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Kagemas: A review of the IT remake


I was given this for Christmas, so I’m going to give it a review for Kagemas. If you don’t know by now, I really despise the Stephen King novel IT. That said, I don’t necessarily hate the miniseries, it was imperfect, but it still had some charm since Tim Curry gave an otherwise banal character, a personality. I’m reviewing the remake of IT. Is this a good remake or is it a bad remake?


You don’t know by now this book is about a group of children, who are haunted by an evil clown. The clown claims to be Bob Gray, but also uses the name Pennywise. One by one the children are tormented until the clown decides to come and eat them. What sounds like a promising premise, is ultimately destroyed by piss-poor writing, and this movie is no exception, because it’s ultimately two hours of the novel’s greatest hits mixed with a little bit of “fresh” material.


The characters are the whole group of kids, a Motley Crew, if you will, of strange bullied kids. All boys and one chick, but it’s hard to tell each one of them apart, as in the novel, since each one is basically the same character with just a slight flaw and or slight idiosyncrasy that sits there and makes them “different.”Ultimately none of these kids are relatable to you. They are nothing like when I was a kid, this was true of the miniseries as well, but the kids are acting the made up for the lack of relatability and it was believable that the kids in the miniseries were friends. Here it just seems like actors. By the end of this movie, you will hope Pennywise wins,that’s not what happens, as if you didn’t already know and that is a very big let down.

Style/ effects

Nothing really new that set it apart, typical Maine from all the Stephen King movies with the brick architecture, the Mills buildings and everything like that.

FX are dated as all hell, from the headless kid on the stairwell, that look and moved like terrible stop motion. The leper from the book, he looked creepy as hell, but also moved like a shity skeleton from Jason and the Argonauts. I get it, new IT is based in the 80s, but do we really need a stop motion reference to Nightmare on Elm Street part 3? Although I do like the poster that was in the background. The biggest question is how are these kids supposed to be scared of these no-name things including the very horribly produced female like ghost Creature From The Conjuring movie like that? All of them were banal no name ghost, shit ghost. You could have included David S Pumpkins to round off the whole non branded, lame “scary” characters thing. Warner Bros owns the rights to Nightmare on Elm Street and Jason from Friday the 13th? So the fact they didn’t treat this like the novel and updated with the new monsters that would hunt children’s youth back then, is a missed opportunity.

The ballons were CGI, except in close ups. The FX were dated as hell. It seems like WB didn’t care, they just wanted to the cash in on this and hopefully make some money and they ultimately did. There’s nothing wrong with making money, but you know what, if you’re going to sit there and take a franchise like this that for most people, is beloved even if I hated it, you could at least put some fucking care into the goddamn fucking creation of this. Warner Bros could not even make the DVD well. The DVD has two of them, one just for bonus disc the other for the movie. I don’t know if they are trying to be retro or they’re just lazy and incompetent but the case is flimsy as hell. I can push on it and nearly destroy the DVD. Even though FBI warnings are retro as fuck, and Sound quality sucks. There’s just so much wrong with the presentation and production.

Acting is mostly decent, there’s nothing overly bad here whatsoever. I would like to add in the fact that, regardless of people’s reviews or fandom, Pennywise is not as good as they like to claim. It is not a horrible interpretation, but it is far from Tim Curry, and this is not the Heath Ledger version of Pennywise, there’s definitely room for improvement in the better actor could bring more to this role.

Read my book review on this and then you realize at the end, I had nothing more to say on this, other than the fact that it would seem to me, that the subtext is this group of kids are really a bunch of murderers, that invented Pennywise, in order to deal and cope with what they did when they were kids. That subtext, is slightly more visible in this movie that I think they meant to.

