Category Archives: Writing

How I Exposed Fake News

Click Here to read the press release

So I wrote for a fake company called The Kitchen LLC. It was promoted as a progressive restaurant, that would hire men only, just to cater to woman. Obviously this is satire and I was doing it as an experiment. It didn’t actually take much exchange and below you can see how easy it was, with so little vetting. Me-Sa Ginny is made to sound like misogyny and BachDish is a play on the German phrase, Buck Dish or Bend Over as it is translated! So obvious troll is obvious, right?

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It actually got printed on the front page of the Journal Tribune here in Biddeford, Maine.

It gets even better! Instead of redact with a small print block on page 4 as these types are apt to do, they fake an entire news article to save face.

jtlies

If you refer to picture, the last time they emailed me was 1/3 2018 and I did not reply back. You see the article still went to print!

So what’s a young man to do when he stumbles across a new organization that writes fictional news? He takes it to the media to expose it and this is what happens!

While I did get a few inquires, no one wanted to print it, except for one but due to a conflict of interest, the fact a parent company owns both, they could not. So I am bringing it here and showing the world how the Journal Tribune, a small time newspaper, fakes the news and why they do it!

As of now, they have deleted both and replaced the fake news with a small redaction in place of the fake news article, with them giving themselves too much credit for their “Due Diligence”, which, had they had such, it never would of gone to print in the first place and the only reason they knew is because I owned up, in an attempt to show the world the depravity of that brand!

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Slight Edits and Correction to the text: January 15th, 2018

Dare to Be Stupid

     Ultimately, we’re a social species and our main goal is almost always winning people over, no matter the area. The most major fear of not attempting to engage yourself in a favorite pastime is rejection. People don’t like to be rejected, for most people, it hurts, but for me, I thrive on rejection when it is combined with an understanding as to why I was. I love honestly and while I don’t need feedback, I am quite able to improve myself with no help, not everyone is like me.

     There is nothing wrong with rejection in and of itself. Criticism should never be dismissed as “Hater’s gon hate!” when we might be able to gleam an insight into how we might improve ourselves on a daily basis, provided say criticism has merit. Its way too easy to say “You suck!” and get a plethora of up votes or views on Youtube, retweet on Twitter or like’s on Facebook. These people are considered trolls, but sadly troll is thrust upon any level of criticism that doesn’t jibe with what the receiver desires. Just like no one likes to be rejected, no one likes to be intellectually refuted either and the stubborn are excessively likely to cling to their abject delusions in the face of evidence, valid argument or anything that pops that bubble they live in.

     I think the best way to live is to court failure and rejection like it’s the high school prom queen. Crave it, desire it and make it your bitch. Don’t be subjected to being its slave by being fearful of it. The best way to get over rejection? Find the rejection of that which you fear most and kick that fear in the teeth. Say you had a crush on a celebrity when you were a kid. You’re almost certainly going to be rejected by the person. How does that impact your value though? It doesn’t impact your value and it sure as hell isn’t bad for you. Maybe your ego takes a hit, but big deal. I want anyone reading this to go out and intentionally get rejected by the thing you want most. Be it a job, a person, or otherwise. Once you have had the worst level of rejection you could experience, everything else is a cake walk. You should never fear rejection again after such a loss, nor should you take anything overly personal again. Nothing could possibly be worse than rejection from that which you crave most and it never means you couldn’t attempt it again later on.

     How many people get fired from WWE only to find themselves back again? Don’t you think that the foremost wrestling company rejecting you, if you grew up watching their product, would sting? In some cases yes in other cases, maybe not. Why care what someone else thinks of you? Improve, and keep improving. Don’t just try to be the best, actually be the best. Study what works and why it works. Be it dating, a job or otherwise. Nothing is holding you back. Just remind yourself about my favorite saying, “any idiot can do this.” Well, I’m any idiot and so are you! To borrow from Weird AL, “Dare to be stupid.”

