Educational, Essays, Logic, Non-fiction

Lets Talk About Rape.

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1
: an act or instance of robbing or despoiling or carrying away a person by force
2
: unlawful sexual activity and usually sexual intercourse carried out forcibly or under threat of injury against the will usually of a female or with a person who is beneath a certain age or incapable of valid consent — compare sexual assault, statutory rape
3
: an outrageous violation

     This article is about rape. You didn’t ask for it and you don’t want it, but I’m forcing it upon you anyways. Besides, you know you want it. Those eyes scream yes, even if your mouth says no

     Why would I rape the unsuspected reader? Because I get off on the power of knowing that I can get away with it. I mean, after all, what did you do to protect yourself from me? You put yourself in this situation and besides, look at what you’re wearing. What did you expect to happen? I was provoked and had no other options.

     Shhhh! It’s ok, it will all be over soon…for me, anyways. Your story is just beginning and this is merely a catalyst for a life time of learning to trust and live with yourself. You’ll be transported to the hospital and given all sorts of test. They’ll want to make sure you were legitimately raped and then they’ll check you for sexually transmitted diseases and infection. A pregnancy test will be needed, just in case. Next, it will go viral and everyone will know you were raped. So begins the public scrutiny. Did he or didn’t he? Was she drinking? How come she didn’t do more to protect herself? Nude pictures from your phone will surface, only whores do those types of things. Common sense dictates that if you want that to be private, you shouldn’t take those types of chances. Your friends will shun you, because I couldn’t possibly do that kind of thing. He’s too nice and caring, they’ll say. You’re not even attractive enough to be raped, anyways. Only good looking people are raped. The worse part? You won’t even remember the assault, because I drugged you. After all, real victims remember, don’t they?

     Finally, when all is said and done, I’ll be exonerated and you’ll have to live knowing that I’m still out there. It was all you. If only you had been smarter. Why are you so fuckin’ stupid and pathetic? Psychologically beat yourself up, you know you deserved it anyways. Maybe you can escape the pain by killing yourself. Who would miss a fuckin’ whore, anyways?

     Feeling violated, yet? I’m not even kidding when I write the above. I write a lot of things, one of which is humor, but the words above shouldn’t be taken in jest. You were just raped. Sure, virtual rape doesn’t seem like “legitimate” rape, but read the definition again and know that it is, indeed, rape. I violated you with my words.

     I’ve violated you and now you can be sympathetic or empathic to those who have gone through rape. Why did I choose to start off a serious, but legitimate article by raping the reader? Good question. Why does rape happen to begin with? As I stated, I did it because I could, it’s a power trip. While rape is usually about power, it isn’t always done by a stranger. In fact, most rapes occur by trusting individuals.

     The old adage, if you don’t want to get raped, don’t be alone, doesn’t apply when you trusted the person for ages. Sure, if you’re out alone, it helps to have some protection handy, but that won’t protect you from your friend, counselor, doctor or other trusted individual from taking liberties with you. Besides, who was in the room as you clicked the link? How did that protect you from me?

      Did your looks matter? Didn’t prevent me from doing what I did. Even your gender didn’t help. Yes, even men can be raped. All different sexualities, even.

     Look at what you are wearing now. Did that conservative get up prevent me from the above?

      What was the point of all this? To create an awareness of rape, allow people to read the typical bullshit that is thrown at the victim and to understand in a way few can.

     So if you know anyone who has been raped, or you yourself have been a victim of sexual violence, then you need to seek help. Never be afraid to speak up for yourself or someone else. You could be the difference in preventing sexual violence. Don’t let anyone silence you.

     For more information on rape, visit these links:

     https://rainn.org/

Satire

Young Man Destroys Establishment.

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AP-United States

     It was just spouse to be another day at the office for John Pearson, but it turned out to be historical for both him and his home country.
Born in small town New England, John Person left the simple life in pursuit of his dream of being a full time journalist.

      “I wanted to be a journalist for years.” John Pearson said. “I can recall back, being as young as five years old and interviewing people using my handy-dandy notebook from Blue’s Clues. “ He pulled out the tattered old notebook, showing the scribbling of his youth. “I didn’t grow up enjoying the greats, like Prez Hilton as my peers did. Instead, I turned to little known journalist, like Christopher Hitchens, in order to hone my craft.”

     You might be wondering who John Pearson is and why he is all over the place. He is the young man who has written a technically sound news article. He remembered the who, what, when, where and why. Did his own fact checking and didn’t alter one quote that was said to him. I’m surprised this is news. John solemnly said. I was just doing my job.

     In today’s modern world of sound bites, salacious headlines that have nothing to do with the actual article and TMZ style reporting, a young man like John would be considered too traditional to work for any major publication. Only his second article, his first being about a couple of gay Squirrels getting married, he has reason to not let it go to his head.

     “You know, I only have these two stories under my belt, so let’s see if I can continue to be the journalistic Jesus that the media is making me out to be.” He chuckled and then reminded me that journalist don’t actually get to pick the stories they will be covering and need to make a living just like any other American.

     “It’s not as if I’m going to win the Murrow award for this piece.” He added. “I have some real competition. Did you see the piece about Paris Hilton stumbling from the bar? You cannot compete with journalistic heavy-weights writing about the things Americans truly care about.”

     Indeed, John is spot on. So young and humble. We here at Best in your Girl have no doubt that John will continue to improve the journalistic landscape, one article at a time. He is already onto his next piece entitled Living with cancer at five years old.

     “I know it’s nothing, but it’s interesting to me and I just know someone out there will enjoy the piece just as much as I do. I figured with the major success I’ve garnered, perhaps they’ll cut me some slack with this next one.”

     We look forward to reading the piece and keeping you up to date on John’s career.

     Update: John did, in fact, receive a Murrow award nomination. Losing to the Paris Hilton article he cited.