Category Archives: Uncategorized

Dickoloden

While I do not intend on necessarily using this name as a finished project, the other title is “Stickaloadein” or Stick a Lode In. I thought this might make for an interesting idea to converse about.

So essentially this is a fun project that will be one of many parodies and one I think has a market for. The 90’s have been making a huge cum back and now we can re-imagine our favorite old shows, but with a XXX bent.

This will be a DVD project, as opposed to multiple stand alone parodies, because I think that one of the many issues of porn parodies is that they are often too long and have a lot of filler that is just not needed for you to enjoy.

For instance of Klarrisa Does it all parody. No one wants to see Ferguson banging anyone. It’s Sam & Klarrisa that everyone wanted to see bang, from the second that ladder hit her window. Let’s be honest, Ferguson would of been outside his sister’s window, jacking his tiny penis and moaning Donald Trump’s name.

I plan on finding and paying performers who have never done porn before, as opposed to hiring traditional artist. The high number reflects the fact that I desire to actually make this seem as close to the originals, right down to set design as I can without going over budget.

Given the fact there have been tons of parodies out their, coupled with the nostalgia for the 1990’s, this seems like an idea ripe for the picking.

What do you think of the idea?

Please feel free to comment and suggest things about the Indiegogo campaign.

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/dickoloden–2/x/13473227#/

Is Darth Vader Alive?

“There has been an awaking in the force, have you felt it?”-Snoke

So, there is a fan theory going around about Snoke in Star Wars: The Force Awakens, being Darth Vader/Anakin. While a lot of people think that it is a good idea, they have spent time pointing out holes in this theory.

This is an interesting concept and while I do not know of the original source of the idea to credit, I can say that it is actually plausible if you keep these key ideas in mind, regarding the story.

“He ceased to be Anakin Skywalker and became known as Darth Vader.”-Obi Wan

This quote right here separates Anakin from Darth Vader, giving this idea the hypothesis we need to have it make sense. The idea that Anakin and Darth Vader are separate characters. While I cannot say this is the most likely idea to happen within the next two episodes, it does all make logical sense.

George Lucas is a student of mythology, keeping very close to the basic structure of ancient mythology. There is an old Native American parable, about two wolves fighting and the one that grows is the one you feed. This thread is strewen throughout the entire seven films of the Saga. So it very much keeps to the same theme. Right now, we have Kylo with his struggle of being both good and bad, unsure which side to keep going down. This duality in human nature is present in us all.

In order for the concept to make sense, Anakin’s deeds, which were horrible, ended up creating two different entities. Darth Vader and Anakin Skywalker, as referenced by the quote above. Perhaps his suit was tainted with the essence of the horrible deeds, once he descended towards the dark side or maybe the split in them came from a different source, but regardless, it is still plausible for this to hold true. Darth Vader would be Snoke, not Anakin. Anakin, being redeemed at the end, would then become a good force ghost. Thus, Anakin fulfils the prophecy of bring balance to the force. Whereas before, the only two ways for Anakin to have brought balance to the force would have been to have died or never been found and trained, this allows for a much different story than what we have come to know from the prequels and original trilogy. Vader would now be his own character and so would Anakin, thus bringing balance to the force by existing on both sides, rather than tilting the balance towards whichever side he is serving, truly fulfilling his destiny within the Star Wars Universe.

While it is too early to say if this is where the story is going, we do know that we are going to see a reverse character arc at the very least, within the next two movies of the main cannon. They already attached Rian Johnson, who is known for reverse character arcs with Breaking Bad. So it isn’t impossible, although not 100% likely.

Star Wars:The Story Awakens (Spoliers for Episode Seven)

What if I told you that the Empire in Star Wars, is, has and always will be the good guys of the saga?

Staring in the prequel trilogy, we are thrown into a theocracy, that we’re to believe is the good guys. In this universe, they are referred to as Jedi. These Jedi are not a normal police department, they are the rulers, due to there exceptional powers. They have their own establishment that is separate from the normal political process, but they undoubtly have major influence. On top of that, they have the ability to manipulate politicians with a gesture, in order to ensure the greater good is attained. What is the greater good? Balance and the now state sponsored religion.

The balance is simply and illusion and non-existent, as Anakin is said to bring balance to the force. Yet, Anakin living can never truly bring balance to the force. The Jedi were secretly all about power and control. They would find children, calling them force sensitives and train them to be part of this ever growing super team. What type of good guys willing go in search of children to take? Imagine the Catholic Church taking children now a day because they would fit well amongst there flock. People, even the religious, would probably be pretty upset, but the Jedi do this in the Star Wars Universe and we’re supposed to willing accept this as positive? Seems absurd to me.

The need for these children is because the Jedi believe that you’re too old to begin training after a certain age. In other words, you’re no longer impressionable to groom to their way of thinking. This is pedophilic in nature!