     When you dare to be stupid and have no fucks to give about rejection or anything else, many doorways will open up to you. Give it a try, because I’m any idiot and you are too, so dare to be stupid, we’re all waiting for you!

Mandatory Welfare

      Here’s an idea that is sure to piss off the Republican Party;I am for mandatory welfare. It’s not for the liberal ideas that one would think. I simply want to keep certain people out of the general populace. Yes, keeping people away from others could be a huge benefit for society as a whole. I like to think of it as social segregation.

      I cannot be the only person to ever walk into a store and hear the clerk bemoan the fact they have to work. I’m sorry that your life is so bad,plus you have to work. My heart bleeds so much for you! I’m not understanding to this, seriously, pushing a button is easy as hell and making a burger is even easier, when all you have to do is put the frozen carcinogenic slathered piece of “meat” under a heat lamp, which sits there for hours on end, until the unsuspecting costumer comes in and desires sustenance so badly, they will eat the food equivalent of an STD.

      Besides the fact that work is super hard for them and life is clearly not worthwhile, there is also the fact that, well, they want 15 dollars an hour to do something much worse than I could do at home. I can burn my own overly antibiotic infused frozen “meat” patty myself and remember that I don’t want cheese on it. People make mistakes, it’s part of life, so I don’t let this part get to me too much, but damn if it doesn’t occur to me when listing off reasons for mandatory welfare.

      When you factor in the above, you start to get an idea for why I’m right about this. I don’t really need more reasons, but you’re going to get them anyways! Allow me to now extrapolate onto the idea that is mandatory welfare.

      Since work is so hard and you cannot be bothered to look at what you just wrote down on order pad or the screen, I am willing to work for you, just to keep you home, until either your disposition improves or you learn to shut up while working, whichever comes first.

      You will make whatever the minimum wage is per year and it will be inflated to adjust for the cost of living, just please stay away from me and others. One of the buyer beware scenarios, when you sign up, you will be given a long term contract, five to ten years, that states that you cannot leave your house. You will be sterilized, fully or temporarily, to prevent breeding and you must Netflix and chill for the duration of the contract. It’s really that simple of a system, basically what we already have going, but improved for the benefit of humans who don’t mind getting things done.

      Now, I can be understanding, since some costumers are pains in the ass, but the location is partially to blame for this. Starbucks for example has too many options. I’m sorry, I thought you wanted coffee, well coffee comes one of two ways, black and tanned. Want sugar, add it yourself. If you have to add twenty sugars to something to make it palpable to your taste, you don’t like the item you’re procuring, you like the sugar. Just eat sugar packets. Here’s an idea, caffeinated sugar. One packet has enough caffeine of an espresso. Snort it like cocaine for all I care, just make be honest that you secretly hate coffee, otherwise you would drink it as is. The second you add half a dozen toppings, it is no longer coffee, rather a desert as Bill Maher has pointed out many times in the past. 1,000 calories is not coffee! I’d rather down a six pack of beer for that many calories, at least it will give me enough of a buzz to make humans tolerable.

      Besides the annual salary, just to leave myself and others alone, you will also be given an allotment of your drug of choice. Yes, you can have it as a signing bonus, once a month, you will get either the biggest bottle of whiskey, beer, bag of weed, bag of cocaine, heroin, whatever you wish, just to make sure you stay tranquil and indoors. You can live with your lover and if you cannot find one, we will help you, since you won’t be breeding anyways.

      I am willing to work two 40 hour a week jobs, just to keep you away from myself and others who cannot stand listening to the rubbish that flies out of your claptrap on a daily basis. It would be a privilege and an honor to not have to be served by you.

      Anything and everything will be provided for you, just so my mental health is kept healthy and I don’t descend into insanity.

      You’re probably wondering how business’ will thrive without a lot of people shopping, well, there’s an app for everything now a days, so you can order food from most places, with your government provided iPhone.

