INTRODUCTION: Snootch to the mutha fuckin nootch! So while I have never actually reviewed a Kevin Smith film, I have been a fan for years. I went as Dante from Clerks, even though I’m more of a Randal fan. Who could miss a golden opportunity to bitch about how I wasn’t even supposed to be here today? Every screenplay I have ever conceived has at least one reference to Kevin Smith. I’ve even had the same conversation about shitting or getting off the pot with a female Dante in my late 20s. Unlike Dante, the 7/11 employee ended up quitting and getting a better job. A testament to Kevin’s writing. I even lived in a town that saw a church celebrating its Bicentennial, sadly, no Ill equipped angel entered into and nearly negating all of existence. Not to mention, growing up in Salem, Massachusetts, one Haunted Happings eve, at the local comic shop, I bumped into two fanboys dressed as the men themselves, Jay and Silent Bob, where I said “aren’t you that silent jay and bob guys?” To which the not so silent bob corrected me. Worse than not knowing Jungle Love. So to say my life hasn’t seen a lot of Kevin Smith references is an understatement.

PLOT: Nearly Senior Citizens, Dante Hicks and Randall Graves are still working at the quick stop, which they now own, when a near death experience forces Randal out of his comfort zone to make a movie.

CHARACTERS: If you don’t watch Kevin’s movies, you’re going to be lost here. You need to see Clerks one and two first. The characters grow, albeit slowly, over the course of several movies.

ACTING: Best Acting I’ve seen from a grouping of non actors. Brian O’halloran deserved an Oscar nom for the emotional aspect he exuded here and Jeff Anderson followed right on his heels with an equally stellar emotional performance.

VISUALS: it’s Clerks. Who cares?

FX: ?

MUSIC: More modern, well as modern as 05 and up can be. It’s fitting.

CONCLUSION: This was made for fans of the series, nothing more and nothing less and while I hate the ending, which justifies Dante’s world view of life being a series of down endings, it’s still fitting. Honestly, Clerks 3 is the strongest of the two sequels and while I enjoyed Clerks 2, it’s a movie that probably shouldn’t have been made. That said, it did as a bridge to an even better Clerks 3. If you’re a fan, give it a watch.

4/5