INTRODUCTION: So I waited a bit to see this movie until the BS died down, much like with the 2016 Ghostbusters. I think it’s helpful, especially when approaching a movie you loved for decades.
PLOT: The New Busters move back to NYC and fight a new big bad.
CHARACTERS :Very good and very well developed. Even the introduction of new characters is interesting. Pecks characters change is intriguing and interesting.
ACTING: excellent! Everyone brought their a game here.
DIALOGUE: Very well done.
STYLE: Excellent!
FX: Awesome. The mix of CGI and Practical work so well.
SUBTEXT: None. Regardless of what some people seem to say on the internet about an interpersonal relationship between one of the characters and a ghost be more than friendly ain’t there either.
CONCLUSION: Very slow burn of a movie that sets up a lot of interesting characters and equipment for a third installment. Gil Kenen did an amazing job with this movie and it made it Al the better. I very much look forward to a third installment.
INTRODUCTION: So about 14 years ago, a movie came out called Grindhouse. It was making fun of 70s/80s exploitation films of the past. Not a bad couple of flicks in Tarantino later, but far from his best. The best part of the whole double feature billing was the faux trailers during it. Thanksgiving was one of those trailers that really stood out besides the Rob Zombie one and the other from Shaun of the Dead director Edgar Wright. So, all these years later and this movie is a trailer no more. What to make of it?
PLOT: Thanksgiving is upon Plymouth Massachusetts and there is a killer on the lose. Oh noes!!!!!
CHARACTERS: Not bad, but a tad bit more development would have been nice.
ACTING: Very strong given the source material was a joke, throw away thing.
DIALOGUE: Excellent
STYLE: Excellent
FX: Very good
SUBTEXT: Zero
CONCLUSION: I normally hate everything Eli Roth has ever done. Hostel sucked, Cabin Fever sucked, everything but this trailer sucked. Incidentally, this movie, trite in certain ways though it may be, really worked. A few jump scares got me and Eli finally struck a nice balance between gore/fx and nuance. There only a couple small flaws, but otherwise this is a horror movie and I would love a sequel.
INTRODUCTION: So I never see these films until today, during a fuckin heatwave and to be honest, I’m pretty sure the hundred degree heat was better than either of these fuckin flicks.
PLOT: The 1970s delivered a movie so awesome, called Jaws and it took nearly 50 years for someone to want to make a completely different shark movie and make a sequel to it.
CHARACTERS: Not developed well. This was just a reason to cast Jason Stratham as a badaas for like the millionth time. Like we need another Jason lead action flick? Well, we did, but not this one.
ACTING: Acadmy award winning! How these mutha fuckers made it through this movie straight faced is beyond me. Someone pay these muthas scale+20 million, please.
DIALOGUE: it ain’t cringe, but it ain’t anything likeable either.
FX: Worsa den de Jar jar Binks! Is that fuckin shark even go scale? It looks worse than Jaws! Seriously, fuck this series.
CONCLUSION: I have no clue what the fuck was going on in either of these movies. Why they needed to happen or why they felt a need to sequelize it. All I know is that I’m glad I waited to watch them and didn’t see them when they were new.
So I’m on record stating that AI isn’t anything to worry about. A few months back I asked it to make certain things with the idea behind the experiment being that, in order for AI to be a threat, it at minimum has to be able to understand complexities. Wrestling is a good example of complexities, because it has to give you a gimmick, make you look like you’re on vitamins and make the visuals seem real. It failed on all those accounts. So it turns out Meta lets you create AI images. Naturally I took it on myself to try again. How crazy could I get?
So Batman has a new looks
Batman has a new look. He’s The Ramones meets Batman and so is Batgirl and Nightwing.
Mr J got him a new set of threads as well as some of the other rouge’s gallery
If this was a movie, it would get weirder because Kal Al isn’t a superhero anymore, he’s retired and peaceful.
Hippie Superman
It only gets worse from here. You see, Harley Quinn is also retired and has a kid with Mr J or so she thinks
As if that couldn’t be any weirder, it turns out Batman got a new car too
Bat to the future
And well, it ain’t Batman’s year. Cause he also found the necromonicon
Yeah he said them, kinda, sorta
Which causes Mr J to become a cyborg . Since Batman is fucked he finds a certain someone for help
That’s right, Freddy fuckin Kruger!
At first they fight, cause even Freddy won’t fuck with a Batman
But cyborg joker and freddy team up
Well, Batman is fucked, but he’s Batman, so he meets up with Bob Kane for some dues ex machina and wins
Fight them this way
Well in between all of this Batman has some mini bosses
Stay puff and a polar bear
A giant fuckin carebear
So anyways, Ash from Evil Dead is around and Sherlock Holmes makes and apprence.
Sherlock my dear Bruce Wayne
Random action sequences and other worthless things Hollywood wouldn’t tie up but looks good in the trailer to bilk you outta money like
Cameos by other DC characters
Night fire is a stripper…again and beat and cyborg are part of the titans street gang.
