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Essays, Opinion, Writing

Dare to Be Stupid

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     Ultimately, we’re a social species and our main goal is almost always winning people over, no matter the area. The most major fear of not attempting to engage yourself in a favorite pastime is rejection. People don’t like to be rejected, for most people, it hurts, but for me, I thrive on rejection when it is combined with an understanding as to why I was. I love honestly and while I don’t need feedback, I am quite able to improve myself with no help, not everyone is like me.

     There is nothing wrong with rejection in and of itself. Criticism should never be dismissed as “Hater’s gon hate!” when we might be able to gleam an insight into how we might improve ourselves on a daily basis, provided say criticism has merit. Its way too easy to say “You suck!” and get a plethora of up votes or views on Youtube, retweet on Twitter or like’s on Facebook. These people are considered trolls, but sadly troll is thrust upon any level of criticism that doesn’t jibe with what the receiver desires. Just like no one likes to be rejected, no one likes to be intellectually refuted either and the stubborn are excessively likely to cling to their abject delusions in the face of evidence, valid argument or anything that pops that bubble they live in.

     I think the best way to live is to court failure and rejection like it’s the high school prom queen. Crave it, desire it and make it your bitch. Don’t be subjected to being its slave by being fearful of it. The best way to get over rejection? Find the rejection of that which you fear most and kick that fear in the teeth. Say you had a crush on a celebrity when you were a kid. You’re almost certainly going to be rejected by the person. How does that impact your value though? It doesn’t impact your value and it sure as hell isn’t bad for you. Maybe your ego takes a hit, but big deal. I want anyone reading this to go out and intentionally get rejected by the thing you want most. Be it a job, a person, or otherwise. Once you have had the worst level of rejection you could experience, everything else is a cake walk. You should never fear rejection again after such a loss, nor should you take anything overly personal again. Nothing could possibly be worse than rejection from that which you crave most and it never means you couldn’t attempt it again later on.

     How many people get fired from WWE only to find themselves back again? Don’t you think that the foremost wrestling company rejecting you, if you grew up watching their product, would sting? In some cases yes in other cases, maybe not. Why care what someone else thinks of you? Improve, and keep improving. Don’t just try to be the best, actually be the best. Study what works and why it works. Be it dating, a job or otherwise. Nothing is holding you back. Just remind yourself about my favorite saying, “any idiot can do this.” Well, I’m any idiot and so are you! To borrow from Weird AL, “Dare to be stupid.”

     When you dare to be stupid and have no fucks to give about rejection or anything else, many doorways will open up to you. Give it a try, because I’m any idiot and you are too, so dare to be stupid, we’re all waiting for you!

Essays, Non-fiction, Pornography, Sex

In Defense of Pornography

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     A question about porn has recently arisen from the ashes of my mind, like a phoenix taking flight and I cannot shake the idea from my mind and need to discuss it.

     The question in mind deals with the mind and pornography and how we has a society have come to view it. Porn is shot in High Definition now a day, and very realistic. In fact, porn is shot closer to home movies that you might share with loved one, from vacations to children’s birthday parties, but one has to wonder if that is the biggest problem with porn that society has, over the fact that pornography actually exist.

     Does porn interact with our minds differently than movies do? If you don’t know a thing about movies, they are traditionally shot on film in 24fps (Frames per second) and it gives the movies a dream like quality to them, as it is often described as.

     Pornography hasn’t been shot on film since sometime in the 1970’s, most likely. If you have seen pornography from the 1980’s you’ll notice a change in style and a much more modern look to it, in comparison to the porn of the previous eras. In fact, pornography was often viewed in theaters much like its cinematic counterparts.

     Some people, have drawn and in my opinion, false correlations between pornography and IQ. Dr. Kanawanza mentions such in his book The Intelligence Paradox.

     If pornography is interacting with our minds in a much more realistic way than it has in the past, could it be to blame for having impacts on sex lives?

     I find it doubtful that shooting a pornographic film in 24fps has any less of an impact on the mind than would shooting in a much more realistic format as 32fps. In fact, some studies have concluded, in recent times, that porn probably isn’t that bad for you at all.

     Yet if there really is a problem with pornography, were would it stem from? Yes, porno creates unrealistic situations that would never happen in real life. If you bang the nineteen year old cheerleader at the door, she probably wasn’t outside awaiting to have you ravage her like they do in the films. Most likely selling something or is lost and needs directions.

     Yet all porno is somewhat grounded in realism, since every time you interact with a member of the opposite sex, you could find yourself going back to their place for a shag.

     Is it the acts that seem far outside of “normal” that could be impacting people? I think the creativity in sexual acts is also a farfetched idea, since one article suggest that film can actually make one feel empathic towards characters.

     This brings me back to my point, since the article says film, which again is in 24fps, giving a dream like quality over the realistic nature of 1080p HD.

     If pornography is the reason for some ills in the world, I highly I would like to know the answer as to why? Science has given us plenty of evidence as to why it isn’t corrupting our soul and turning our children into sexual fiends.

     If the impact of pornography on our psyches is caused by anything, I’m willing to bet it’s the format in which it was shot in, over the content of the actual film.

     Albeit, film has never prevented psychopaths from being destructive towards others. The shootings in Denver are a clear indication of a movie being scapegoated as the catalyst for such insanity.

     So, given a breakdown of format that is used to create such films, what other possible argument for pornography being the scourge of humanity be?

