Category Archives: Writing

Essays, Opinion, retro, Woman, Writing

Clingy Bitches (2008)

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If there is one thing that I have noticed in my time on the internet, its stupid fucking bitches who update their MySpace status, or their away messages with comments like “I miss my man”, “I miss my boo” or “I miss[insert dumb fucking pet name]” News flash, I don’t give a shit. I also bet your man don’t appreciate his girlfriend making him out to look like some pansy ass mother fucker.

You know those woman, the ones whose “man” just pulled out the the drive way and they all ready “miss him” These are the woman that need constant attention from their man, and if they don’t get it, they become depressed and their life is meaningless, because they’re emotionally ruined from past experiences. Maybe their daddy left them when they where young, or they been cheated on. The ones that no man seems to want and when they finally dupe someone to give them a chance, they do whatever they can to keep them. They do everything, from whining to emotional blackmail. They run the gumat on ways to make you stay with them.

Another observation I have noticed about these woman, is that they normally fall into one of the following catorgories. Fat, Ugly, Crazy or Slut, altough not always so. Some, presumably normal, woman can be this way as well, but the majority fit into one of the four above mentioned slots, and sometimes all of them.

When you look at the kinds of people these woman are, it’s no wonder they are this way. Why? Cause they are all insecure and have low self esteem. They will usually like anyone who gives them the time of day and is nice to them.

Another thing to note is these types of woman are usually frequenting “internet dating sites” This isn’t to say all woman on internet dating sites are like this either, quite the contrary, I have met at least one level headed girl in my online journeys who is smart, funny, intelligent and anything but the kind of woman I describe. She knows who she is too.

Now men, if you should ever find yourself in the company of a woman like this, or maybe you are dating one all ready, my advice to you is to run while you still can. Trust me, in the long run you will be much happier.

Woman, if you are like the above mention, KILL YOURSELF! Do the world a favor and just end it all ready, seriously. No one wants you to begin with, and you’re just sad and pathetic by trying to hold on to something, or someone who doesn’t want to be there. Trust me, you will be happier.

For the rest of you who miss your man, but do it normally “I.E.” you don’t feel a need to share it with us, I want you to know that’s OK. Its normal to miss a loved one, but not the way most these woman miss their man.

Now, it should be noted that this diatribe is not an attack on anyone in particular, but rather an attack on a “Sub-Culture” of woman, if you will. It should also be noted that woman are NOT the only ones who can be like this. Men can too, and if you’re a man reading this and are like what I have described, you too should end it now.

Essays, Opinion, retro, Writing

Kiddy Diddlers (2008)

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(This is an old piece from an old blogger account I did under a pen name)

Welcome to yet another installment of “The Diabolical Diatribe”, with your host, the always pissed off and angry William Jillette. Today we will be discussing one of the plagues of society, child molesters.

What is a “Child Molester”? Well, a child molester is a person who engages in any type of sexual activity with a person under the age of consent in their given community, usually one who is pre-pubescent. Typically, for one or more of the following reasons:

1.) He/She is a Pedophile. Meaning that they have a predilection towards being attracted to child who are pre-pubescent.

2.) He/She is looking for a surrogate. Basically these types use the child in place of a, usually preferred, adult sexual outlet.

3.) He/She is Sadistic. These types get off on just being sick fucks and making children suffer.

It’s important to note the difference between a pedophile and a child molester. While molesters can be pedophiles, it is not always the case. The term “Pedophile” was created to group individuals who have a sexual inclination towards children. The pre-pubescent kind.

With that now out of the way, I want to state that this blog will concentrate and attack the third kind of child molester, and that’s the sadistic kind. While all forms of child molesters are sick, I feel these sick mother fuckers deserve the blunt of my attacks, because they tend to be much more perverse and cruel then your typical child molester.

I write this blog for two reasons:

1.) The other day the supreme court ruled that the death penalty was considered “Cruel and unusual punishment…for a crime that did not involve the death of the victim as well”

Read: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080625/ap_on_go_su_co/scotus_child_rape

2.) Because of some asshole who gets off to freaking and tweaking adult victims of molestation because he is a sick fuck and thinks joking about rape is funny.

Why are we protecting child molesters from death because it’s “Cruel and unusual”? Is not what these bastards do to these kids “cruel and unusual” as well? Why is the death penalty so wrong?

Justice is about proper punishment to fit the crime and I can’t see any punishment more fitting for these scum bags. Ok, maybe I’m letting my emotions get the best of me. Maybe the death penalty isn’t needed for all of these scumbags, because after all, seeing a child molester get ass rapped in jail is what I would consider poetic justice. Then again, these are people that like fucking kids, so maybe they like taking it in the ass too.

