Bernie Sanders

Bernie Sanders
Sung to the Captain Planet theme.
Lyrics re-imagined by Kage

Fraud!
Unemployment!
Living Wage!
Climate Change!
Heart!

Go Sanders!

By your votes combined I am President Sanders!

President Sanders, he’s a hero,
Gonna take Republicans down to zero,
He’s your power, magnified.
And he’s fighting on the socialist side

President Sanders, he’s a hero,
Gonna take rich people down to zero,
Gonna help him put asunder,
On bad guys who like to Jeb and Carson.

“You’ll pay for this Bernie Sanders!”-Donald Trump

(chanting)
We’re the SOCIALIST,
You can be one too!
‘Cause saving our democracy is the thing to do,
Lobbying and Jerrymandering is not the way,
Hear what Bernie Sanders has to say:

“THE POWER IS YOURS!!”

MonoBlack Control in Modern. 1.1

MBCMod

I’ve been working on this deck for about a year now. It is mono black control, done cheap and brutal. The trick is to rip apart the win-cons of other decks as fast as possible, leaving them nothing to beat you with. It works against any deck that isn’t packing Leyline of Sanctity. It is fun and cheap.

Prowrestlingtees.com

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      http://www.prowrestlingtees.com is a site dedicated to the creation of Wrestling tees. http://www.onehourtees.com is the same company. You could click either and go directly to the site and check out the wide selection of tee shirts they have. I bought mine from the pro wrestling site. I’m a wrestling fan, so it only makes sense that I would provide the run down of products I buy that are wrestling related or created by wrestlers. This site would be no exception as I bought the first of hopefully many shirts from their website.

     let me discuss the main points regarding these shirts. The material is excellent quality. The prints are well made and the designs are wicked. Some designs are going to appeal to you more than others, depending on which wrestler you want to get the shirt from. I’ve already washed my shirt after wearing it for a few days. Yes, I said a few days. Quality made, especially with how I toss and turn at night. Next, the colors do not run when washed. I’ve only washed it once, but I’m sure it will still be holding up after many more washing. If it isn’t, I’ll post and edit with how many licks it took to get to the center of the tootsie roll pop.Got here packaged well, by my standards and relatively quick. No problems from the websites end. After that it was in the hands of the US Post Service and, well, it got here, so yay!

     Their Twitter account seems like fun too. They’re really fans of the business and are doing their best to keep it alive and well. If you’re into that, check it out.

     All the wrestlers shops come with many designs as well as a blurb that breakdowns the wrestler and their accomplishments. Gives you the twitter handle, for those of you that enjoy snapping a selife to tweet to said celebrity in order to show them that you bought the shirt. I don’t bother with this. I tend to just write about it. I’m happy I have an awesome product to wear and proudly shill the crap out of.

     If you’re interested in the tee-shirt I have, see link below. Otherwise, follow the yellow brick road up above to either of the sites to find what you want. My shirt pictured above is here: http://prowrestlingtees.com/amydumas

*P.S. You cannot, I’m sadden to say, buy the extremely sexy model from the pic above. I’m sad too. 😦

The Luchagors:Review

Luchagors-

     I’m going to stay away from what I did in my last musical review, which, as you may recall linked past to present career paths, and instead look at this from a perspective of a band as if I just found them. I think going this away removes a past bias for the performer in one aspect of their life and creates a far more objective outlook at the present. Although I guess I’m wicked late to reviewing this, though.

     So this is the debut album for a band called The Luchagors. Which, according to the internets is wordplay combination, Lucha Libre and Horror flicks. Right up my alley, as I greatly enjoy both. I haven’t had the chance to see them live, so it is just for the album which you can easily find on Itunes or Amazon.

     The band consist of members: Amy Dumas (Lead vocals), Shane Morton (Guitar and vocals), Jay Hedberg (Bass and vocals.), Racci Shay (Drummer). The latter apparently replaced Troy King on drums.

     Right from the first song titled White Boy, the songs are catchy, fast paced, angst filled with all the good stuff punk music is known for. The theme through most of the lyrics seem consistent through several songs, which are that of a woman scorned. An indictment on an unknown person, most likely an ex, whom seems like a little bitch and a going through the motions of regaining independence of her life and eventually resulting in self-fulfillment of a brighter future.

     Granted that could just be a hell of a lot of inference on absolutely nothing, but you can view the lyrics and judge for yourself.