Anakin was taken at 10 years old, from his slave life on Tattonie and thrown into another form of slavery, protecting and serving those around him. Doesn’t seem like a much better life, but the biggest concern with Anakin is not the child’s life, but instead, how we help the Jedi matain this balance. The reality is, Anakin was considered so powerful that the only way for him to have brought balance to the force would be to have died or not been trained in the first place. Yet the Jedi were selfish and couldn’t risk the “Dark Side” getting to Anakin first and bringing him down a Dark Path. The Sith, for all their faults, never harmed children or took children to groom to their mindset. It wasn’t until Episode three that the Sith finally harmed children, with Anakin tasked to kill the Jedi. Yet, he was never ordered to kill the younglings, he did that of his own volition, left over remnants of the conflict within him dealing from his Jedi Training, were kids lives do not matter.

By the end of episode three, we are left with the Sith having over thrown the republic and theocracy that plagued their world. No longer did that Jedi have full control of anything and for once, it was relatively balanced. A two to one ratio, “Dark” side to “Good.”

When we begin episode four, we are trust into a chase to find Princess Leia, born during the demise of a anti-child theocracy with a twin brother, Luke. Both were left to others to be raised and groomed with how much better the republic was, with truth about the Sith and Jedi being hidden from them. Here she is treasonous, for attempting to over throw, what she considered a fascist dictatorship. She has no facts as to the old way or how the republic was doing things, she just knows the empire is to be destroyed. So she sets about attempting to get the plans to the Death Star to her treasonous friends, in an attempt to overthrow the peace and balance that has come to exist in this world. The Empire has created half a dozen jobs, structured the universe, has created a weapon that will keep rouge, treasonous systems from overthrowing the peace, with no intent to use it, until Aldeern, a system harboring terrorist within the Rebel Alliance! All the while, the Emperor has keep his word and even adhered to his own rules, by keeping the Sith to just a master and an apprentice. This is a secular government that was very inclusive of those with differences. The republic was much more exclusive than the Empire ever was. Remember the scene of hiring the bounty hunters in The Empire Strikes Back? How many different species were present? The Jedi Council only truly listened to two of its members, Mace Windu and Yoda. A very exclusive point of view.

Obi-Wan, one of the last members of the old theocracy, intentionally lies to Luke the entire time, to attempt to bring about the extinction of a more modern society, because he’s racist and an alcoholic. He would punish Anakin for disobeying the rules of the Jedi, but oh, he wanted a drink at the bar, he could. He was a hypocrite, just like the rest of the Jedi. Would you have continued to obey? Most people would of seen the inner conflict as conscious coming to light about who were truly the bad guys in the universe, and it was not the Sith.

By the end of Return of the Jedi, the Empire was betrayed by Anakin, destroying everything. He’s now a hero to the Rebellion.

Now we get to The Force Awakens, Kylo Ren, who was dumped on Luke by Han Solo to be raised, started to exhibit similar conflict. He knew deep down the light side was the wrong side, especially when none of them could even be bothered to raise their children, thrusting the responsibility onto others. This continues the legacy of anti-child sentiment that was present in the old republic, were kids are second class citizens, ordered to obey and be forgotten about. The old republic was truly a society bent on grooming children, if this wasn’t established by the end of the original six films, it is established now.

Kylo worships Darth Vader, because Vader represents all the good in the universe, all that was right, an inclusive order or structure and prosperity that was brought about. Deep at its core, this is a story that mirrors our own world, where the Boomer generation has destroyed our democracy with their absurd ways and a millennial desire to bring about our world to the 1990’s, but failing to do so. Yet, I digress.

Kylo is all that stand between an establishment of the old and a creation of the new order, brining us back to peace within the universe. Yet, this is not what will happen at all! Kylo new that Vader was seduced by the dark side of the force, the rebellion and he will not allow that to happen to himself, but we might find out that is not the case, as he is conflicted with what is or isn’t right. He cannot make up his mind, unsure who to believe, and having to work it out for himself.

By the beginning of Episode Eight, we shall start to see a decent, in my opinion, towards the truly evil, that of the Republic. Luke will be responsible for training Rey, who will find understanding that she is supporting the wrong side, with a duel swap between Rey turning to the side of the Empire and Kylo joining the Rebellion. Rey will attempt to lead the universe to a higher understanding, while Kylo will still be too busy destroying things.

I expect this whole new trilogy to be all about reverse character arcs, as they signed the writer of Breaking Bad to write and direct Episode Eight and Breaking Bad was known for good guys go bad, when pushed. While it’s too early to be sure, the clues are already planted within this new movie. Proving, once again, that evil is just a matter of perspective, apparently, as opposed to any true objective criteria for such atrocity!

Star Wars Ep. VII review

Episode seven was a massive let down. This is not the fault of the George Lucas, Disney or even J.J. Abrams, this is the fault of fanboys!

