All posts by Kage

Top 10 Reasons for Sex with Friends.

     a new study suggest a link between friendship and similar genetics. This isn’t actually new or out of the realm of plausibility. If you do a search for the major histocompatibility complex, you find that our mates often have dissimilar traits to us than our relatives do. In fact, similar genetics tend to be akin to incest and inbreeding is bad for the species as a whole.

     That said, if your friends are not the equivalent of fourth cousins, here are 10 reasons why having sex with your friends is beneficial to you.

     1. SEX HAS BENEFITS.

     If you’ve lived under the rock for the last several years, you’re bound to find a plethora of information disseminating scientific facts showing a correlation between sexual intercourse and health benefits. Some studies have shown reduced risk of blood pressure, mental health benefits and even keeps the immune system healthy. In other words, sex is natural medication for a lot of health problems that currently plague our society. That said, I wouldn’t skip the annual checkup, no matter how much sex you have.

     2. NO STRESS SEX.

     Not everyone is a social rock star. In fact, given the wide use of social media and smart phones, it’s a wonder anyone is able to socialize. In fact, people seem to be getting worse with live interactions. If you’re a social type, you’re in luck, because for everyone one man that isn’t out there scouting, that is one extra chance for you for find someone.
We’re comfortable with friends. They’re familiar, they know us and we can let our guard down. The benefit is better sex, without the weirdness. Ladies, who else has seen you with your hair up and without the make up on? Perhaps that guy in the friend zone is a sexual savant.

     3. MORE FUN FOR HALF THE COST

     If you’ve never read Richard Dawkins, The Selfish Gene, you should. It’s an incredible book that continues to hold up. One of the hallmarks of an excellent book, mind you.
Within its pages, you’ll find a breakdown of what is called cost-benefit analysis. In other words, you exert energy for each daily task you do. It only makes sense that they should have a benefit, then, right? Well, with work, school, friends and family, sometimes self-neglect is bound to happen. Why not allow for the stress relief you deserve, just because you’re not in the mood to go out for the night? Call a friend for those times when you absolutely, positively, need to orgasm.

     4. LET YOUR FREAK FLAG, FLY.

     Do you have a fetish that isn’t quite common? Afraid to ask the woman or guy you like, due to rejection, humiliation or judgment? Chances are you already discussed it with your friends and they don’t mind. They know how crazy you are and love you all the same. If they didn’t know, they wouldn’t be your friends. So why not experiment with those closest to you?

     5. THE HOUSE ALWAYS WINS.

     Keeping sex to an intimate circle of friends is a great way to prevent the spread of sexually transmitted infection. In fact, keeping it in house could keep you safer than meeting a stranger. Your friends care about you and vice versa, as such, they’re bound to be more open to keeping you and everyone involved, safe. This occurs, usually, in open relationships were you wouldn’t want to expose your loved one to any potential hazards. Face it, its human nature to care about those closest to you, over complete strangers. Now it benefits your sex life.

     6. Uppers, not downers.

     Friends are supportive of one another, or they should be. If you’re lucky enough to have supportive friends, you’ll be glad to know it boost yourself esteem. Isn’t it nice to get a self-esteem boost from people we care about over those we don’t? You can learn a lot about a person by the company they keep and sex is no different. Instead of getting boosted by the act of sex, you’re boosted by the friend instead and that is worth more than a night with any stranger will give you. In other words, supportive friends will always be supportive and not just to slip into your pants.

     7. R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

     True friends have a great respect for one another and with that comes giving yourself completely. It also means someone who will respect your limits and not force you into uncomfortable moments. When someone respects you as a person, instead of a notch on their belt, it’s a great thing and rare to find. Too many people have less respect for people than they should. While admiration and other types of respect are earned, basic human respect should never be.

     8. KNOWLEDGE IS POWER.

     Getting to know someone is a lot of work. It can take months, even years to learn all their ins and outs. Better put in the Lord of the Rings, You can learn all there is to know about their ways in a month and after a hundred years, they can still surprise you.
Isn’t it nice to know someone so well, they can surprise you in a pinch by giving you exactly what you desire? It’s almost like a psychic bond between two people, they don’t need words, and you both could express each others thoughts, non-verbally. What more could you ask for in a friend, let alone a sexual partner?

