something on their board that we will want sticking around, even with its literal DRAW back.

   Gild seems counter-intuitive and yes, it I could understand why it would seem that way to you. A sorcery speed kill card that refunds one is on par with Liturgy of Blood. It has potential and so far, it hasn’t proven horrible enough to remove. The exile effect will be worth not being able to hit at instant speed, but against aggro it will need to be sided out. What is missing from this version and only because I’m missing them online, is Hero’s Downfall. They will need to be included, as they are still really solid removal.

The second list will look more like this


Spell

4x Thoughtseize

2x Bile Bright

2x Gild

4x Hero’s Downfall

4x Sign in Blood

2x Extinguish All Hope

Planeswalker
2x Liliana Vess

Creatures

2x Soul of Innistrad

4x Indulgent Tormentor

4x Squelching Leeches

4x Master of the Feast

Land
24x Swamps
2x Nykthkos

Comment with thoughts. Will update when Khans of Tarkir hits.

%d bloggers like this: