The Art of Trolling and Motocycle Matinence.

     Trolling is an ancient art, passed on from Leet (1337 for the layman.) forum user to Leet forum user for eons, or circa 1997 A.D. whichever way you want to see it, it’s been around for a while and will not go away.

     You’ve most likely seen the occasional celebrity or others bitching about them, but they provide a valuable service. In fact, saying “troll” is just an ignorant way for a person to shield themselves from intellectual responsibility. If you understood the fine art of trolling, then you would realize that you’re also a troll.

     Anyone with any internet presence, what so ever, is a troll. Simply put, trolling is either a comedic act or arguing. Let us, for the sake of argument, assume that trolling is simply pointing out the flaws in a person’s argument or engaging someone in lively debate.

     Said person has the balls to stand up to someone and assert that the person is wrong. Perhaps, more harsh than the mark (to use a wrestling term.)would like. Simply saying “LOL, you sux” Or “I hope you die of cancer” is not trolling. They are simply, assholes. Regardless of how someone has gone about pointing out that you’re wrong, you shouldn’t be obstinate in thinking you’re 100% right.

     The catch is, though, that not every person has the time, nor should be required to shift through hundreds and hundreds of tweets, post, e-mails or other digital data. How does one rectify this? Harsh language, use of special characters (Leet-speek) or some other form of communicative pea cocking. In other words, much like a peacock uses its bright tail to attract a mate, so too does it attract predators.

     When you send something out to into the world, say a thought or argument, a point of view or even just musings, expect to invite replies, retorts, counter arguments, fatuous statements and even the vulgar comments. You are not the U.S.S. Enterprise with Sulu driving you away from danger, you’re Han Solo with C-3PO giving you the odds of navigating an asteroid field, successfully. In other words, you open yourself up to whatever your post merits.

     Now, while calling you an idiot (Layman) for lacking that technical knowledge or special knowledge about something, isn’t the best way for giving criticism or expressing that your point is wrong, it is a way to get the intended point across.

     The first thing we need to do is stop trolling were it starts, celebrities. You know the old saying “Any press is good press?” That is exactly what trolling is. Any bit of notice is good notice. Oh, sure, you might lose your show or two, but your short term loss will be long term gains, when the ire of the consumers dies down and then it’s back to business as usual. Just look at R.Kelly and others to see what an apology can do. In other words, lead by example if you want what trolling has become to evolve. Everyone, celebrity or not, could afford to reign in their trolling for the better.

     Arguing on the internet, it was once said, is like winning the Special Olympics. Even if you win, you’re still retarded. Arguing is a brilliant form of communication that is intended to change people’s views by pointing out flaws in reasoning, logic or ill-gotten facts. To argue is actually a politeness. It expresses concern for the intellectual welfare of our species. To allow you to go off half-cocked is funnier, but degrading. Tougher love, so to speak. In other words, be happy that someone is willing to help you see what is wrong, so that your mental space is less cluttered with rubbish.

     Arguing on the internet is spontaneous, instant, engaging and fun. These pros often lead to negative cons that we’ve all been guilty of more often than not and should be wary of in the future. Here is Kage’s rules for optimum trolling.

     1.Define what it is you’re expressing. Few words have one definition and as such, we all have a preconceived concept in our head as to what we think it is that we’re arguing about. If it’s about capitalism, define what it means. There are a number of things that capitalism could mean to anyone. It helps to express it to the best of your ability. Make sure no one can misunderstand you.

     2.Avoid pea cocking your reply. It will get noticed, sure, but it won’t change things. A concise and to the point retort is worth more than the 146 characters you’ll use to express such.

     3.Think before you send anything. Are you expressing yourself as eloquently as possible? Where are you wrong? Are your arguments solid? Are you expressing fact or opinion? There is room for all, but make sure each is defined. Such as, all these rules are merely guidelines based off my experiences and in my opinion, will suit you well in engaging people in person or online debate.

     4.Do not jump the gun and attack. You need to understand your potential opponents position, in order to better counter the argument and

     5.Never be afraid to agree with someone or point out were a person is right. Few people are rarely 100% wrong. Sometimes they get things half right, but not entirely. If they’re right on something, say so.

     6.Humor will cement ideas and diffuse a situation that might otherwise be a tad bit tense. No one likes to be wrong, but we sometimes are and that is OK. Most people have a sense of humor and to use it when needed will allow for more enjoyment in your debate.

     Keep these in mind when trolling the internet and you’ll have a much better go at it, as well as argue more efficiently than you would have otherwise and might even change some minds. If you cannot change the mind of someone who is wrong through thoughtful and humorous discourse, than they will most likely never budge. Even if the intended mark doesn’t agree or get it, you might have changed the minds of any lurkers reading the conversation.

     If you’re one of those lurkers, please express such, if you happen to change your tune and never be afraid to share anything that has opened your eyes or mind.
——
*Edited to remove slight errors

One comment

  1. In case anyone was wondering, the picture with the article is a fine example of comical trolling. The woman in the pic isn’t even Asian, she is Indian.

    Like

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