I really hope WB learns from the mistakes of this DVD as well as the mistakes of this movie because there’s a second part coming out in 2019 and I am so not looking forward to it. I may not be the biggest fan of this franchise, but I did grow up reading Stephen King and enjoying his books. At the end of the day this was a blatant cash grab, updated to the late 80s and what it gave us was bad effects, all right acting, no real connection to the characters, poor writing and nothing really new to write home about. It is an abysmal failure of a movie, but it made money, so in Hollywood that means it was a stellar success and you are going to sit there capitalize by pumping out Stephen King movies. In 2019 besides IT part 2, we’re getting a remake of Pet Sematary, another mediocre movie based on a Stephen King novel. I personally would avoid this and any of the remakes of his flicks, as none of the originals were even that good. The books are better. If you’re going to sit there and waste time just go read the book. I give this movie

2 out of 5 stars.

For a company that said it wasn’t going to do the child gang fuck because it was “going to far.” They sure had no problem putting a teen in her skives and letting boys gawk at her, which seems just as bad. Not to mention, Hollywood is ass kissing the me too movement but there was two non consensual kisses in this. I guess that is why I review them and they make them, because they are clearly people who have their shit together./sarcasm

Castle Rock Series Review


Today we’re going to look at the JJ Abrams produced Castle Rock for HULU. Castle Rock is named after a town in a lot of Stephen King novels. So is Castle Rock worthy of being part of Stephen King’s world? We will find out.


The plot focuses around a young black man, who is being raised by white parents in Castle Rock, Maine. One day he goes missing and is later found on the lake without hypothermia or any frostbite, he might even be the potential killer of his adopted father. In typical Stephen King fashion, none of this is truly as it seems and ultimately it leads to a weird ending.


The best developed character happens to be the main lead, who is super fantastic. The rest of the cast is pretty decent. Only two characters really seem to stand out besides the main character, those are the adoptive mother and the weird mute prisoner.


Style is decent, doesn’t really strayed too much from typical television fare at the moment, but otherwise, it is fine.


Very good, nothing seems awkward and everything seems genuine, even in a story about the supernatural.


Castle Rock is not your typical scary show, if anything it is more reminiscent of the X-Files in the 90s. Sadly it’s not as interesting or engaging as the X-Files was, but it has potential here and there. If you are looking for straight up scary, this is not it. This is tension building up until the final moments which you may find intriguing. I personally do not like any of this whatsoever. Occasionally there is an interesting aspect but it’s only cringe, never really scary. I love all the Easter eggs to Stephen King stories but ultimately none of that is really worthwhile if you have to sit through a show this painful to watch. I find that this show is always pretty bland when it could be a lot more intriguing and I don’t see myself watching any more seasons. I think you will feel the same way too. Should you find yourself wanting to watch this, feel free to, but otherwise I give it a :

3 out of 5 stars

Kagemas: 1922 movie review

Ho, ho, ho, merry Christmas. How I loathe this season. Idiots crowding the malls, poor people spending even more than they earn and kids acting like entitle little shits. Tis the season to be jolly, fa la la la, la la, la la. So what better way to start off Kagemas then with 1922, a Netflix “original” based on the Stephen King Novella, of which I have not read. If you love Miracle on 34th Street and other feel good family, well, you’re in for a treat, because this shit is the complete antithesis of it.

Dude is poor with a family on a farm in 1922. Everything is fine, until plot twist, greed takes over. See, I told you this was a great choice to start off Kagemas, it is exactly what this season is about, greed, gluttony, fat ass spoiled children and annoying family members you want to kill, which incidentally, is exactly what the Punisher or Thomas Jane, if you want to get technical about it, does. Long story short, ghost, dying and rats about sum up this claptrap.

None of them are develop whatsoever. We basically go from happy family for 22 mins which leads directly to killing the wife. It is all downhill from here as his son takes a girl he likes with him and goes off ala Bonny and Clyde, both die. Thomas Jane loses a hand. The best developed characters are the rats.

I like the cold tone it has throughout. It doesn’t look very cheap, even though it clearly was.

Superb from all of them. Shit, too bad this movie was such fuckin rubbish and a waste of fuckin talent.

1922 is a horrible, unoriginal pile of dung, filled with shallow characters, lack of development, decent visuals and pretty great acting. Like an aging rock star, it is a shell of what it could have been, without the benefit of being a great once was.

1 out of 5 stars.