Maybe we shouldn’t kill every one of them, although the thought had crossed my mind as a very good idea. Let’s go with this one ok.

What if we put them in a giant facility for the rest of their lives where they get to live in comfort and have fun luxuries afford to them all at the expense of the tax payer? What’s that? You would never want to see that happen? Well hate to burst your bubble, but too late. Indeed such a facility exist and is in use. Search for yahoo news should yield the article to back up this statement.

I mean honestly, what better deterrent from committing sex crimes against minors could there be besides death?

Ok, some of you are probably bitching, “Well, what about the first two type of offenders, the non sadistic ones, should they die too?” While killing them all would be great, we can’t. Fucking Liberals. But, the death penalty should be imposed for those based on the crime. What about the fucking asshole that rapes a child day after day, year after year. Should they still be allowed to live? fuck no. I say DEATH PENALTY for these jerk offs. Anal rape is much too nice of a punishment for these douche bags.

What about those that rape multiple children? How about Multiple offenders? They can’t be trust to not touch children and the jails are getting crowed as is. Why not kill them off and let them fertilize the earth? Hey, I finally found a use for Sex offenders, other than cheap labor. Still, Mexicans are cheaper, nicer and have a better work ethic. I think I rather have the Mexican working for me. In fact, lets build an electrified fence on the border of Mexico and start an exchange program. We get a Mexican who will become a productive citizen of the USA, and they get one of our sex offenders. Great deal in my opinion, where do we sign?

This will keep those asshole out of our country and allow people who want a better place to live to do so.

This will also keep stupid ass mother fuckers from coveting our children while we are out and about and keep them from harassing people who where victims and forcing them to have nightmares about said attacks that happened when they where kids. This dumb fuck knows who he is and he deserves a beat down.

One last bit, off topic, because I can’t think straight. RAPE IS NOT A JOKE! Telling someone you are goanna rape them because you’re mad at someone they know is not a joke, its sick and this fuck rag deserves a kick in his balls. May you get hit by a car you child molesting asshole.

Essays, Opinion, Woman, Writing

Woman riled up over fat princess in video game (2008)

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nk to the article: http://videogames.yahoo.com/feature/feminists-cry-foul-over-fat-princess/1232315

Woman need to get over the fact that they think they can’t be “fat” too.

A bunch of retarded feminist have launched complaints over a game called “Fat Princess” in which the objective of the game is to try and fatten up your princess with cake, so the opposing team then has to struggle to lift her and bring her back to their base. A capture the flag style game.

One group of female bloggers suggested re-editing the game to be about a treasure chest you fill with gold, instead of a fat chick you fill with cake.

Where is the fun in that though? This is kind of the video game version of “Big Bertha” you know, that arcade game where you have to toss balls in the fat woman’s mouth to win tickets?

Melissa McEwan told Sony she is “positively thrilled to see such unyielding dedication to creating a new generation of fat-hating, heteronormative —holes.”

Yes, because games create fat haters, just like GTA creates criminals, right? No no, it can’t be the way they are brought up, can it? We never stop and wonder if they are this way to begin with. No, we look for a scapegoat with which to place blame. Ms.McEwan, I have a secret for you…some people are just assholes.

Some people like fat woman. They are normally called “chubby chasers” and usually this is considered a “fetish” and some people just think fat woman are gross. Neither one is wrong, and who are we to tell them otherwise?

The greatest thing about free speech is that it shows you who the idiots are and who they aren’t. If they don’t like fat people then you know not to bother with them. If you agree and hate fat people, then you have a new set of friends.

Either way the BS of trying to make this country PC is fucking retarded. Stop being whiney babies and crying about how the game is going to do this and that. You don’t like it, don’t buy it. Encourage your friends not to buy it too. Wow, what a difficult concept to understand.

One game is NOT going to make a new generation of men who dislike fat woman, anymore then easy bake oven will make a generation of woman think the place they belong is in the kitchen. I reiterate that games won’t make men hate fat woman, the media does a good enough job of that all ready. 😉 lol

You need to get over it. People will always dislike people for the way they are. It’s the nature of the beast. Don’t expect everyone to like everyone else. It will never happen. Just go about your life and live it how you want. Pay no heed to the idiots who hate you because you’re fat. Because most people prob hate them because they’re stupid.

Link to the article: http://videogames.yahoo.com/feature/feminists-cry-foul-over-fat-princess/1232315

Essays, Journalism, Local, Trolling, Writing

How I Exposed Fake News

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Click Here to read the press release

So I wrote for a fake company called The Kitchen LLC. It was promoted as a progressive restaurant, that would hire men only, just to cater to woman. Obviously this is satire and I was doing it as an experiment. It didn’t actually take much exchange and below you can see how easy it was, with so little vetting. Me-Sa Ginny is made to sound like misogyny and BachDish is a play on the German phrase, Buck Dish or Bend Over as it is translated! So obvious troll is obvious, right?