      This is something that the U.S. government needs to consider, because too many people are just stupid, lazy, bitter, jaded and otherwise not worth dealing with. I think you’ll find that life will generally improve for all involved, and mass shootings will actually be reduced. Granted, serial killers and the like will still exist, you cannot help that, but the 1% of murders that happen, is just nature’s way of cleaning the gene pool. So it is a necessary evil, like Richard Dawkins twitter account, or Donald J. Trump being a racist. You just have to deal with it.

      Another name for this is trickle down happiness. Which you may have learned about watching a porn video. I promise you that this will make this planet a much safer, much saner and overall a much better place to live. In fact, I guarantee it! It’s the Oprah of systems, everybody gets something.

      Another benefit of mandatory welfare? Better politicians and choices for president. Now I won’t have to listen to the talking heads on CNN, MSNBC, Fox News and half a dozen other “news” outlets opine about Emperor Palatine Vs Doc Brown being “saner” picks than Hilary Clinton vs Rand Paul. The only people saying this is unfair, are the idiots who would be locked up. The Paul Lepage, the John Boehner and Paul Ryans of the world.

     Heck, most of these jobs are practically welfare anyways. Why make the price of Big Mac go up, when we can just rid the world of the problem which is Bitter, overly entitled workers, who would rather not be there to begin with.

      Early adopters of the program will get healthcare paid for, as well, just to get you away from me faster! No need for a Bernie Sander’s presidency when we can fix the system.

      Mandatory welfare is going to be a thing and the best part, no more hipsters, working in Che Guevara hoodies. Is that not what life is truly about?

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Major Corrections to the text. ( 23 Nov. 2015)

The Luchagors:Review

Luchagors-

     I’m going to stay away from what I did in my last musical review, which, as you may recall linked past to present career paths, and instead look at this from a perspective of a band as if I just found them. I think going this away removes a past bias for the performer in one aspect of their life and creates a far more objective outlook at the present. Although I guess I’m wicked late to reviewing this, though.

     So this is the debut album for a band called The Luchagors. Which, according to the internets is wordplay combination, Lucha Libre and Horror flicks. Right up my alley, as I greatly enjoy both. I haven’t had the chance to see them live, so it is just for the album which you can easily find on Itunes or Amazon.

     The band consist of members: Amy Dumas (Lead vocals), Shane Morton (Guitar and vocals), Jay Hedberg (Bass and vocals.), Racci Shay (Drummer). The latter apparently replaced Troy King on drums.

     Right from the first song titled White Boy, the songs are catchy, fast paced, angst filled with all the good stuff punk music is known for. The theme through most of the lyrics seem consistent through several songs, which are that of a woman scorned. An indictment on an unknown person, most likely an ex, whom seems like a little bitch and a going through the motions of regaining independence of her life and eventually resulting in self-fulfillment of a brighter future.

     Granted that could just be a hell of a lot of inference on absolutely nothing, but you can view the lyrics and judge for yourself.

     The vocals are strong, the music crisp, and the lyrical content is interesting, even if it is somewhat banal for lyrical content. Originality can be overrated, though. You can pick up on many of the bands influences if you know about enough about punk rock. I managed to note and find The Misfits influence and I’m sure many more experienced punk rock listeners will find more.

     The run time is over a half hour long, so you won’t spend too much time having to sit down and really and give much thought to it. Given the edgy sound and style, it still manages to be fun. Which is more than I can say about most edgy bands. Usually they’re dark and brooding. Like back before vampires were twinks who sparkled. I digress and… seriously, fuckin’ sparkle? Never mind.

     If you want something you could speed through, say, shopping or at the gym, this is an interesting and excellent choice. Pick up a copy and you can finally stick it to your hipster friend about how you found and like a new band, but they probably never heard of them. That alone would be worth picking up this gem from 2007, never mind actually enjoying it. Enjoying it would just be a bonus. You could spend $9.99 on far worse, like say, 50 Shades of Grey, or you could listen to something that is at least 25 shades of enjoyable.

     This album gets the fingerofapproval