     9. KNOWING YOUR LIMITS.

     Much like respecting you enough to know what not to do, or knowing you well enough to be intuitive, we get knowing your limits. We all have different sex drives, buttons and things that make us tick. It’s these little idiosyncrasies that make us, well, us. Does the guy at the bar know when to quit because you couldn’t quite handle it? Does he make sure you’re OK during the sex? A good partner should know how to take you to your limit without driving you past it or is able to push it past that, safely. You know your friends know how to push your buttons and then pull back, it’s what they do best. It can also apply to sex to make it even better.

     10. NO FEAR

     Your friends are friends for a reason. They like you as you are and they don’t care how you look. With that comes things you won’t get from the guy you hook up with. Cuddling for instance is something few men still understand is a great way to enhance your girl’s sexual pleasure after the fun time ends. Friends can do what most men fear to try, intimacy. They know all your secrets, so make sure to hold them close as they do your darkest fears and desires. Who knows, perhaps you might even fall in love with the least likeliest of candidates, your best friend

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*Minor edits and added a link.

Epic Jalapenos Poppers

     So, I wish I could take credit for these, because they were awesome, but I cannot. My sister made these and I’m sharing them right here.

     Epic Jalapenos Poppers (Yields as many as you can make.)

     1. Take Jalapenos and slice top down. Making wedge shaped halves.

     2. In bowl, mix Cream Cheese and a sprinkle cheese(Your choice.)

     3. Wrap the Jalapenos in Pillsbury Croissant dough

     4. Deep fry until golden brown and soft.

     Enjoy.

The Art of Trolling and Motocycle Matinence.

     Trolling is an ancient art, passed on from Leet (1337 for the layman.) forum user to Leet forum user for eons, or circa 1997 A.D. whichever way you want to see it, it’s been around for a while and will not go away.

     You’ve most likely seen the occasional celebrity or others bitching about them, but they provide a valuable service. In fact, saying “troll” is just an ignorant way for a person to shield themselves from intellectual responsibility. If you understood the fine art of trolling, then you would realize that you’re also a troll.

     Anyone with any internet presence, what so ever, is a troll. Simply put, trolling is either a comedic act or arguing. Let us, for the sake of argument, assume that trolling is simply pointing out the flaws in a person’s argument or engaging someone in lively debate.

     Said person has the balls to stand up to someone and assert that the person is wrong. Perhaps, more harsh than the mark (to use a wrestling term.)would like. Simply saying “LOL, you sux” Or “I hope you die of cancer” is not trolling. They are simply, assholes. Regardless of how someone has gone about pointing out that you’re wrong, you shouldn’t be obstinate in thinking you’re 100% right.

     The catch is, though, that not every person has the time, nor should be required to shift through hundreds and hundreds of tweets, post, e-mails or other digital data. How does one rectify this? Harsh language, use of special characters (Leet-speek) or some other form of communicative pea cocking. In other words, much like a peacock uses its bright tail to attract a mate, so too does it attract predators.

     When you send something out to into the world, say a thought or argument, a point of view or even just musings, expect to invite replies, retorts, counter arguments, fatuous statements and even the vulgar comments. You are not the U.S.S. Enterprise with Sulu driving you away from danger, you’re Han Solo with C-3PO giving you the odds of navigating an asteroid field, successfully. In other words, you open yourself up to whatever your post merits.

     Now, while calling you an idiot (Layman) for lacking that technical knowledge or special knowledge about something, isn’t the best way for giving criticism or expressing that your point is wrong, it is a way to get the intended point across.

     The first thing we need to do is stop trolling were it starts, celebrities. You know the old saying “Any press is good press?” That is exactly what trolling is. Any bit of notice is good notice. Oh, sure, you might lose your show or two, but your short term loss will be long term gains, when the ire of the consumers dies down and then it’s back to business as usual. Just look at R.Kelly and others to see what an apology can do. In other words, lead by example if you want what trolling has become to evolve. Everyone, celebrity or not, could afford to reign in their trolling for the better.

