OMG, BARRACK OBAMA IS GAY? (2009)

Oh, my God;Did you see that Adam Lambert just admitted he is gay? I don’t believe it.

So ends another vapid exchange between two lesser beings, also known as American Idol fans(I apologize to my great friend, who happens to be smarter then the average American Idol fan, but still enjoys the show.)

America needs to get over its gay obsession. Guess what? gay’s are not new, they have been around as long as humans have. Stop pretending like they are the new toy you just got for Christmas, and awing over them.

I had to check the calender today to see if it was 2009 or 1996…you see, thirteen years ago, a celebrity–hell, anyone really–coming out the closet might have been a major shocker. Now its old hat.

Oh my God, did you know [insert celebrity name here] is gay? The right response to this question is “Who gives a fuck?”

Hey, did you know so and so is straight? That might be more of a surprise in a nation is that slowly becoming gayer and gayer.

Hell, this country seems to have such an obsession with gays that Sometimes we know you’re gay before you even do.

Hey America! If you love gays so much, why don’t you marry them? Oh, thats right, because we’re still a nation of homophobes. Our obsession with gays is more that of an anthroplogist, studying the tribe.

“The gays, they act like real people…astonishing!” “They feel, just like us.”

What an incredible discovery we made;Gays are human, go figure?

and enough with this bullshit phrase “I came out of the closet” it is so cliche. So many gay people “come out” of it on such a daily basis, that one has to wonder; is it a closet or a fucking clown car?

Gay’s and Clowns have a lot in common;both wear obscene amounts of glitter and make up, both are bedecked in outrageous outfits and apparently you can fit shit loads of them into small, dark, tight spaces.

Thats right, I just compared homosexuals to clowns, get the fuck over it.

We need to go back to don’t ask, don’t tell. Because who you fuck is none of my goddamn fucking business. How is knowing the EMT–who is saving your life– takes it in the ass on a nightly basis from his boyfriend going to change who he is as a techinican? So long as he is compentat at what he does, that is all that matters.

No more “gay pride” prades. Guess what? The majority of Americans couldn’t care less you’re here, you’re queer and you’re proud. What I give a shit about is that your fucking parade is holding up traffic.

I’ll vote agasint gay marrige, just on the fact you made me 15 minutes late to my goddamn appoitment.

Another thing, stop comparing this “gay rights” bullshit to the civilrights movment of the 60’s. They are not one and the same thing.

You didn’t see headlines in the 60’s read “Louie Armstrong says “I’m black” did you? It must of been a real shocker when Sammy Davis Jr came out as well.

“Boo hoo, we can’t marry” How would you like a special bubbler(water fountain) that says “Gay use only”?

Oh, thats right, we don’t segerate strights and homo’s, do we? and even if we did, it isn’t as if you could hide it like the blacks could hide there skin color, right?

“but people shouldn’t have to hide who they are” blah blah blah, SHUT IT! The world isn’t perfect, it is the way it is, and you have to make the most out of your life with what you’re delt.

You don’t see me running around yelling out how stright I am, do you?

Do I hog up traffic with stright pride prades, marching giant plaster of paris vaginas up and down the street to show the world how much I love pussy, do you?

Why is that? Because no one gives a shit.

You decide to “come out” you deal with the reactions you get. Its like yelling “fire” in a crowded building,there is going to be a reaction.

I guess what I really wanted to say is this: Being gay is no longer news;stop wasting ink and trees on how the next American Idol winner is queer. Because no one really gives a shit…except for the tweengirls whose hearts you just crushed because the Backstreet Boys are fags.

Well, thats the end of this lengthy diatribe;so much more I want to say, but maybe I’ll save it for a extended version or a part two.

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