Breaking News:Ronald Regan Declares War on ISIS

AP-Washington

In a move that is shocking to most of the nation, since we’re so close to Christmas, Ronald Regan has declared war on ISIS from a brief televised interview at The White House.
Ronald Regan stood in front of reporters and stated “Mr. Goatatov, tear down that wall.” Referencing a figurative wall between the US and Middle East Relations that has been impeding US progress for years. “We need to be more vigilant in protecting our fine nations from terrorist and doing more, which why I have declared war on ISIS”

Ronald Regan closing out his speech, giving our troops a pep talk by quoting the movie “The Rock” with “Your “best”! Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen.”

It should be noted that Ronald Regan has been dead for the last 11 years. We will update this story as more develops.

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