     Arguing on the internet, it was once said, is like winning the Special Olympics. Even if you win, you’re still retarded. Arguing is a brilliant form of communication that is intended to change people’s views by pointing out flaws in reasoning, logic or ill-gotten facts. To argue is actually a politeness. It expresses concern for the intellectual welfare of our species. To allow you to go off half-cocked is funnier, but degrading. Tougher love, so to speak. In other words, be happy that someone is willing to help you see what is wrong, so that your mental space is less cluttered with rubbish.

     Arguing on the internet is spontaneous, instant, engaging and fun. These pros often lead to negative cons that we’ve all been guilty of more often than not and should be wary of in the future. Here is Kage’s rules for optimum trolling.

     1.Define what it is you’re expressing. Few words have one definition and as such, we all have a preconceived concept in our head as to what we think it is that we’re arguing about. If it’s about capitalism, define what it means. There are a number of things that capitalism could mean to anyone. It helps to express it to the best of your ability. Make sure no one can misunderstand you.

     2.Avoid pea cocking your reply. It will get noticed, sure, but it won’t change things. A concise and to the point retort is worth more than the 146 characters you’ll use to express such.

     3.Think before you send anything. Are you expressing yourself as eloquently as possible? Where are you wrong? Are your arguments solid? Are you expressing fact or opinion? There is room for all, but make sure each is defined. Such as, all these rules are merely guidelines based off my experiences and in my opinion, will suit you well in engaging people in person or online debate.

     4.Do not jump the gun and attack. You need to understand your potential opponents position, in order to better counter the argument and

     5.Never be afraid to agree with someone or point out were a person is right. Few people are rarely 100% wrong. Sometimes they get things half right, but not entirely. If they’re right on something, say so.

     6.Humor will cement ideas and diffuse a situation that might otherwise be a tad bit tense. No one likes to be wrong, but we sometimes are and that is OK. Most people have a sense of humor and to use it when needed will allow for more enjoyment in your debate.

     Keep these in mind when trolling the internet and you’ll have a much better go at it, as well as argue more efficiently than you would have otherwise and might even change some minds. If you cannot change the mind of someone who is wrong through thoughtful and humorous discourse, than they will most likely never budge. Even if the intended mark doesn’t agree or get it, you might have changed the minds of any lurkers reading the conversation.

     If you’re one of those lurkers, please express such, if you happen to change your tune and never be afraid to share anything that has opened your eyes or mind.
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*Edited to remove slight errors

http://www.raventest.net/

IQ

      I’ve had reason to suspect this website was a fraud for a while and I decided that I cannot allow such to go unnoticed, thus, I bit the bullet and rest assured, I got my evidence. Finally, I’ll be able to do something about it. I want everyone to read this and know to protect themselves.

       Here is screen capped evidence that such is meant to only take your money. You have to remember somethings about websites and buys:

       1. You cannot go by the look of a site. It can look like complete shit and be gold, but it could also be nice and a scam. Here we have the low scale look and the high-scale scam.

       2. Anyone can obviously put a fake “Verified” sign on

       3. When in doubt, look around the net. Nothing is better than personal reviews and as I said, I want to protect people from being screwed over. Here now, I present the evidence. Sure as such, my I.Q. is 25 for having to buy into this to protect people from such horrible websites. Notice how the thing is full of contradictions? How can one be successful in life, but still be mentally challenged? At the very least, it implies I’ll be as famous as Paris Hilton, but I’d rather not.

      So if you come across this site, stay away. I’ve done the work, so you do not have to and now you know the truth.

       I advise looking for a brick and motor type of place, so to speak, in order to find the best I.Q. test available. Not that you’ll need one, but since I like to challenge myself and attempt these things, occasionally, to find holes within them, I did this one.

1/2 Star out of 5.

      Be on the look out for this e-mail address as well. Iqscale@yahoo.com

Life’s a Bitch and then you Die.

     “Life’s a bitch and then you die” says one Massachusetts doctor. Asking to remain anonymous, Doctor X has been studying the effects of life on humans for over twenty-five years now. “We’ve discovered that you start to die the minute you’re born.” he said, adding “and it sucks until then.”