     The vocals are strong, the music crisp, and the lyrical content is interesting, even if it is somewhat banal for lyrical content. Originality can be overrated, though. You can pick up on many of the bands influences if you know about enough about punk rock. I managed to note and find The Misfits influence and I’m sure many more experienced punk rock listeners will find more.

     The run time is over a half hour long, so you won’t spend too much time having to sit down and really and give much thought to it. Given the edgy sound and style, it still manages to be fun. Which is more than I can say about most edgy bands. Usually they’re dark and brooding. Like back before vampires were twinks who sparkled. I digress and… seriously, fuckin’ sparkle? Never mind.

     If you want something you could speed through, say, shopping or at the gym, this is an interesting and excellent choice. Pick up a copy and you can finally stick it to your hipster friend about how you found and like a new band, but they probably never heard of them. That alone would be worth picking up this gem from 2007, never mind actually enjoying it. Enjoying it would just be a bonus. You could spend $9.99 on far worse, like say, 50 Shades of Grey, or you could listen to something that is at least 25 shades of enjoyable.

     This album gets the fingerofapproval

Best in Your Girl: The Novel.

Chapter One

     The glass on the den windows vibrated from the strong winds pounding against it with an intensity reminiscent of a starship pulling out of warp speed and just barely colliding with an asteroid A powerful thud, but unscathed.

     I reached out and grabbed the large black remote from the coffee table turned on the television, pushing my way through boring show, after boring show, until I came upon the weather channel, which was still far better than whatever sitcom was popular. I muttered to myself, then allowed the meteorologist his say. His voice was thick and masculine, like a Russian who could speak English with the precision of a native. “Looks like you’re getting 18’ massive inches of snow, with gale force winds coming in off the oceans within the next hour.”

     I moved towards the window and stared into the black abyss that was the night, watching as the sky spurted little flakes of white snow, which slowly drifted downward and accumulated upon the window sill of my den. Chills ran up my back as Goosebumps were aroused on my forearms, sending me to the other side of the house to grab myself a towel, in order to clean up the snow that would most likely force itself through the tight window opening, without mercy, ravaging the beautiful hard wood floors with unsightly bumps and buckles, unless someone made sure to use the proper protective barrier to prevent such.

     Only a few moments had passed when a huge dong sprang forth from the living room, cutting through the tension of the night, saving me from the hardcore debauchery of loneliness that pillaged the inside of my mind, driving me to the brink of madness and all without the radiance of Edgar Allen Poe’s elegant prose to make the lingering pain of despairs engorged embrace upon my soul even more burdensome.

     Moving over towards the fireplace, I snatched the whiskey off the mantel, removed the cap and brought the long, glass handle to my mouth, allowing the sweet ambrosia to fill my mouth and swallowed a swing in one massive gulp. My face slowly grew flushed as my capillaries burst, giving forth the slow rise to comfort and the illusion of warmth, which became displaced by the wetness of my pants, nestling itself right between my legs, making my pajama bottoms cling to my inner thigh. I hadn’t noticed the sticky liquid that had been spilled upon my pants when I grabbed the towel from the bathroom. I was too buzzed from the whiskey to be even mildly annoyed by the inconvenient spillage. I curled my lip and undid my bathrobe as I approached the bookcase and pulled down on the book, opening up the doorway to the spiral staircase that descended into the depths of depravity that was my underground lair.

     I pushed through the spiral doorway into a room dimly lit rectangular room, which would have been all but an inkwell of darkness if not for the small amount of lighting, which expressed itself through six, square-shaped windows in the ceiling above, allowing the silken gold light to rain down and envelop the bed in its warm, passionate embrace, as if a beacon had descended from the heavens, carving a path to the siren that was my bed and enveloping it in a warm and passionate embrace, which would surely be the demise of my night if I was to succumb to the temptations which it proffered.

     Lights on, I command with the same “swagger” Ali Baba must have wielded outside the den of thieves an eon earlier. The lights turned on slowly, like a strike to the match that would fully engulf the head with a flame, hypnotically dancing in the dark. A large black book lay on the bedside table, which, was insipidity titled little black book. I sunk down into the bed as I sat upon it and opened up the book containing head shots of woman who I had met over the years, each one with name and number beside them, three hole punched for easy flipping through the binder and all labeled according to hair color, age, body type, sexual predilections and more. I flipped through pages upon pages of woman from which I had my pick, depending on my mood and desires, stopping on the last page of the book.

