These two “holidays” should be abolished from history books because they narcissistic as fuck and falls under the category of Valentine’s Day, aka all commercials day, a day when candy and card places get together to make you buy unnecessary crap, because you were too self absorbed the rest of the year to appreciate your lover.

There’s nothing wrong with loving your parents or even appreciating them, however, just because you forgot to pull out isn’t a good enough excuse to party. Nor should your kids be forced to worship you. If you’re a good parent, you kids will, at minimum, mostly appreciate you during the year.

Can kids be moderately ungrateful? Sure! I know there were times I might not had been the most grateful, but that doesn’t make the kid bad. Any level of appreciation for what you do for them is better than none, but it still doesn’t deserve a day to itself.

If the day was for the government to appreciate the family unit, you would not have woman fighting for paternity leave and you would make it a bank holiday and make allowance for it, whilst giving people the day off. We do it for Veterans Day and for Memorial Day and isn’t family equally as important?

Speaking of which, ever notice it’s called paternity? It comes from the Latin, pater, or father. It’s all about us men, which is interesting, because some people consider kids a legacy, and well, wouldn’t a woman potentially desire that too? I doubt they wanted to be over glorified incubators for nine months out of the sheer pleasure. Although, I’m sure they enjoyed the nine months of judgement free eating that comes with it. Much like weddings are all about the woman, because it’s called holy matrimony. Which, as you guessed, comes from the Latin “mater” or mother. Because historically, within our nation, it was socially acceptable to parade your future gendered slave in front of each other’s families before you chained them to the house to basically be an over glorified surrogate mother for the boomer man-child.

Instead of caring about just the mother or father’s, I think we should consider combining them into family day. It’s like Thanksgiving, but without the historical bugaboo of slaughtering an entire race of people, like the fuckin Nazi’s, to celebrate it.

I know some of you will say “What about people who are family displaced?” To those unfortunate few, appreciate your friendships more, because that’s your family.

Happy Families Day!

-Kage