     For such a bleak prognosis, surely there must be a cure. According to Dr. X, no cure is in sight. He explained “We’ve been looking for a cure for years. Life has a 100% mortality rate. You’re going to die and possibly sooner than you think.”

     Dr. X explained to this reporter that this need not be something to worry about. “Lots of people die, every day. The trick is to live before that happens.” he added. A tall order for some people, he knows, but when Asked about what people could do to make their life less of a bitch, all Doctor X had to say was “I find drugs help.”

     I inquired as to what type of drugs he has prescribed to patients in the past. “All of them.” he said. “Do as many drugs as humanly possible. I mean, odds are good that you’ll die tomorrow, so what the hell, right?” When asked if there was anything else he would like people to know, he said “Fuck and fuck often” Quickly adding “While on drugs.”

A Chance I didn’t Take.

Writer’s Note* Wrote this as a school assignment when I was 22. Kind of old, but those who read it, enjoy it.

———

     There once was a chance I didn’t take. It was, oh, so long ago now. I was twenty-two and fresh out of college, when I met this beautiful woman, by the name of Allison. Allison was ten years my senior, but that didn’t matter to me. She had gorgeous ruby red lips, which resembled a fresh apple that commanded you sink your teeth into it. Her long auburn hair, which smelled of watermelon, and contrasted with her baby blue eyes, and had long sweet natural waves, that washed over her head like the sea against the beach on a clear, moonlight night. She had a little tattoo on her forearm, which was classy, more so than trashy. She could be the envy of any woman that might have had the misfortune to stand next to her.

     We met one night, after work, at the local bar. I all ready had a couple of drinks in me, and I was a bit tipsy. Thats’ when I turned around on the bar stool and saw her. I don’t know weather it was the alcohol or what, but I swear she had one of those slow motion entrances you only see in the movies. I fell out of my seat in front of her. She giggled and in a soft, tender voice, asked if I was all right. I pulled myself up, dusted off and said.”I’m fine” She gazed at me with a seductive look and said “You definitely are.” Now, I’m never one to be so bold, even when liquid courage is coursing its way through my veins, but in a low voice I managed to ask “Would you care to get out of here?” She said she would, then whispered in my ear. I grew excited and we left.

     Since I was all ready near inebriation, we took her car and headed to the local liquor store. I went in and grabbed the cheapest wine with the most expensive sounding name, so I could impress her and not break my wallet at the same time. I quickly paid for the wine and made a mad dash for the car. Allison peeled out of      the parking lot and we sped to the local park. Thankfully, no one was around, so we laid out a blanket she had in her trunk and shared the wine straight from the bottle. By this time I was fully smashed and ballsy to boot, so I kissed her. We proceeded to make out like two teenagers. But it must of been a mixture of the adrenaline and the booze, because I don’t remember what happened after that.

     I awoke the next morning in my bed, with a throbbing headache. My vision was slightly blurred, but I could still make out that the clock said 9:00 am. Being late for work, I had no time to change or shower, so I just went in with what I had on. As I entered work, my supervisor looked at me and said “Wild night, huh?” It must have been the smell of booze wafting off me, along with the ruffed up look of my clothes that tipped him off. I nodded to him, my head hurt to bad to speak.”Be sure to tell me all about it at lunch” he said. I nodded again in agreement and he went off on his way.

     The rest of the day went by slow. At about eleven, I was finishing off paper work at my desk, when I reached into my pocket to find a folded piece of paper. It was a note from Alison, which read “Call me tonight” and had her phone number on it. I quickly flipped open my cell phone and started to dial when I was interrupted by a delivery guy. He placed a package on my desk and handed me a clip board to sign. Thats when I noticed the tattoo on his forearm. The same koi fish. It looked to be the same tattoo Alison had. I was going to pass it off as mere coincidence, but curiosity got the best of me. As the delivery guy left, I punched in Alison’s number and hit send. At that same moment, the delivery guy answered his cell and a man’s voice answered on mine. I quickly hung up as fast as I could. Maybe it was a coincidence, but that was a chance I wasn’t going to take.