Fashionably Late Movie Reviews:Jason Lives, Friday the 13th part VI.

INTRODUCTION
Jason Lives is without a doubt my favorite of the Friday the 13th movies. It was Meta before Scream and I adore Scream, so this one was defiantly up my alley. This one holds up the best on television and it was not as over the top as some of the earlier and later sequels. So does it hold up 33 years after the fact?

SYNOPSIS
Tommy Jarvis, past victim of Jason, returns to Crystal Lake to burn Jason’s dead body. A lighting strike hits Jason, resurrecting him, ala old 1930-1950 style movies and Jason is back to kill a bunch of people with poor character development for our entertainment.

CHARACTERS
Tommy had been built for three movies and still he is a mediocre Nancy Thompson for this franchise, but he is acted much better in this flick. The rest of the characters are filler to see killed because it is a Friday the 13th and who the hell needs character development?

ACTING
Some of the stronger acting of the series. It really wanted to set itself apart from past sequels and do its own thing. Even the smallest role is very well acted in this movie. It’s not hokey, even 33 years later.

KILLS
Nothing over the top, just your quick machete to the gut or something else just as tame by this series standards but that is ok and one of the things that makes this flick hold up.

SUBTEXT
It’s Friday the 13th, for real tho!

CONCLUSION
Part 6 didn’t reinvent the wheel by any stretch of the imagination, but it did make the old structure fresh and fun, while giving birth to the meta genre. Its kills are banal and mediocre, there is no nudity and ultimately it seems like it should not satisfy gore hounds, yet it does and it looks really good to this day.

3.5/5

FUN FACT:
Jason Lives seems to take place in the future, given the fact that Jarvis is at least 30 something, as the actor himself was. If we are to use the chronical age of the actors, given that there is no real way of telling the age of the characters themselves, since Corey Feldman was a teenager in the former sequels, then Part 6 takes place in 2006/2007 and would technically be the final Friday before Jason X would come about.

Halloween: A movie review of Blumhouse’s H40

Introduction

I don’t want to start off with the typical cliché of the fact that the Halloween movies are 40 years old at this point and go through all the old bullshit about how so many movies have been made, including the remake and all that other fun stuff. I’m going straight to the point and talk about the fact that this is the movie people have a wanting for a long time.

Synopsis / Plot

Michael Myers breaks out of sanitarium, terrorizing Haddonfield, 40 years to the day of the original babysitter murders.

Characters

The characters are only kind developed but once we get into the bottom below where I praise the acting you can find yourself being like well, the acting makes up for only so-so character development.

Acting

I think it’s spot-on even from the most bit characters, which is a new trend in Hollywood that has been happening the last couple years, which I find to be an extremely interesting and very much a pleasurable thing. Backround characters are treated as something of note. The annoying aspect of background characters being bad actors always make for a weak movie and this is definitely moving in the right direction from all those old sequels.

Kills

I highly enjoyed all of the kills. Now, none of them are particularly interesting, you’ve seen things like this before but I enjoyed that because lately, especially with the Saw movies, Hollywood has been getting very over-the-top with their kills in horror movies and it’s ultimately destroying the entire horror industry. None of it is scary, and it’s absurd as I pointed out. This movie got it right! it had some up front and personal kills mixed with the Quentin Tarantino aspect of shying away from showing everything but letting you build it up in your mind. This is the right way to do a movie! Afterthought on this: a lot of people complained about the infant crying after his mom was killed was a missed opportunity. I disagree, it was more brutal than a kill would of been. A newborn left to fend for itself is 10x more evil than stabbing it.

Subtext

None of note but we don’t need that in this movie.

Conclusion

Most of her critics were completely wrong about this movie. I find the gripes to be unfounded. A lot of people came away from this with a version of the Mandela effect because they aren’t remembering it correctly. They still entitled to their opinion but they really should have bothered to have paid more attention in my mind. The acting was superb, the Kills were nothing new but still decent, the characters were okay but the acting more than made up for it, the tension was there, which lately is a new trend, is actually great. My only real gripe is super nitpicky, with one exception, most of the actors in this movie are hot but just kind of mediocre looking. Not a single one is overly photogenic, which is weird for Hollywood, but I don’t see anything wrong with hiring Hot or ugly people, even in horror movies, provided they can act. it works because all these people can act even if they’re not all Brad Pitt and I’m okay with this trend overall. Ultimately Halloween hits on all the right notes and is really done a great fan service 40 years later. In my mind Laurie Strode was done well, so much better than H2O or Halloween resurrection. This is the movie that I’ve been waiting to see since I was a kid.