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It actually got printed on the front page of the Journal Tribune here in Biddeford, Maine.

It gets even better! Instead of redact with a small print block on page 4 as these types are apt to do, they fake an entire news article to save face.

jtlies

If you refer to picture, the last time they emailed me was 1/3 2018 and I did not reply back. You see the article still went to print!

So what’s a young man to do when he stumbles across a new organization that writes fictional news? He takes it to the media to expose it and this is what happens!

While I did get a few inquires, no one wanted to print it, except for one but due to a conflict of interest, the fact a parent company owns both, they could not. So I am bringing it here and showing the world how the Journal Tribune, a small time newspaper, fakes the news and why they do it!

As of now, they have deleted both and replaced the fake news with a small redaction in place of the fake news article, with them giving themselves too much credit for their “Due Diligence”, which, had they had such, it never would of gone to print in the first place and the only reason they knew is because I owned up, in an attempt to show the world the depravity of that brand!

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Slight Edits and Correction to the text: January 15th, 2018

Essays, Opinion, Writing

Dare to Be Stupid

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     Ultimately, we’re a social species and our main goal is almost always winning people over, no matter the area. The most major fear of not attempting to engage yourself in a favorite pastime is rejection. People don’t like to be rejected, for most people, it hurts, but for me, I thrive on rejection when it is combined with an understanding as to why I was. I love honestly and while I don’t need feedback, I am quite able to improve myself with no help, not everyone is like me.

     There is nothing wrong with rejection in and of itself. Criticism should never be dismissed as “Hater’s gon hate!” when we might be able to gleam an insight into how we might improve ourselves on a daily basis, provided say criticism has merit. Its way too easy to say “You suck!” and get a plethora of up votes or views on Youtube, retweet on Twitter or like’s on Facebook. These people are considered trolls, but sadly troll is thrust upon any level of criticism that doesn’t jibe with what the receiver desires. Just like no one likes to be rejected, no one likes to be intellectually refuted either and the stubborn are excessively likely to cling to their abject delusions in the face of evidence, valid argument or anything that pops that bubble they live in.

     I think the best way to live is to court failure and rejection like it’s the high school prom queen. Crave it, desire it and make it your bitch. Don’t be subjected to being its slave by being fearful of it. The best way to get over rejection? Find the rejection of that which you fear most and kick that fear in the teeth. Say you had a crush on a celebrity when you were a kid. You’re almost certainly going to be rejected by the person. How does that impact your value though? It doesn’t impact your value and it sure as hell isn’t bad for you. Maybe your ego takes a hit, but big deal. I want anyone reading this to go out and intentionally get rejected by the thing you want most. Be it a job, a person, or otherwise. Once you have had the worst level of rejection you could experience, everything else is a cake walk. You should never fear rejection again after such a loss, nor should you take anything overly personal again. Nothing could possibly be worse than rejection from that which you crave most and it never means you couldn’t attempt it again later on.

     How many people get fired from WWE only to find themselves back again? Don’t you think that the foremost wrestling company rejecting you, if you grew up watching their product, would sting? In some cases yes in other cases, maybe not. Why care what someone else thinks of you? Improve, and keep improving. Don’t just try to be the best, actually be the best. Study what works and why it works. Be it dating, a job or otherwise. Nothing is holding you back. Just remind yourself about my favorite saying, “any idiot can do this.” Well, I’m any idiot and so are you! To borrow from Weird AL, “Dare to be stupid.”

     When you dare to be stupid and have no fucks to give about rejection or anything else, many doorways will open up to you. Give it a try, because I’m any idiot and you are too, so dare to be stupid, we’re all waiting for you!

Educational, Essays, Global, Local, National, Non-fiction, Opinion, Politics, Psychology, State, Trolling, Writing

Mandatory Welfare

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      Here’s an idea that is sure to piss off the Republican Party;I am for mandatory welfare. It’s not for the liberal ideas that one would think. I simply want to keep certain people out of the general populace. Yes, keeping people away from others could be a huge benefit for society as a whole. I like to think of it as social segregation.

      I cannot be the only person to ever walk into a store and hear the clerk bemoan the fact they have to work. I’m sorry that your life is so bad,plus you have to work. My heart bleeds so much for you! I’m not understanding to this, seriously, pushing a button is easy as hell and making a burger is even easier, when all you have to do is put the frozen carcinogenic slathered piece of “meat” under a heat lamp, which sits there for hours on end, until the unsuspecting costumer comes in and desires sustenance so badly, they will eat the food equivalent of an STD.

