INTRODUCTION: So I’ve never played the video games. I know very little about this series. My brother has played them and my sister played at least one, so that’s the extent of my knowledge of Five Nights At Freddy’s.I think that makes me the perfect guy to review this movie, since I have no vested interest in this franchise. So how was it?

PLOT: a security guard loses his mall job, to be hired to watch over a wish.com Chuckie Cheeses’, where there is more than just repurposed pizza to worry about.

CHARACTERS: Not bad. They took some care to develop the characters. I can’t say you care by the end, but you could be open to more of them in a sequel.

ACTING: Very good. No one is winning awards here, but they are all solid.

DIALOGUE: Good, nothing cringe

VISUALS: Excellent

FX: Very good.

MUSIC: Catchy, but not very memorable.

CONCLUSION: This movie does tension in a retro way and does it very well. Too bad the tension builds towards nothing of value in terms of scares. It’s hard to figure out the tone of the movie, given some times it’s comical, which I’m sure is unintentional, given the scene that produced it. Other times it seems like a family drama. It kinda lacks an identity and kinda success at both, whilst failing miserably. It’s not horrible, but it leaves more questions than answers. The big bad reveal fizzles like a scooby do ending. They don’t even really set up a sequel. Maybe I’m just to fuckin stupid to get what they are trying to achieve. The biggest takeaway was a couple of random Saw references. Maybe a sequel would do it justice.

2.5/5