Nothing is worse than an imbecile that thinks they know things when they don’t. I never profess to know everything, unless I’m dealing with pukes like this and then I love quoting Issac Asimov with “people who think they know everything are a burden to those of us who do.” And to borrow from Carlin, “it’s not a pet peeve, it’s a major psychotic fuckin hatred.”

It doesn’t get any worse than when it comes to love though. Oh you know the type, they check into relationship after relationship and fail miserably, but they know what real love is. Do you though?

Love isn’t sexual, nor is purely platonic. Love can be graduated on a scale and viewed a great many ways. However, if love is one thing, it’s not about drama, but rather what we might consider to be sacrificing. Now I abore sacrificing, it’s not needed to make a point, and assholes who act like they did something major when they didn’t are equally as fuckin obnoxious as the pissant that thinks they’re experts in everything. Take the assholes in professional wrestling for example, like The Rock, Mr. Two bucks in my pocket and made myself a star. Ugh! 🙄 Wow, good for you. You did what a great many people have done historically in the real world, but for fame. Ain’t you a special little fucker, eh? I digress again.

So back to love, and what most people consider sacrifice, but when you really care about the person, it just comes naturally. I don’t feel like I deserve a gold star for any of this, because I wasn’t in it for that.

So I’ve mentioned before I had only the one girlfriend when I was 12. That’s true. I can assure you, there was no love there. However, the story I never told, but only had snippets of, was my bestie and I.

So it’s November 2007. The 24th to be exact. A few months earlier I found myself in a MySpace chat and met some interesting people. A few of which I’m still friends with. However, the one I spent the most time with, was my bestie. Now she was mostly typical of an average millennial with a few differences. One of which is somehow we managed to coexist in the same space and not want to kill each other, as happens with so many of these other douchebags. This alone intrigued me enough to let her come see me that Thanksgiving. Meeting someone from the internet was something I had only done once before and it was two men to play cards over at the game shop.

Now, somewhere along the line, we went from that one meting, to talking enough online, to spending 90% of 2011 and beyond as much as possible. I was there for nearly every waking, post high school moment. The ups and downs, ebbs and flows of just friendship.

I mean, we ran the gamut of shit. Everything from her crying under a table about her future ex, to her getting mad at me for stupid shit. I mean, I even changed my bedsheets and pillows to her personal preference because she used my bed more than I did for like 4 years, while I often slept on couch. On a couple of occasions, she took the couch and let me have the bed, which was nice of her to let me have my own bed back. lol

There’s the time I only had only one blanket and she got it, while the rements of alcohol and a jacket on top of me was what I had to stay warm.

Me intentionally getting the red neck name tattoo on my chest for her birthday.

Playing the blues together where we switched roles and she played guitar, while I “sang”. Normally she played piano, but she knew some guitar from her dad. It was fun!

Oh that time we bbq’d and later got shit faced and I played guitar and boy did I think I was playing well. lol

The time I went out in the middle of a rain storm to find a copy of DOA 4, so we could play together.

Or the time we got her a tattoo. How about this time she got injured and I made this for her

The time I was sobering up and she made me a coffee, which before hand, nither one of us drank, but in 2011 I started to, and if she hadn’t of used fake sugar, would have probably made me diabetic. I drank every sip out of appreciation. Whislt she tried to explain to me why people like to watch the Kardashians and Jersey Shore.

I learned something more and more every time we spent time together. She left a major mark on me and god are we two vastly different people. No could ever figure out how two people, with such vastly different world views, could make a friendship work. I’d say the same thing then as I would say now, we just love each other. That’s more than enough to keep a friendship going. Wanting to see her achieve her best and go as far as she could. Life seemed like the grinch with all that happened, but he didn’t stop Christmas from coming. It came all the same. It came with no presents, it came without bags, it came in spite of stupid hags.

This, even if it isn’t romantic love, is how you should be looking to establish a relationship of any kind. Caring, compassionate, endearing and filled with zany fun.

One caveat here, I don’t think I could ever do anything like this ever again. I put a hell of a lot into this.

Remember when I said “you don’t start friendships with a contract, so why would you do the same for something as meaningful as love?” When it came to the Gen-Z dating guide. This is that! We didn’t say, hey let’s be here for X amount of time or whatever. It’s just, hey we’re besties. Started with some Tenacious D and the presto, in 2027 we’re celebrating 20 years of friendship. It went by way too fast!

I’m very proud of my best friend and all she accomplished and been through since we met and now, she started her best part yet, motherhood. Something she’s wanted to be since we met and it didn’t happen til now. it was worth every moment I spent, no matter how taxing or difficult some things became. I hope this is her best chapter yet and I’ll be around to see it.

We have a lot of songs we share together and in jokes as well. Here’s one that I’ll let you in on, for every Christmas, then, now and forever.

Stay metal 🤘