     I cannot think of one, but I know for sure that it isn’t the fact that anyone can view it, the content of the film or even the format.

     Since these are the only possible arguments as to why people could consider such movies abhorrent in our society, I find the idea that pornography as an “Evil” is fatuous at best and a waste of tax dollars to find a correlation between murders, rape and destruction. I love science and anytime scientist get to do their thing, I’m for it, even when the hypothesis is batshit crazy, but some things in life should be blatantly fucking obvious.

     I’m one of those guys who loves to have as much evidence to back up my claims as anyone, but that leads to a need to be very selective in what I ultimately put my time into. This is the problem that I’m running into. Simple arguments pretty much show that pornography cannot do much to decay the very fabric of society. Yet, what could the reason be?

     The more we look at pornography from a logical perspective, the more rational pornography seems to be. It makes sense that people might turn to pornography for a whole plethora of reasons. Not the least of which is for ideas on how to rape. Rape is, has and always will be very straight forward. It is the use of corrosion, force or other means in getting “sex” from another person.

     How would the details of the rape have prevented it from happening? Some people are raped in the most brutal of ways, true and while influence in society from outside stimuli can and does happen, I don’t see it as deep enough to be alarming and having people desire to go on a witch-hunt within the pornography industry.

     Does some porn go too far in denigrating woman? Maybe, but that is up to the viewer to decide and not others. Remember, the hurdles that need to be jumped to be a woman in porn nowadays is far greater than in the past and they are subject to greater scrutiny. In other words, 99% of all acts seen and porn are defiantly consensual and while the 1% of the acts could justifiably be traced to possible forcing of someone into the industry, it happens more than not within the amateur realm of pornography than the pro.

     Pornography is a lot of things, but evil will never be one of them and I think that this will hold true as people continue to study pornography in greater and greater samples into the future and beyond. Quite possibly, the only better industry to be in now a day is the study of pornography as opposed to being in pornography, but that is another topic for another day.

Non-fiction, Opinion

Mass Hysteria

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Article on Shootings: “http://abcnews.go.com/US/fullpage/us-school-shootings-massacres-threats-timeline-curse-columbine-25896335

     Columbine will always be remembered as one of the worst incidents in American history, other than possibly electing George W. Bush to president, but joking aside, what is it about this particular event that has the insane completely enthralled?

     Surely, for anyone with a clear enough recollection of the 90’s, you would remember that Columbine wasn’t the first, yet we’re still feeling the impact of its “Legacy” today. In terms of catastrophe, it isn’t the biggest. In fact, the only data surrounding it suggest it was only the biggest school shooting. Aurora, Colorado had a bigger impact and yet the rise of shootings in theaters hasn’t taken hold with the disenfranchised youth.

     The problem isn’t one of making them famous, as the article suggest, but rather about making them infamous. Fame is gained through positivity and infamy is gained from notoriety. The real underlying problem isn’t that the youth are aspiring to be the young Columbine killers, but rather outdo them. I personally seem to think that if these kids’ desires is to outdo the “worst school shooting in history” then they might bother to actually learn a thing or two about incident in question. Instead, they don a trench coat, read and listen to the same music or books in a vain attempt to invoke the young boys who walked into their school and shot it up, one April morning in 1999.

     Article after article suggest that the biggest problem is scapegoating. In fact, all the articles do is attempt to explain away why these “Kids” are doing such horrible thing. Where can the adults find blame? After all, we yearn for explanations when things are out of our control. The youth also scapegoat their potential deeds on the shooters of Columbine as they have been scapegoated by their “peers.”

     It’s a never ending cycle of blame this, that or the other thing. What I refer to as the “O’Reilly Fallacy.” In other words, you cannot know, therefore, you know. We see it all the time in the media. Bill O’Reilly for whom I named the fallacy after (Original name of the fallacy is argumentum ad ignorantiam) and the Aliens guy.

     All the speculation as to what the root cause is, adds up only to borderline conspiracy theory, crackpot explanations and pseudo-scientific linking of the irrelevant. You can understand why these kids commit heinous crimes, though. It isn’t the music, books or movies. I’ve seen everything these kids have, read the same books and listened to the music. At twenty-eight years old, pretty sure I’m doing just fine and haven’t the faintest desire to kill anyone. Although, I will say, Justin Bebier makes me want to blow my own brains out, but that’s a different story for another time.

     The root of the explanation lies in the end of the article, which is that schools do not do enough to prevent bullying. Loss of funding, blaming the victim, lawsuits, shootings and the dreaded no-tolerance policy. If anything some of these kids went through happened at a business, the individual in question would probably had been fired. Not so in schools. It’s a buildup of tension until the eventual eruption. In fact, you can view the following in order to better understand what happens to these kids as they attempt to navigate the nightmare that is the American school system.

     It’s the domestic violence cycle. Tension, explosion, honeymoon phase. When we can understand such, under a different model, then why do we still lay blame on stupid things?

cycle_of_abuse

     Bullying IS a form of domestic violence, one that impacts a child for long after they have left the “relationship.” You know how to prevent one, but not the other? Start by isolating the problem, end the victim blaming that runs rampart in schools and punish the perpetrators so that they remember that verbal abuse is still abuse.

     Find the kids who need guidance and an escape away from the abuse that they receive and things will be different. You might not be able to prevent them all, but you will impede future problems.