So I’ve been writing since I was young. I’ve done every major style I could produce and spent unteen million hours honing myself. Writing seems to run in my family. So my first screen, vs back in the 90s when I worked out a couple pages here and there for learning purposes, came about when I was 22. However, I was working out ideas in 2004 as well, long before YouTube even existed. My brother and I decided we would try to co-write a screenplay together, individually working on different scenes by ourselves and then I would type up our stuff into a word 1995 document. Remember, this is right before YouTube and we didn’t have any real reason to do this outside of wanting to challenge ourselves. So the premise? Parody Jaws. The take away? Writing screenplays by yourself is so much easier of a task. I don’t understand why Hollywood has to have 15 bajillion writers for one movie. However, it was a fun experience. So for the 50th anniversary of Jaws, here is a small example of what I was trying 20 years ago.

————————————————-

EXT. Emity docks- DAY

A crowd starts to gather excitedly. Roy walks over to a fisherman.

(Roy)

What’s all the commotion?

(Fisherman)

We caught the sharks

(Roy)

Sharks? As in more than one?

(Fisherman)

Yeah, i caught one, Ben caught one. So on and so forth.

(Roy)

Well congrats.

Roy and the fisherman shake hands as a photographer takes a picture.

(Hooper)

Roy, that’s not the shark.

(Fisherman)

What do you mean that’s not the shark. Look at the thing, it’s vicious.

(Hooper)

Its bite radius is too small for one.

(Fisherman)

Yeah, and?

(Hooper)

And it’s a dolphin.

(Fisherman)

A WHAAAT?

Above: How it could have looked if AI had existed in 2007. – couple years after we wrote it. Fisherman wasn’t supposed to look like Robert Shaw though.

Fun fact. The original shark we had in mind was a giant dildo that we put a WW2 dive bomber face on.

Also a fun fact, the original unwritten ending was going to be the Trex from Jurassic Park randomly eating the shark, making fun of Jurassic Parks deus ex machina ending.

Very glad my late teenage version of myself never got the chance to make this. Not quite cringe, but goddamn!

No doubt Jaws is a Great movie and possibly the only near perfect movie to ever get made. Hope to see it turn 60, too. Here’s to swimin with Bo legged woman. 🍻