If life had taught me one thing by the time I was 16, it was that I was smarter than 99% of adults. However, that would change one Autumn day.

Fryeburg Maine, 2002. I’m 16 years old and the annual fair was taken place across from my parents place. I’ve been to other fairs, but not this one. This one wasn’t anything like Topsfeild in Massachusetts, it looked more rural and hick-ish from the outside, however, when you got in an inspected it, it had a quaint Cham.

So Maine has a rule that states if a game is modified, even if it’s “gambling” you can play provided you’re at least 16 years of age. So me being me, I borrowed a dollar from my mom and played a pick the color game. That dollar became $20, which is 2002 was like $100 for a 16 year old. So I gave my mom her initial investment back, and pocketed $19 dollars in quarters and walked into the great unknown, while my parents stuck with my younger siblings. Like a hot chick in an ovulation cycle, a booth appeared. Not just any booth, but the golden goose of booths. It had the coveted WWF, then just turned WWE, reproduction belts. You know, the $300 dollar ones.

So I bite like a guppie on a hook. What’s the game? Easy, toss the ball and have it drop into the bucket.

So I figured out quickly that I’m advantaged here, cause I love science and this is an easy physics concept. Naturally I’m smarter than a carney, right? Nope! $19 dollars later and I’m broke and pissed off. Why? Because hubris blinded me in that moment and it wasn’t as easy as I thought. Years later Mythbusters would do an episode on pretty much the exact same concept, they even shared my bias, and got the exact opposite I did. Well, at least people that are smarter got to waste Discovery channels money rather than their own to find that out, as I did.

An all over a dumb cosplay title belt. I eventually one upped the carney, thanks to Gimp and created a picture of me with said belt in question.

And a few years after that, nature was kind and through a random chance occurrence, I got to actually hold one finally.

And not just any belt, it was one that John Cena had personally gifted to a make a wish youth that lived in the city and they were kind enough to let me take a picture with it.

So like the black guy in Harold and Kumar pointed out “The Universe tends to unfold as it should, plus I got a pretty big penis ,so that keeps me happy”

Moral of the story? Just because you’re advantaged, doesn’t mean you’re going to win. Sometimes the universe, as my best friend always likes to remind me, has other plans. In this case, it was reminding me that I was not smarter than a carney.

In closing

Stay metal! And always stay in school🤘