FUCK NERD CULTURE (2009)

Starwars sucks. There, I said it. I just commited the highest blasphemy in geek history. My cpu will be sent trojans (unforuntly not condoms, cause a Starwars fan has never known a womans touch) Dorks will camp outside my house for months just to get a chance to hit me with there plastic TOY sabers. The anti-christ will come forth to cause destruction and cats and dogs will be living together. Mass hysteria!

Now, with that said, I will not overlook the contributions that Starwars has given to the cinema. Without Lucas and ILM making Starwars, who knows where movie special fx would have went. Would we have a lot of our beloved movies we have today, had Starwars not come first? Prob. not. We also have it to partily thank for Kevin Smiths career. Kevin Smith is awesome, but I digress.

I highly doubt there is a Starwars fan among you that can say they, at one point or another, have not been fed up with the “holy trilogy”. Even bored by it. How many times has Lucas messed with the oringal flims? How about how bad Episodes 1 and 2 sucked? the only reason people liked 3 was to see the return of Vader. Hardly Worth suffering through Jar Jar binks for.

Starwars has become too mainstrem for its own good. Everyone is a Starwars fan now. Part of being a geek is liking the obscure. Things others don’t find cool, we do.

This goes double for you fantasy loving geeks out there. Lord of the Rings SUCKS! Those are the most blatlenty homo-erotic movies ever concived. While the books might be good, the movies are boring and GAY! Just because you’re the grandfather of all fantasy, doesn’t mean everything about you is awesome.

While I am at it, Horror needs a kick in the nuts. Its all the same. Saw movies SUCK! Hostel movies SUCK! PG-13 horror SUCKS! J-horror SUCKS! Remakes SUCK! Zombie movies and fans, SUCK! I ain’t even talking about Rob here, I am talking about movies about zombies. Zombies are the worst monsters ever, stop holding them up on a pedestal, RETARDS!

Following this suit, Freddy, Jason, Micheal, Chucky and Pinhead, need to stay DEAD! Freddy is a joke. Jason is boring. Micheal gets raped by shitty musicans who think they can direct, and the Hellrasier movies, while they all suck to begin with, don’t even involve Pinhead anymore.

Horror just plain sucks now. It’s fun while your a kid, but it soon loses it luster after you realize how they’re all the same movie, repacked to be sucked up by the idiot public.

RPG’s are DUMB! D&D sucks. So don’t you if you have discussions about how your broad soward gets +7 damage if cast at night and other retarded things. The only decent RPG is prob Vampire the Requiem and other White Wolf games.

If you’re one of those losers that plays any RPG all day, and I don’t care if it’s D&D or World of Warcraft (Which sucks just as much) or any RPG, you need to take a stright edge razor and end your life now. Losers.

While I am at it, here is a list of other “Geek” things, that are overrated now.

1.Monty Python and the holy grail. Funny movie, but quoted ad nasuem. Find a new movie to quote.

2. The Evil Dead. The first movie is boring as fuck. The second one alright and Army of Darkness, watchable. The ONLY thing these movies had going for it was the direction of Sam Rami and the acting of Bruce Campbell.

3. Not sure what should go here, I attacked most everything, except Star Trek, and trust me trekkiees, you’re NEXT!

This is the end of this little diatribe…for now. I will update it from time to time with things I may have left out in my attacks. Geeks and fanboys are safe, for now

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