As if that isn’t bad enough it turns out that Batman is really the jokers sons baby daddy
There’s this really cool still we took before principal photography but never put it in the final flick
Cool still is cool
Then like Bruce Wayne’s parents are like alive and shit
Are you winning, son?
So anyway, commish Gordon is dead or some stupid fuckin set up for the sequel and like Ra’s Al ghul is now in charge of the police with scarecrow being a detective or some shit, idk
Batman kills joker and cremates him with Alfred
And then it turns out that it was Batman’s son entertaining his mommy and daddy with action figures and other dumb stuff
Batman high fives his sons creativity and says “like a boss”
The credits hit and like an hour later we get a random post credit sequence that makes no sense but they swear it’s well thought out.
Choose your own adventure
Plus a random picture of a “plus size” Barbara Gordon.
And that’s the end of that. Think the AI is further proving my point, but I got a neater idea of what it could do in the future. So tune in next week, same bat time, same bat channel.
INTRODUCTION: Snootch to the mutha fuckin nootch! So while I have never actually reviewed a Kevin Smith film, I have been a fan for years. I went as Dante from Clerks, even though I’m more of a Randal fan. Who could miss a golden opportunity to bitch about how I wasn’t even supposed to be here today? Every screenplay I have ever conceived has at least one reference to Kevin Smith. I’ve even had the same conversation about shitting or getting off the pot with a female Dante in my late 20s. Unlike Dante, the 7/11 employee ended up quitting and getting a better job. A testament to Kevin’s writing. I even lived in a town that saw a church celebrating its Bicentennial, sadly, no Ill equipped angel entered into and nearly negating all of existence. Not to mention, growing up in Salem, Massachusetts, one Haunted Happings eve, at the local comic shop, I bumped into two fanboys dressed as the men themselves, Jay and Silent Bob, where I said “aren’t you that silent jay and bob guys?” To which the not so silent bob corrected me. Worse than not knowing Jungle Love. So to say my life hasn’t seen a lot of Kevin Smith references is an understatement.
PLOT: Nearly Senior Citizens, Dante Hicks and Randall Graves are still working at the quick stop, which they now own, when a near death experience forces Randal out of his comfort zone to make a movie.
CHARACTERS: If you don’t watch Kevin’s movies, you’re going to be lost here. You need to see Clerks one and two first. The characters grow, albeit slowly, over the course of several movies.
ACTING: Best Acting I’ve seen from a grouping of non actors. Brian O’halloran deserved an Oscar nom for the emotional aspect he exuded here and Jeff Anderson followed right on his heels with an equally stellar emotional performance.
VISUALS: it’s Clerks. Who cares?
FX: ?
MUSIC: More modern, well as modern as 05 and up can be. It’s fitting.
CONCLUSION: This was made for fans of the series, nothing more and nothing less and while I hate the ending, which justifies Dante’s world view of life being a series of down endings, it’s still fitting. Honestly, Clerks 3 is the strongest of the two sequels and while I enjoyed Clerks 2, it’s a movie that probably shouldn’t have been made. That said, it did as a bridge to an even better Clerks 3. If you’re a fan, give it a watch.
INTRODUCTION: OMG! The cast doesn’t all have vaginas! Well, Finn Wolfhard does, but that’s beside the point. I must trigger on Twitter (Now X) and make sure Hollywood is well aware of my smug need to interject myself were I don’t belong! /sarcasm We all know that after the 2016 reboot, which I enjoyed, that anything Ghostbusters related was going to be polarizing. I decided to do this review late, because I don’t care if you agree with me or not, it’s nice to just have new Ghostbusters movies being made and it doesn’t need a million people triggering on a post. So is this something to be thankful for?
PLOT: Ghostbusters are a thing of the past. Egan fucked off to middle of sister fuckin midwestern town or something. He has grandkids and a child, of which no one knows how that happened. They discover his farm home and in stranger things style, bust heads, in a spiritual sense, or course.
CHARACTERS: Very good and pretty well developed.
ACTING: Excellent! The Gen Z actors are definitely beyond their years. Better than I was at a similar age when I won student of the month for acting at Bates Elementary School in Salem, Massachusetts in fifth grade for the most atrocious Christmas play, ever.
STYLE: Not too dissimilar from 2016, but mildly less Scooby Doo 2000. It doesn’t look like the 80s originals at all, but this is a different Reitman directing, so give him a chance.
MUSIC: Excellent! Even the pop songs were decent.
FX: Excellent. Nice blend of CGI and practical.
CONCLUSION: For a movie that was mostly sold on nostalgia, this really struck out in its own right. I know a lot of people thought the young actors were annoying, I thought they were all really on point. It was modern, nostalgic, unique but kept to the basic Ghostbusters formula that Jason’s father, Ivan, laid down. Very good and I would love to see a dozen more.
Best in Your Girl 