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Why it’s ok to think your partner is ugly.

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I know I’ll catch a bit of shit for this, but I have a valid reason for it.

You won’t always find your partner attractive and that’s normal and natural. It’s how you engage and act after thinking that, that really matters and here is why.

So, we’re evolutionary prone to stay away from things that hurt us. Disease, being one of the major things. You’re learned from Covid that quarantines sometimes work. We learned this in childhood when our parents had us stay in our bedrooms to prevent other family members from getting sick.

What’s one way our parents or friends noticed. “You don’t look so good” is normally what is said, or something similar to this.

So even though your partner isn’t Family by blood, unless you’re from Kentucky, they’re still a loved one. Especially when you have kids involved.

So it’s more than permissible to find your partner to be unattractive from time to time. Especially when they’re sick. It’s a natural trait of human empathy to want to see the sick in an unflattering light, ironic though it may be.

Think of the novel Lolita. Humbert makes poor Delores put out, even when she’s sick. A human being cares for their partner and puts them first. They’re more than just a vagina or dick.

Thinking your partner to be unattractive actually presents you in a flattering way, instead of narrasstic. however, like above, tactful presentation is key.

Think of the 2008 campaign trail where John McCain got shit on for leaving his first wife with cancer and rightfully so. That’s a rather poor way of going about it. I know it’s easy for me to say, given the whole I’ve been single for years, however being a serial monogamist gives you no more special knowledge than a dude that set out being a CAD.

However, much like your partner and you, this is not about one single individual, rather it’s about the idea behind being selfless in selfishness. Oxymoronically though it may be, there can be far less conceit in selfishness than selflessness.

I’ve pointed out before that a child between two people act as a blood bond, a sacrament and as such, makes your partner equal to family.

However, since you’re not genuinely blood, there isn’t the same need to stay with said partner in today’s day and age. However, you both develop independent needs to protect said child or children. That’s a selfish concept. You give your kids what you can, because it pleases you, the individual to give to them. Like with all things in life, context is key to understanding.

This brings me back to the topic at hand, which is to say that finding your partner unattractive may seem selfish in the sense people try to tie the word to anything negative, however, wouldn’t you be better off acknowledging that feeling instead of being insecure that it makes you seem negative? What’s more selfish in that regard?

I’m against morality as a concept, because I see it as childish. However, I do believe in right from wrong and that we have 4 biological imperatives. The 4th is the most no shit Sherlock thing ever, I almost never include it and leave it to the three major ones. Don’t rape, don’t steal, don’t kill and the 4th is don’t incest.

Finding your partner ugly doesn’t count as one of the major four, so it’s regaled to basic right from wrong. It’s never wrong to think things through. Bad thoughts are not tantamount to bad actions.

It’s good to have a fantasy outside of your partner for instance. Porn is good for giving you an ethical “cheat card” to think of someone that isn’t your partner as an option. cheating would be the worse option.

Thinking your partner unattractive is the same as the above.

Remember, sometimes love requires asymmetrical trains of thought. It’s not criminal to find your wife or girlfriend unattractive from time to time, it is however horrible to dump them for not living up to a bullshit standard you can’t even live up to 24 hours a day.

Stay metal 🤘

Writing

KAGEGIVING: Axis Bold as Love (2025)

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DISC ONE

So disc one is all stereo versions of Jimi’s songs. That’s great if you’re into it. Personally I prefer listening in the original mono versions. How there isn’t anything inherently wrong with these versions either. It’s just one more way to enjoy Jimi Hendrix and to rediscover some great music in different way.

DISC TWO

Classic Jimi Hendrix mode and nothing you need to to review with more depth. The music speaks for itself and that is the shining point of any album.

DISK THREE

Some new and interesting. Experimental guitar track being my favorite and the most interesting, especially given the Hendrix learning I’ve been doing. Sounds like it’s possibly the uni vibe giving this song its unique flavor. The 69 vibe emulates this well.

A whole lot of different takes. Love it!

DISC FOUR

The live versions of past works is where it’s at here and the different styles. Foxy Lady is a heavy as it’s ever been.

CONCLUSION:

Jimi Hendrix is Jimi Hendrix and you can’t really spell it out better than that. Unlike the previous release that was mostly alternate takes, this blend’s reinvention for a modern era with the past, as well as some new goodies to discover. That’s a really fantastic deal for a remake of a 50 year old album.

So is this something to be thankful for? Hell yeah!

5 outta 5

Writing

Can Method Acting increase your musicianship?

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So, when I was a child, in elementary school, my gym teacher decided she needed to enact her facism tendencies on the whole of the 5th grade class with an atrocious Christmas play. She was never overly fond of me and unlucky for her, I ended up with the student of the month write up from it.

However, I done acting very few times in my life, I’ve come to appreciate some things about acting that I couldn’t really appreciate in my youth and that is a form of method acting, albeit slightly lesser in scale because I don’t go about getting acting gigs or forcing your fellow thespians to only refer to said person as said character to their utter annoyance.

So it started in 2008, when I was looking for ways to get deeper into the headspace of things I didn’t particularly understand, specifically crime. This was to help with cultivating my “book”, Pre-Crime. However, I used it to help create characters in my novel ideas, or screenplays. Whatever I was writing at the time. I then turned to using it to get better at guitar and I find it works very well.

