Kageoween: The Haunting of Bly Manor

INTRODUCTION: So, I’ve just finished The Haunting of Bly Manor, a sequel season, to an anthology series of haunted houses, all of which, are apparently mansions. Presumably because the ghost of the mansions are subtext for white guilt because Ole Mike here is more successful than you and feels bad about it. I digress though. This is an adaptation of an old gothic horror novella from 1898, one of which I will now make sure to read. Is this “show” worth it though?

STORY/PLOT: An au pair takes a job at a haunted mansion, how original of Netflix, uh? They really pushed the boundaries of a narrative here.

CHARACTERS: Not bad for horror, but could of been better overall. I know he gets praised for developing characters in horror better than horror normally does, but I feel like his development is equal to that of a prepubescent child with hard nipples from the winter chill as opposed to a fully developed adult woman, but for horror, I’ll take whatever I can get. It isn’t always easy to develop characters well anyways.

Once again I find myself dismayed at the LGBTQ representation being the equal to that of a fratboy having fantasies. I mean, I haven’t hand a chance to know every lesbian in my lifetime, but I do know drunken benders that lead to lesbianism, do not seem to be the major narrative in a lot of gay love stories. It’s more dishearten, given he has his wife play another Lesbian character, whom identifies as Bi, so Mike should know better, but atlas, I will have to put up with shitty characters that don’t even have build to them being lesbians, it’s just trust onto us. I mean, he is only 8 years old than I, but is lesbianism really a shock and awe moment? Kind of behind the 8 ball on this one.

ACTING: Mostly shit, except for two actors. The cook and the guy who played the farther in the The Haunting of Hill House.

STYLE/VISUALS: Kind of reminiscent of early 2000’s dramas for me, like The Practice or Boston Legal. Since this story is based in the 1980’s, it works, but still nothing exciting.

WRITING: Very good.

DIALOUGE: I get it’s England, but a lot of it is fuckin’ cringe.

TENSION: Quite splendid for this show. Sadly it was a big let down to nothing of worth at the end. Once again he added in a scare that I didn’t expect and I’m not afraid to admit it. I lothe the heavy reliance on jump scares though.

MUSIC: Forgettable at best. This show’s tension at it’s highest when there isn’t a score anyways, so.

SUBTEXT: Not a lot, but for me it seems to be about legacies and the impression one makes on others, family and friends being the most important, so that one isn’t forgotten about.

CONCLUSION: While the mid-season twist were perfectly predictable, I like the first 5 episodes even better than I the original. Sadly it wears out its welcome by episode 8 and 9 seems like a tedious epilogue that wasn’t needed. My thoughts are the complete opposite with The Haunting of Hill House, which was boring up until the end. I was afraid this was going to go Deus Ex Machina, but that would of been welcome to the let down of an ending we did get. Episode 8 was so out of place, it really seemed tacked on, when it could of been at the beginning of the season and while a diversion from the narrative, it was somewhat integral to see where the story was heading. It’s just one more let down though, but I’ve wasted my time on worse.

3 out of 5 stars.

EDIT: ADDED WRITING AND DIALOUGE BLOCKS. 18 OCT 2020 AT 2:15 PM

Cuties (Editorial)

I have never seen Save the Last Dance or even Dirty Dancing. I don’t tend to like musicals and I absolutely hate dance movies. So this movie wouldn’t have ever of had a review from me to begin with. I see a lot of non-troversty when it comes to this movie though and it isn’t dissimilar from other movies of the 90’s that featured young actress dancing in sexual ways.

I know that the ages of the girls in a lot of those movies are near in or close to 20, and in Cuties, they’re the actual ages they’re supposed to be, but is a fake 15 year old that much different, when there is only a 5 difference between the actress and the character? I don’t think fake child exploitation is much different from real childhood exploration. If we’re to believe that these films embolden pedophiles, that even simulated situations are bad.

I’m not saying that you cannot strongly disagree with this movie, but lets look at Hollywood and a list of things that have happened in Hollywood that are beloved and never got much critics or got too little.

American Beauty has 17 year old nudity.(00s)

Blue Lagoon, 14 year old nudity. (70s)

Playboy, 11 year old nudity.(70s)

Every talk show with “My daughter is a teenage nymptho” (90s)

Wiki on album art here.

it’s literally a keyword on IMDB by clicking here and there is also a wiki dedicated to this here.

That isn’t even the tip of the iceberg in regards to this Hollywood or modeling in general.

There is a lot to be upset about in regards to exposition of minors in movies, TV and internet, but I don’t think this movie is one of those. I see it as a movie about children, who are dancing to a popular dance in their time frame, waring clothes that are no different that girls I went to school with in the 90s and in many cases more age appropriate, I mean, girls in my middle school wore thongs and playboy shirts for fuck sakes. I personally see this as a harmless film, whose best attribute was to get people talking about these things more than they have in the past.

The Wrong Missy, David Spade Revival Theater

INTRODUCTION

Well, it seems Netflix decided what the world needed after nearly two decades of absence was another David Spade flick. Oh joy!

CHARACTERS:
Shit! All the same BS these movies are known for, simple archetypes, if you can call them that.

ACTING:
None have ever been horrible actors, so, unlike this flick, its tolerable.

VISUALS:
Fantastic, which is more than I can say for the rest of the movie.

WRITING:
Shit! Fuckin’ stupid premise, horrible jokes, terrible story overall.

