Tag Archives: shudder review

Kagemas: All the Creatures Were Stirring

INTRODUCTION: This was one for 1st Kagemas, but I guess I couldn’t have been bothered to write a review for it. Why? Well, read on.

SYNOPSIS: Couple go to movies where the play resembles stories about to be told.

ACTING: It’s acting, which is something that it indeed is.

VISUALS: Not bad. Shit movies have better budgets now a days.

TENSION: Only in the struggle to watch it.

MUSIC: it’s there. So that has to account for something, right?

FX: Better than 80’s movies, not that I hate old school FX.

DIALOGUE: People speak, so.

SUBTEXT: LOL

CONCLUSION: The very first story is the best, reminiscent of the 60’s Batman style. One would think the Joker was behind everything. This should have been turned into its own independent flick. After that, much like A Christmas Horror Story, they didn’t even try to make the stories interesting. If you’re looking for a good movie, this isn’t it. To be fair, I hate Anthologies even more than I hate Found footage flicks. Anthologies are usually lower brow than episodic TV and only just above Youtube videos. Dramas are slightly better, because they’re closer to movies in length and build. Movies are the height form of visual medium. I don’t watch many anthologies, but this isn’t a good one. Don’t waste your time.

1 ½ out of 5.

Kagemas: Christmas Presence Movie Review

INTRODUCTION

I’m reviewing another movie that is a Shudder exclusive, called Christmas Presence. Shudder has way better original content than Netflix does, but is this one of them? Short answer is no, it is not.

PLOT

An assortment of friends spend Christmas together at their well to do gay designer friend’s house. A spirit or ghost of some type inhabits the land. Bedlam ensues and people are killed leading to a dumb ending. Think Evil Dead with Hill House and you have this pile of dung.

CHARACTERS

Not well developed. 3 out of 5 characters are LGBT, we know this, cause they tell us and the characterized aspects are black and white, very unrealistic to those of us who have known LGBT people. Flamboyant gay man is flamboyant, the lesbian is a dude, the bi character is a straight male perpetrated fantasy, the black straight chick is angry and her beta cuckhold husband is in love with the bi white chick. Also, the gay man is in love with the bi white chick. The male lesbian is dating the bi white chick and the straight black chick is jealous of her. I’m not joking about any of this. The bi white chick also rants about the media and the treatment of LGBT as more of an alt-lite voice. This implies that leftists really have no clue on how to support diversity or show LGBT people as they truly are. Did I mention how they let us know how gay these characters are but the only kiss is between a gay man and the bi women?

ACTING

Alright, but it is not believable that any of these twats are friends for even a second.

STYLE

It looks cheap and indie, as opposed to Summer of 84, that feels big budget and could be released into theaters. The effects are decent, but nothing cutting edge or new.

CONCLUSION

This movie is not the worst movie ever, it is better than some of your old school, run of the mill, B flicks. You can watch it without cringing and maybe you might enjoy it, inspite of the flaws. That said, this movie is not for me.

3 out of 5