     Her name was Christine Hernandez, She was a new addition, older and shorter than myself, with beautiful eyes that were gateways into her soul. The hues would change color and intensity based on her mood. One look could take you on an adventure and the next would destroy you where you stood. The same could be said of her hair, fiery red when she was temperamental and blue when she was sad. She couldn’t hide the nature of how she felt even if she tried, because they were as much a part of her as the blood in her veins. Connected as one, yet separate entities. One look at her and I was instantly hypnotized by how she seemed to transcend her humanity and yet was completely held down to earth at the same time. She was her own yin and yang and quite frankly, it drove me crazy with delight.

     Carefully, I removed the head shot from the top loader and grabbed the number on the back and dialed it into the phone. Pressing send, I watched as the seconds ticked up and the sound of the tone echoed in my ear, then a click, followed by a sultry voice on the other end and with a simple hello, I was reduced to rubble.

Kickstart my Heart.

     It is that time of year, when men everywhere forget to make plans for that romantic getaway, woman weep because they’re single and I can buy a large box of chocolates for $45.00 that only comes with one piece of candy that I like and about 35 pieces that I do not like, which taste no better than a common candy bar at the store. Yes, the Christmas. Er, Valentine’s day is here again.

     I’m not opposed to love, If you manage to find love, fantastic! My main concern is wondering why we need a stationary day to express our appreciation for the person that we’re in love with. Call me crazy, but if you’re in love, finding a day to express appreciation for your significant other should be the easiest thing in the world. Why could you show love for them just as much on August the 15th as you could on February the 14th? The boot to the economy, that is why, plus snow. Fuck you, snow!

     Going outside seems to be a wicked pissah for anything that isn’t going to work or something else that isn’t obligatory in the winter time, but it can be just as fun as any and without the bullshit of macro holidays that have little meaning.

     Which brings me to my next gripe with Valentine’s Day. When everyone is doing it at the same time, doesn’t it lack any semblance of being a special day? There is no surprise factor. Much like a flu shot for the millionth year in a row, it is mundane and routine. I think Valentine’s Day should be randomly assigned to a specific day each year, so that it is slightly more interesting. So starting with 2016, that special day could just as easily be the 25th of May as it is the 14th of February. Watching people scramble only two weeks ahead of time lends to Valentine’s Day the same excitement as a football game or a car chase.

     This single handily increases the worth of the day tenfold, which is great, because the other reason for finding this holiday to be a pissah is walking down the street and seeing all those single zombies slushing by with a grocery bag filled with Häagen-Dazs ice cream to cry and slowly feed themselves to death over the fact they don’t feel worthy of love. That is just the men that I’m talking about, never mind the woman who keep tissues at hand more readily than a teenage boy and feel much worse and drives them to watch movies like Fifty Shades of Grey.

     Speaking of bad decisions, while I’m at it, Valentine’s Day should be put on the schedule list of drugs. “Scientifically” speaking, Valentine’s Day, much like cocaine or heroin, often leads to bad decisions and not just the hideously awesome sweaters that you’ll wear once a year, but choices made out of desperation, just to not be alone when everyone else has someone. Like using dating profiles or worse, binge watching romantic comedies on Netflix. What other worse decisions could possibly be made than watching Four Christmas’ two months after the fact? Come on government, these atrocities need to be prevented, because no American deserves to be tortured by Vince Vaughn’s “acting.” It is inhumane and cruel and unusual punishment on both the psyche and the body, all because someone is single?

     If Valentine’s Day has taught us anything, thought, it is that people need someone validating their “love” like it is a parking garage ticket, which is a shame, because true love should need no affirmation from anyone other than the two people involved.

     The best way to express your feelings for a person isn’t with an expensive hotel room or hundred dollar box of chocolate that comes with a wicked awesome 10ft teddy bear–which in no way have I bought for myself, ever!—but with a simple kiss of appreciation for what your partner brings to the table on any day of the year and not just once. Simple expressions throughout the year make for a lot more than once a year when you try to compete with the world to show people how in love you are. Much like a closeted homosexual, it is obvious to everyone that isn’t you that you aren’t in love.

     Oh well, at least the 15th of February rocks, because 50% off Valentine’s Day candy is the shit!

(Minor corrections on 15 FEB 2015)