INTRODUCTION: Adam Sandler and Happy Madison did it again and I do not mean making a great movie. Props to the most meta movie comment ever when a teacher Cleopatra, when prompted to help Sandler’s Character, says “No, he overstayed his welcome!”.

PLOT: A stupid but “lovable” shlub, is hated by his hometown and ends up in the midst of a murder mystery.

CHARACTERS: It’s a Sandler movie, it’s shallow as fuck stock characters. Fuck him and fuck Netflix too!

STYLE: This shit would of been straight to DVD when I was a child, so it looks good from that Standpoint but not really something that would be visually stunning in a theater.

WRITING: Typical Sandler movie with the same bullshit juvenilia that plagues all his movies now a days.

MUSIC: *Shrug*

SUBTEXT: Presumably it’s more schadenfreude from Sandler, the textbook simpleton, who was most likely disliked as a child due to being a moron and who “grew up” to “make something” of himself, so he likes to constantly write the same story and shove it in people’s face.

CONCLUSION: This is all the same beats as Happy Gilmore or Billy Madison. It’s a guy, who would be living in a half way home if someone cared enough about them to get them some help, but as usual, the dumbass somehow saves the day or gets the girl. You know, shit that doesn’t actually happen in real life, given that Sandler and his characters are possibly legally retarded, so the hot girl boning him is the adult equivalent of pedophilia. These movies where cute when you were a child, but they’re sad and pathetic now. If wanted to see middle aged losers who couldn’t cut it in the real world and couldn’t grow up because adulting is “too hard”, I could look on YouTube and find half a dozen Millennial Neckbeards that fit the profile. Adam is the young boomer, proto-millennial who couldn’t grow up back in the 90’s and still cannot. When you factor in his core audience is the same, you get a movie that is not needed. In an alternative world, where Adam Sandler’s audience grew up and he didn’t, those intellectually obtuse neckbeards would be watching these dated, but new “classic” Sandler flix with kids of their own. So while they would still be trite, at least they would serve a function. If Adam really wanted to impress me with a new movie, he would take his formula and combine it with Uwe Boll’s Rampage, it would be more in line with the majority of his former audience and he could call it InCel. It would make a fortune.

EDIT: If anyone would actually like to see a movie that is Billy Madison+Rampage, let me know in the comments and I’ll launch a kickstarter to direct it.