DIALOGUE:
Same as above

MUSIC:
None that I noticed.

SUBTEXT:
Devoid of it

CONCLUSION:
They couldn’t be bothered to make a movie, I can’t be bothered to do much of a review as I have said before. This piece of shit is unfunny. Happy Gilmore is nothing but a group of aging boomers that never grew up and the subject matter shows in this movie. I would say they are attempt to recapture their “glory years” but you would have to have had glory years for that to be true. It’s sad and pathetic group of people that are now stealing money from companies like Netflix, whom will see no fucking return, just to keep their dipshit friends employed within Hollywood. They’re not actors, they’re over glorified welfare recipients. David Spade sent his career to finally visit Chris Farley and after this outing, maybe he should consider doing the same.

0 out of 5 stars.

Sympathy for the Devil: Review of Netflix’s Lucifer.

INTRODUCTION: Lucifer has always been my favorite biblical character. He was so many things and the devil has always had the best domains that he oversaw from science to classical and hard rock music. He was absolutely the hero of the bible and the most interesting of them all. So a TV show that is based a DC “version” of the character that barley changes the original source material of the bible, well, it seems like a recipe for disaster, but with the right casting, potentially hopeful. So is this show worthwhile?

CHARACTERS: Well rounded, albeit a tad bit cliche. Over the current four seasons you really get to know the characters well and develop an attachment for them. I enjoy all the characters for the most part, albeit I’m here for Lucifer as much as the next person.

ACTING: Fantastic all around. It really seems like these guys and gals all enjoy working together and this is never more noticeable then season three when Tom “Smallville” Welling joins the cast and is supposed to be a sort of foil to Lucifer. Unlike when the rest of the actors engage, sometimes to the point where a scene looks like it almost became a blooper reel, the acting falls super flat when it turns to his character. It’s never seemed more awkward at all. The fact this is so easily discernible is a testament to the casting director with his choices. Never been more impressed at casting.

WRITING: Tad trite and formulaic. Still very good over all, albeit a tad lazy at times.

DIALOGUE: Fantastic. No big cringe moments.

STYLE: Late 90s/early 00’s cop show style. Its retro, but a much needed break from all the bleak looking shows on tv right now.

FX: Very surprising for a TV show. I expected worse and it is quite good.

MUSIC: Excellent soundtrack!

SUBTEXT: I think at its core, Lucifer is really about humanity. Lucifer may not seem it, but he is audience character. He may seem larger than life, but for being the devil, his choices are all too human and very relatable. Who hasn’t wanted revenge but had to thwart temptation?

CONCLUSION: This show is amazing, even though it is slightly formulaic and trite. I mean, season three was weakest when the whole thing is essentially a rip off of a major Buffy the Vampire Slayer storyline. If you’re a fan of that show, you’ll be familiar with the Angelus aspect. Still, it is nice to see it get a final season at least. Netflix did a good thing here and who knows, perhaps if season five goes over well, this will get another season. It one of the better shows I’ve seen in years and still adds some freshness to the tired old cop show clichés. Well worth giving a go!

4 out of 5.

Netflix’s The Haunting Of Hill House Series Review

INTRODUCTION

Just got finished watching Netflix new series The Haunting of Hill House. Let’s dive into the finer nuances of the show and see if it’s worth watching.

PLOT
The story focuses on a family that used to live in Hill House, but have now become an estranged family, since their time there. This is nothing like Shirley Jackson’s original 1959 novel, but it is an interesting concept nonetheless.

CHARACTERS
It mostly centers on a family of six, which spent a summer at Hill House. To the series credit it does try to develop the whole family through flashbacks and modern-day storytelling, woven throughout the whole series. Ultimately, though, the series fails to develop the characters will enough for us to care about. They focus too much on the pitfalls of the family and how they become broken as opposed to developing them well-rounded.

ACTING
The acting in this series is actually pretty good, considering it’s a Netflix original, which usually lends itself to be pretty terrible, with the exception of 1922. The weakest point is one of the younger siblings, who becomes a heroin addict, while the strongest acting happens to be the director’s own wife who plays a lesbian. The children actors are also fantastic. Regardless it’s believable that they are real family regardless of time frame they are in.

STYLE
The style of the show was nothing to write home about it looks exactly like everything on television at the moment, so it doesn’t stray from that particular aspect and offers us nothing new in terms of visuals.

SUBTEXT
The show is essentially about family and I think Hill House has become an analogy of how easy it is for things to go south in an instance and change the lives of everyone involved. in this case, it is the possible mental illness of the family.

CONCLUSION
Why the show does somethings correct it fails overall. This show could have been better as a one-off movie instead of a one-off series because if they decide to do a sequel, I have no clue where they’re going to go with such and I don’t know if people are even interested in anything past this. The scares are unoriginal and lame with the exception of one. Story itself is okay minus a few things here and there was just don’t really make sense. At one point the lady playing the lesbian comes up from having just going down on her lover and you can see gash juice on her chin. No straight character, with the exception of Comedy has ever had a scene where where she has come up with cum on her chin. The fact the girl is a lipstick lesbian makes me think the scene was put in only to entice men to watch it. otherwise there was no point to the scene. The build-up to the end just was not there nor was there any tension throughout and the ending wasn’t very satisfactory. Although it was bittersweet and a decent tie up of the whole story.

3 out of 5 stars.