      Besides the fact that work is super hard for them and life is clearly not worthwhile, there is also the fact that, well, they want 15 dollars an hour to do something much worse than I could do at home. I can burn my own overly antibiotic infused frozen “meat” patty myself and remember that I don’t want cheese on it. People make mistakes, it’s part of life, so I don’t let this part get to me too much, but damn if it doesn’t occur to me when listing off reasons for mandatory welfare.

      When you factor in the above, you start to get an idea for why I’m right about this. I don’t really need more reasons, but you’re going to get them anyways! Allow me to now extrapolate onto the idea that is mandatory welfare.

      Since work is so hard and you cannot be bothered to look at what you just wrote down on order pad or the screen, I am willing to work for you, just to keep you home, until either your disposition improves or you learn to shut up while working, whichever comes first.

      You will make whatever the minimum wage is per year and it will be inflated to adjust for the cost of living, just please stay away from me and others. One of the buyer beware scenarios, when you sign up, you will be given a long term contract, five to ten years, that states that you cannot leave your house. You will be sterilized, fully or temporarily, to prevent breeding and you must Netflix and chill for the duration of the contract. It’s really that simple of a system, basically what we already have going, but improved for the benefit of humans who don’t mind getting things done.

      Now, I can be understanding, since some costumers are pains in the ass, but the location is partially to blame for this. Starbucks for example has too many options. I’m sorry, I thought you wanted coffee, well coffee comes one of two ways, black and tanned. Want sugar, add it yourself. If you have to add twenty sugars to something to make it palpable to your taste, you don’t like the item you’re procuring, you like the sugar. Just eat sugar packets. Here’s an idea, caffeinated sugar. One packet has enough caffeine of an espresso. Snort it like cocaine for all I care, just make be honest that you secretly hate coffee, otherwise you would drink it as is. The second you add half a dozen toppings, it is no longer coffee, rather a desert as Bill Maher has pointed out many times in the past. 1,000 calories is not coffee! I’d rather down a six pack of beer for that many calories, at least it will give me enough of a buzz to make humans tolerable.

      Besides the annual salary, just to leave myself and others alone, you will also be given an allotment of your drug of choice. Yes, you can have it as a signing bonus, once a month, you will get either the biggest bottle of whiskey, beer, bag of weed, bag of cocaine, heroin, whatever you wish, just to make sure you stay tranquil and indoors. You can live with your lover and if you cannot find one, we will help you, since you won’t be breeding anyways.

      I am willing to work two 40 hour a week jobs, just to keep you away from myself and others who cannot stand listening to the rubbish that flies out of your claptrap on a daily basis. It would be a privilege and an honor to not have to be served by you.

      Anything and everything will be provided for you, just so my mental health is kept healthy and I don’t descend into insanity.

      You’re probably wondering how business’ will thrive without a lot of people shopping, well, there’s an app for everything now a days, so you can order food from most places, with your government provided iPhone.

      This is something that the U.S. government needs to consider, because too many people are just stupid, lazy, bitter, jaded and otherwise not worth dealing with. I think you’ll find that life will generally improve for all involved, and mass shootings will actually be reduced. Granted, serial killers and the like will still exist, you cannot help that, but the 1% of murders that happen, is just nature’s way of cleaning the gene pool. So it is a necessary evil, like Richard Dawkins twitter account, or Donald J. Trump being a racist. You just have to deal with it.

      Another name for this is trickle down happiness. Which you may have learned about watching a porn video. I promise you that this will make this planet a much safer, much saner and overall a much better place to live. In fact, I guarantee it! It’s the Oprah of systems, everybody gets something.

      Another benefit of mandatory welfare? Better politicians and choices for president. Now I won’t have to listen to the talking heads on CNN, MSNBC, Fox News and half a dozen other “news” outlets opine about Emperor Palatine Vs Doc Brown being “saner” picks than Hilary Clinton vs Rand Paul. The only people saying this is unfair, are the idiots who would be locked up. The Paul Lepage, the John Boehner and Paul Ryans of the world.

     Heck, most of these jobs are practically welfare anyways. Why make the price of Big Mac go up, when we can just rid the world of the problem which is Bitter, overly entitled workers, who would rather not be there to begin with.

      Early adopters of the program will get healthcare paid for, as well, just to get you away from me faster! No need for a Bernie Sander’s presidency when we can fix the system.

      Mandatory welfare is going to be a thing and the best part, no more hipsters, working in Che Guevara hoodies. Is that not what life is truly about?

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Major Corrections to the text. ( 23 Nov. 2015)