Over all this movie gets 4 out of 5 stars and I hope it gets a sequel ASAP.

Happy Acres (NSFW)

     WARNING: the piece you are going to read is NOT for the squeamish, those with trepidation or neophytes to the horror genre. This story is flat out fucked up and WILL TRIGGER YOU! This is fair warning, and isn’t to bolster my story as a horror writer, enter if you dare, but be forewarned.

-Enter at Your Own Risk>

Trigger Warning (2008)

     A hand swung down out of the darkness like a bat in the night, striking its victim across the head and pushing here forward into a small area lighted only by a yellowish spot light.

     “Get up, bitch” a man’s voiced screamed from the black abyss surrounding the young, freighted, blonde hair woman.

     “I said get the fuck up” This time the voice echoed. The young woman lay bound and gagged on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably, unable to obey.
A hand thrust out of the darkness, hoisting the woman up on to her knees. “Fucking bitch” the disembodied voice called from the void. “Do you know why you’re here?” The young girl shook her head, and let out a muffled cry. “You’re the biggest slut on campus, that’s why.” The girl tried screaming, but it was downed out from her gag. A fist flew and hit her again, this time striking her cheek. Muffled screams poured forth like a damn breaking and releasing its water.

     “You fuck everyone…everyone.” Said the voice, anger filled his words. “But you never fucked me.” Out of the darkness, the barrel of a pistol came into view, level with her face. “You like being a slut so much, let us see how well you suck dick.” The disembodied figure rubbed the gun barrel over her checks. The girl threw her head back and streams of tears poured forth.

     A hand reached for the girls gag and removed it. The girl screeched. The butt of the gun was brought down hard on the girls cheeks, silencing her. “Do you want to live?” Asked the voice. Trembling, the girl tried to scream yes, but silence was all she could muster. “Do you want to live?” The voice asked in a louder, angrier tone. The girl finally managed to scream yes.

     The gun reappeared, this time in front of the woman’s face. Gently, the man rubbed the barrel of the cold, hard steel over her lips. “Start sucking” came the man’s voice. The girl did as she was told, wrapping her lips over the shaft of the barrel, bobbing her head back and forth, vigorously

     “Not so fast” the man said. “Wouldn’t want me to prematurely shoot now, would you?” A whimper came from the girls gun filled mouth. She slowed her pace. “That’s more like it” Said the voice. “Nice and slow.” A finger wrapped around the trigger, and started to pull on it. The hammer slowly went back, and the forth. On and on like this a few times, as if coming to a head. “Wow, keep this up and I might just blow in your mouth”

     A hand reached out and touched the young blondes head, as if to steady itself. The man’s voiced let out a moan of ecstasy. “I might just let you live after all” The man said to the girl. “Be a shame if the world lost a good little cocksucker like you.” The hand began to rub the girls head. “Ah, shit” the man said. “I’m going to cum” and followed by a groan as he pulled the pistol from and squeezing the trigger blowing a shot in the girls eye. “Whoops” laughed the man from the darkness. The girl’s body fell to the floor, dead.

     “Here you go bitch, clean yourself up” the man said, tossing a towel onto the dead body. Satisfactorily he chuckled to himself, and it echoed in the darkness.

Beast Within (2007)

My eyes turn green at the thought of you with him.

My mind races with furry and rational thought quickly dims.

I grow sick at the thought there is anyone better for you then me.

I scream for you, even if it’s only silently.

My passion burns more for you, like a flame in the dark.

The fire within makes me want to smash and tear things apart.

But its when things look dreary and patience wears thin, that your smile soothes the beast within.

Alone (2007)

I sit and stare blankly, at the screen quietly waiting, for a chance to chat with her.

yet, she may never come.

Which leaves me wondering what I done, to distance her from me.

and in that moment of sadness, I re-read our old chats and fill with gladness, that soon she may grace my day with her presence.

and I hope she’ll stay.