Category Archives: Satire

Dickoloden

While I do not intend on necessarily using this name as a finished project, the other title is “Stickaloadein” or Stick a Lode In. I thought this might make for an interesting idea to converse about.

So essentially this is a fun project that will be one of many parodies and one I think has a market for. The 90’s have been making a huge cum back and now we can re-imagine our favorite old shows, but with a XXX bent.

This will be a DVD project, as opposed to multiple stand alone parodies, because I think that one of the many issues of porn parodies is that they are often too long and have a lot of filler that is just not needed for you to enjoy.

For instance of Klarrisa Does it all parody. No one wants to see Ferguson banging anyone. It’s Sam & Klarrisa that everyone wanted to see bang, from the second that ladder hit her window. Let’s be honest, Ferguson would of been outside his sister’s window, jacking his tiny penis and moaning Donald Trump’s name.

I plan on finding and paying performers who have never done porn before, as opposed to hiring traditional artist. The high number reflects the fact that I desire to actually make this seem as close to the originals, right down to set design as I can without going over budget.

Given the fact there have been tons of parodies out their, coupled with the nostalgia for the 1990’s, this seems like an idea ripe for the picking.

What do you think of the idea?

Please feel free to comment and suggest things about the Indiegogo campaign.

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/dickoloden–2/x/13473227#/

Conception Begins at Rape

Just in Time to buy for the Republican Cacucas’ and the Presidential Race.
Use this classic GOP slogan and show your support!

http://www.cafepress.com/mf/103584097/gop-parody_tshirt?productId=1731459405

Life’s a Bitch and then you Die.

     “Life’s a bitch and then you die” says one Massachusetts doctor. Asking to remain anonymous, Doctor X has been studying the effects of life on humans for over twenty-five years now. “We’ve discovered that you start to die the minute you’re born.” he said, adding “and it sucks until then.”

     For such a bleak prognosis, surely there must be a cure. According to Dr. X, no cure is in sight. He explained “We’ve been looking for a cure for years. Life has a 100% mortality rate. You’re going to die and possibly sooner than you think.”

     Dr. X explained to this reporter that this need not be something to worry about. “Lots of people die, every day. The trick is to live before that happens.” he added. A tall order for some people, he knows, but when Asked about what people could do to make their life less of a bitch, all Doctor X had to say was “I find drugs help.”

     I inquired as to what type of drugs he has prescribed to patients in the past. “All of them.” he said. “Do as many drugs as humanly possible. I mean, odds are good that you’ll die tomorrow, so what the hell, right?” When asked if there was anything else he would like people to know, he said “Fuck and fuck often” Quickly adding “While on drugs.”

Young Man Destroys Establishment.

AP-United States

     It was just spouse to be another day at the office for John Pearson, but it turned out to be historical for both him and his home country.
Born in small town New England, John Person left the simple life in pursuit of his dream of being a full time journalist.

      “I wanted to be a journalist for years.” John Pearson said. “I can recall back, being as young as five years old and interviewing people using my handy-dandy notebook from Blue’s Clues. “ He pulled out the tattered old notebook, showing the scribbling of his youth. “I didn’t grow up enjoying the greats, like Prez Hilton as my peers did. Instead, I turned to little known journalist, like Christopher Hitchens, in order to hone my craft.”

     You might be wondering who John Pearson is and why he is all over the place. He is the young man who has written a technically sound news article. He remembered the who, what, when, where and why. Did his own fact checking and didn’t alter one quote that was said to him. I’m surprised this is news. John solemnly said. I was just doing my job.

     In today’s modern world of sound bites, salacious headlines that have nothing to do with the actual article and TMZ style reporting, a young man like John would be considered too traditional to work for any major publication. Only his second article, his first being about a couple of gay Squirrels getting married, he has reason to not let it go to his head.

     “You know, I only have these two stories under my belt, so let’s see if I can continue to be the journalistic Jesus that the media is making me out to be.” He chuckled and then reminded me that journalist don’t actually get to pick the stories they will be covering and need to make a living just like any other American.

     “It’s not as if I’m going to win the Murrow award for this piece.” He added. “I have some real competition. Did you see the piece about Paris Hilton stumbling from the bar? You cannot compete with journalistic heavy-weights writing about the things Americans truly care about.”

     Indeed, John is spot on. So young and humble. We here at Best in your Girl have no doubt that John will continue to improve the journalistic landscape, one article at a time. He is already onto his next piece entitled Living with cancer at five years old.

     “I know it’s nothing, but it’s interesting to me and I just know someone out there will enjoy the piece just as much as I do. I figured with the major success I’ve garnered, perhaps they’ll cut me some slack with this next one.”

     We look forward to reading the piece and keeping you up to date on John’s career.

     Update: John did, in fact, receive a Murrow award nomination. Losing to the Paris Hilton article he cited.

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