INTRODUCTION: So I never see these films until today, during a fuckin heatwave and to be honest, I’m pretty sure the hundred degree heat was better than either of these fuckin flicks.

PLOT: The 1970s delivered a movie so awesome, called Jaws and it took nearly 50 years for someone to want to make a completely different shark movie and make a sequel to it.

CHARACTERS: Not developed well. This was just a reason to cast Jason Stratham as a badaas for like the millionth time. Like we need another Jason lead action flick? Well, we did, but not this one.

ACTING: Acadmy award winning! How these mutha fuckers made it through this movie straight faced is beyond me. Someone pay these muthas scale+20 million, please.

DIALOGUE: it ain’t cringe, but it ain’t anything likeable either.

FX: Worsa den de Jar jar Binks! Is that fuckin shark even go scale? It looks worse than Jaws! Seriously, fuck this series.

CONCLUSION: I have no clue what the fuck was going on in either of these movies. Why they needed to happen or why they felt a need to sequelize it. All I know is that I’m glad I waited to watch them and didn’t see them when they were new.