Yes, you Jar Jar hating, fat and underweight losers that are overly entitled to another person’s story. This is on you!You hated the prequels so much, George Lucas sold the franchise and now we are stuck with a movie that isn’t Star Wars, it’s a fanboy’s crappy youtube video!This is not the sequel we’re looking for, in fact, it is worse than Lucas’ prequel trilogy!I may not have liked Jar Jar or a lot of Episodes 1-3, but what we have here is nothing short of disappointment.

What starts off as a Star Was flick, with the opening crawl about the search for Luke Skywalker, and the traditional pan down to the planet from the stars, quickly becomes a very lackluster movie!
The dialogue is still horrible, so J.J. did a great homage, there. The character development is weak and mostly non-existent. Finn is without a doubt one of the more interesting characters in the film, along with Poe Dameron. Kylo Ren is the worse villain of all the films, with only General Grievous being about even with him. He is a cookie cutter Anakin wannabe!

The story is weak and does not flow well at all, it really is missing it in all the wrong spots, as well as leaving so many questions unanswered.

The Movie couldn’t decide if it wanted to be A New Hope or The Empire Strikes Back and leans more towards Attack of the Clones. It is stylistically on par with the Special Editions.

The fights are very Star Wars and felt right, but that is about all that was very Star Wars to me, with the exception of Harrison Ford not missing a beat, playing Han Solo. Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher might as well not have been cast in the first place, as their roles were so paltry, that if you blinked, you missed it. Tad bit of an exaggeration, but not by much!We also only get one light saber battle in the entire movie and it was very weak.

This is not the way to start a new trilogy and it makes a poor bridge from Return of the Jedi.

Overall, I rather not even acknowledge this movie was made. When it comes to episode eight, I have a bad feeling about it, and do not have optimistic hopes for the franchises future, if this is the best that Disney can do!

Of course, people will still see it in droves, but this movie has made me renounce the franchise for good. Four sub-par films is more than enough and I will be joining George Lucas in divorcing myself from the series.

It was fun while it lasted, but now we need to movie on. We’ll always have 1977-1983 as the prime years of love, but you’re no longer the movie I married.

Breaking News:Ronald Regan Declares War on ISIS

AP-Washington

In a move that is shocking to most of the nation, since we’re so close to Christmas, Ronald Regan has declared war on ISIS from a brief televised interview at The White House.
Ronald Regan stood in front of reporters and stated “Mr. Goatatov, tear down that wall.” Referencing a figurative wall between the US and Middle East Relations that has been impeding US progress for years. “We need to be more vigilant in protecting our fine nations from terrorist and doing more, which why I have declared war on ISIS”

Ronald Regan closing out his speech, giving our troops a pep talk by quoting the movie “The Rock” with “Your “best”! Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen.”

It should be noted that Ronald Regan has been dead for the last 11 years. We will update this story as more develops.

Bernie Sanders

Bernie Sanders
Sung to the Captain Planet theme.
Lyrics re-imagined by Kage

Fraud!
Unemployment!
Living Wage!
Climate Change!
Heart!

Go Sanders!

By your votes combined I am President Sanders!

President Sanders, he’s a hero,
Gonna take Republicans down to zero,
He’s your power, magnified.
And he’s fighting on the socialist side

President Sanders, he’s a hero,
Gonna take rich people down to zero,
Gonna help him put asunder,
On bad guys who like to Jeb and Carson.

“You’ll pay for this Bernie Sanders!”-Donald Trump

(chanting)
We’re the SOCIALIST,
You can be one too!
‘Cause saving our democracy is the thing to do,
Lobbying and Jerrymandering is not the way,
Hear what Bernie Sanders has to say:

“THE POWER IS YOURS!!”

Update

Where have I been?
I haven’t written much or did much of anything really for my business in a while. I took a slight fork in the road, spending time in my non-hometown helping to fight for justice regarding sexual abuse victims.
This took me away for far too long and while I am glad to have helped, I wish I didn’t have to do it at the expense of my business. I am now back full time to doing this blog and I have a whole host of things instore.

What is coming?
More blogs, finishing my novel, podcast dealing with my sexual adventures, a magazine, a movie and quite a few other things. I think my audience will be impressed with what I will be offering going into 2016.

Where can I get updates?

Check right back here on the blog for updates or visit myself on Twitter @bestinyourgirl. I have deleted my personal facebook account for the time being and I have been happy by doing it. Not many people were engaged to my brand on Facebook, so it made sense to not bother with it much for the time being.

Thanks for sticking around with Bestinyourgirl.com

SINcerely,
Kage!

MonoBlack Control in Modern. 1.1

MBCMod

I’ve been working on this deck for about a year now. It is mono black control, done cheap and brutal. The trick is to rip apart the win-cons of other decks as fast as possible, leaving them nothing to beat you with. It works against any deck that isn’t packing Leyline of Sanctity. It is fun and cheap.

:(

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Xavier Kage-WWE Universe.

I’m glad I can finally tell everyone on here, before the internet ruins the surprise. Yes it is true, oh it’s damn true. I’m signed with WWE.

https://www.facebook.com/kagewweuniverse

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