INTRODUCTION: a Christmas horror story is a weird, kind of anthology series that is all interlinked, but not very well. It seems like it wants to be one whole story, but breaks it up into pieces that connect, as if the writer wasn’t sure how to do it. Well, it is different, that is for damn sure.

SYNOPSIS: WHO THE FUCK KNOWS?

CHARACTERS: BANAL AS FUCK!

ACTING: It has Bill Shatner and everything is ok, nothing too horrible.

DIALOGUE: Not bad.

TENSION/PACING: NOT A TAD FUCKING BIT

FX: OBVIOUS CGI IS OBVIOUS. Krampus is on point, though.

MUSIC: MEH

SUBTEXT: FUCK YOU!

CONCLUSION: I know this is different from my normal reviews in that it seems like I am not even trying and to be fair, you’re right and that is how you should feel, because that is how this film seemed. Oh it isn’t that bad, sure and you could possibly enjoy it, but it isn’t re-watchable and it isn’t overly enjoyable. It has it’s moments, but you’ll sympathize with Shatners character of wanting to get it over with as soon as possible or being drunk to get through it.

2 out 5