Horror, Romance from a Male Perspective.

“Just because it’s a love story doesn’t mean it can’t have a decapitation or two.”

Robert Englund, Wes Cravens’ New Nightmare

Horror movies. Love them or hate them you most likely have a hardline opinion on them. Few have apathy for the genre. Some love gore, some love to be scared and some find those things to be damning to the soul and would much rather see these movies never be made again. Can we find a universal redeeming quality for one of my favorite genres? Maybe and that is what we’re going to look at. I believe Horror movies are really romances at heart, from the male point of view.

Obviously, what we’re seeing onscreen is “real” in terms of the world these characters are living in, So we’re dealing with this from the point of subtext and not a literal interpretation.

The typical killer in these movies are normally male and pretty masculine. They’re representative of the id and all the primitive instincts that make it up. Sexuality, Aggression and instincts. There is no ego or super ego to keep them in check, they couldn’t care less. Their driving force is satiety.

The typical survivor girl is almost always female, hence the term, and more akin of the ego and superego. They’re the ones struggling to keep control against the ID. This is why they’re often virtuous and innocent in the beginning.

Now that we set the tone for what I’m arguing, we can start to examine the micro aspects of the genre, like the weapon almost always being subtext for a phallus. Normally it is a blade of some sort, be it a sword, knife or machete. Why? Because at some point the survivor girl is going to be penetrated by the knife or cut somehow and this is subtext for sexual penetration. Masculinity and femininity combined as one, occasionally resulting in the monster themselves being impaled later on by their own weapon, in role reversal. I’ll elude more to this below.  

The friends or other victims are almost always shallow and that’s because the ID isn’t friendly to what it wants. I know a lot of us critics will point out that these characters need development and while I stand by that, the killer’s perspective couldn’t care less. When they’re men, they represent competition for what the ID wants and need to be dispatched and when they’re woman, they’re just “sexual” fodder, due to not satiating the unbridled carnality.

The endings usually see the survival girl “kill” off the monster, which is subtext for the lust being quenched by the object of desire and as stated above, the monster being penetrated, normally in the heart area, as subtext of falling in love, which juxtaposes with the females often being stabbed in the uterus area, as if being impregnated.

So why monsters as analogy, vs aggressive men? Men are often vilified for their desires and what they would do to achieve those ends. This is the enteral plight of the individuals fight with the ego, albeit not exhibited onscreen, but rather in how the villain is perceiving themselves and showing us who they feel as if they are.

Horror and romances even have similar plot points within the story structure. Meetcutes for instance, when the future couple meets for the first time. Halloween where Michael is standing behind the bush is an example of this.

While not exhaustive, when you examine these main points, all of this makes the horror-slasher genre really a love story from the point of the male libido.

The Art of Trolling and Motocycle Matinence.

     Trolling is an ancient art, passed on from Leet (1337 for the layman.) forum user to Leet forum user for eons, or circa 1997 A.D. whichever way you want to see it, it’s been around for a while and will not go away.

     You’ve most likely seen the occasional celebrity or others bitching about them, but they provide a valuable service. In fact, saying “troll” is just an ignorant way for a person to shield themselves from intellectual responsibility. If you understood the fine art of trolling, then you would realize that you’re also a troll.

     Anyone with any internet presence, what so ever, is a troll. Simply put, trolling is either a comedic act or arguing. Let us, for the sake of argument, assume that trolling is simply pointing out the flaws in a person’s argument or engaging someone in lively debate.

     Said person has the balls to stand up to someone and assert that the person is wrong. Perhaps, more harsh than the mark (to use a wrestling term.)would like. Simply saying “LOL, you sux” Or “I hope you die of cancer” is not trolling. They are simply, assholes. Regardless of how someone has gone about pointing out that you’re wrong, you shouldn’t be obstinate in thinking you’re 100% right.

     The catch is, though, that not every person has the time, nor should be required to shift through hundreds and hundreds of tweets, post, e-mails or other digital data. How does one rectify this? Harsh language, use of special characters (Leet-speek) or some other form of communicative pea cocking. In other words, much like a peacock uses its bright tail to attract a mate, so too does it attract predators.

     When you send something out to into the world, say a thought or argument, a point of view or even just musings, expect to invite replies, retorts, counter arguments, fatuous statements and even the vulgar comments. You are not the U.S.S. Enterprise with Sulu driving you away from danger, you’re Han Solo with C-3PO giving you the odds of navigating an asteroid field, successfully. In other words, you open yourself up to whatever your post merits.

     Now, while calling you an idiot (Layman) for lacking that technical knowledge or special knowledge about something, isn’t the best way for giving criticism or expressing that your point is wrong, it is a way to get the intended point across.

     The first thing we need to do is stop trolling were it starts, celebrities. You know the old saying “Any press is good press?” That is exactly what trolling is. Any bit of notice is good notice. Oh, sure, you might lose your show or two, but your short term loss will be long term gains, when the ire of the consumers dies down and then it’s back to business as usual. Just look at R.Kelly and others to see what an apology can do. In other words, lead by example if you want what trolling has become to evolve. Everyone, celebrity or not, could afford to reign in their trolling for the better.

     Arguing on the internet, it was once said, is like winning the Special Olympics. Even if you win, you’re still retarded. Arguing is a brilliant form of communication that is intended to change people’s views by pointing out flaws in reasoning, logic or ill-gotten facts. To argue is actually a politeness. It expresses concern for the intellectual welfare of our species. To allow you to go off half-cocked is funnier, but degrading. Tougher love, so to speak. In other words, be happy that someone is willing to help you see what is wrong, so that your mental space is less cluttered with rubbish.

     Arguing on the internet is spontaneous, instant, engaging and fun. These pros often lead to negative cons that we’ve all been guilty of more often than not and should be wary of in the future. Here is Kage’s rules for optimum trolling.

     1.Define what it is you’re expressing. Few words have one definition and as such, we all have a preconceived concept in our head as to what we think it is that we’re arguing about. If it’s about capitalism, define what it means. There are a number of things that capitalism could mean to anyone. It helps to express it to the best of your ability. Make sure no one can misunderstand you.

     2.Avoid pea cocking your reply. It will get noticed, sure, but it won’t change things. A concise and to the point retort is worth more than the 146 characters you’ll use to express such.

     3.Think before you send anything. Are you expressing yourself as eloquently as possible? Where are you wrong? Are your arguments solid? Are you expressing fact or opinion? There is room for all, but make sure each is defined. Such as, all these rules are merely guidelines based off my experiences and in my opinion, will suit you well in engaging people in person or online debate.

     4.Do not jump the gun and attack. You need to understand your potential opponents position, in order to better counter the argument and

     5.Never be afraid to agree with someone or point out were a person is right. Few people are rarely 100% wrong. Sometimes they get things half right, but not entirely. If they’re right on something, say so.

     6.Humor will cement ideas and diffuse a situation that might otherwise be a tad bit tense. No one likes to be wrong, but we sometimes are and that is OK. Most people have a sense of humor and to use it when needed will allow for more enjoyment in your debate.

     Keep these in mind when trolling the internet and you’ll have a much better go at it, as well as argue more efficiently than you would have otherwise and might even change some minds. If you cannot change the mind of someone who is wrong through thoughtful and humorous discourse, than they will most likely never budge. Even if the intended mark doesn’t agree or get it, you might have changed the minds of any lurkers reading the conversation.

     If you’re one of those lurkers, please express such, if you happen to change your tune and never be afraid to share anything that has opened your eyes or mind.
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*Edited to remove slight errors