So what I normally do is I will shave my beard or facial hair similar to the artist in question if they have any.

Jimi Hendrix style mustache

Next thing I do is go to Amazon and look at clothing styles similar to the ones said artists have and cultivate a look that is closer to them in the time frame and then try to modernize it, as if they were walking around today, assuming they’re still alive or not.

I go back to Amazon as often as I need to in order to get my minds eye in direction of the “character” so to speak.

This is a new touch, but I used to photoshop if need be, however thanks to the AI I can create images that help me better interpret the artist in question.

I listen to their music as much as possible and attempt to get into that headspace. I may try and create similar riffs or something as well, in order to get a deeper understanding.

I try to visualize how a movie or biopic could look, starting said individual musician. This helps to get a better feel for how said person is interpreted via different mediums like interviews.

I may buy myself a new guitar that is similar to said individual, because sometimes having said style guitar can help you facilitate a deeper connection to the musicians you like.

If you can get pedals to work on a tone, that is helpful too.

You don’t have to restrict yourself to just people that play your instrument. I improved my bass line playing on guitar by doing that same with Lemmy as I did with Hendrix.

I’ve done this about 4 or so times over the years and I personally think it helps.

At worst, it’s a fun waste of time, trying to better put yourself into the shoes of another human that’s deeper than just understanding where they’re coming from. It’s black like me, that documentary from the 1970s but without the benefit of it helping others integrate into society.

If anyone decides to try this, let me know if it works for you.

Stay Metal

🤘

Writing

Core Arguments against marriage.

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The annoying people, aka celebrities and influencers, are trying to make marriage trendy as if it’s a positive thing. Here’s why marriage is worthless and how Gen Z can correct the course of love for future generations.

So the baby boomer brigade ruined the sanctity of marriage pretty much permanently, however, of all the stupid shit the boomers have done, this might actually be one of their best contributions to society as a whole.

If you don’t know by now, most boomers are NPD as fuck. Their idiotic millennial children are mostly the same way. They cared too much about the frivolous nature of fitting in and in that, they are annoying as all hell. However, that need drove marriage into the garbage where it belongs. The alleged number of failed marriages for a boomer is 7.

That’s a lot of fucking up. I mean, this is the generation that gave birth to 1980s materialism. So they were born to make marriage successful, right?

Marriage was the original 1980s materialism movement, yet instead of money and bank accounts, you got tracts of land, power and a fetted goat. What of it? Well, that doesn’t strike you as a ritual based on love, right?

What you’re seeing in the news lately when you see a celebrity getting married is undoubtedly a PR move, more so than a love move. I mean, celebrities are the second biggest group of fuck ups that aren’t boomers and millennials and when were celebrities ever known for being able to keep a relationship going?

The celebrity stereotype in my youth was all press is good press, so keep jumping into affair after affair to keep yourself relevant.

Ideally, you marry for love, not power or money. You both start on a semi even keel and build a life together. The science says for men it’s slightly across and down. For women, it across and up.

So an example of this would be college educated students. Ivy League man, state school women. State school man, community college women. Community college man, high school graduate and high school graduate man, high school drop out. Those are the likely barometric data for that.

Same would be true of degrees. PH.D Male, Masters degree female. masters degree male, four year degree female. Four year degree male, high school diploma female. High school diploma male, dropped out female.

Each one is slightly across and down for a male and slightly across and up for a female.

That’s easy to understand. What about houses or cars, or celebrity status, or other bullshit? If you have 19 rooms, do you have to date someone with a paltry 12? No, the easiest barometer is the fiscal status. Slightly across and down would be millionaire to half a million. So you tally all fiscal shit and do it the easiest way you can, however, that’s not love. Yet, that is exactly what marriage was intended for, during its heyday of the Middle Ages.

So my arguments against marriage have been these over the years.

  1. It’s mostly for the female anyways. Men don’t really care for the ceremony.
  2. . It’s mostly just a structure for children
  3. It’s a bad deal for most involved past a certain time frame and the pooling of resources.
  4. Love is better than a ceremony
  5. It’s a failure more often than not
  6. People put too much stock in having to make it last forever.

What the conclusion should be, is that marriage, when people try to adapt to it, turns them into toxic people and ruins the state of love.

So what can Gen Z do to combat this? Besides overturning the system and starting from scratch, civil unions are your best bet. Why? Cause a civil union doesn’t homogenize your finances, it doesn’t care about your cars, ect.

Its sole reason for existence was a work around to gays wanting the benefits of marriage, but people wouldn’t allow them. It says the state recognizes your love and gives you the most important benefits of all, making meaningful plans that positively affect each other. Such as medical decisions or similar situations. Thus, remaking marriage into a more meaningful and purposeful system again, instead of a decedent ceremony over stuff.

So it would be wise for Gen Z to not fall for the idiocy of celebrities trying to get a shitty system over, for the sake of attempting to stimulate population growth or whatever the goal is. 99% of the celebrities married probably have never been in love, have no clue what love is and did it for the PR. Gotta stay relevant somehow, uh?

However, this isn’t an indictment on love, but how love as been cast aside in favor of worthless attention seeking behavior.

Take me for example, I made power play after power play throughout my youth, intentionally taxing myself out of the Insanity of millennial and boomers bullshit and I got amply rewarded each time. If I didn’t do what I did, I wouldn’t have found my best friend and that love was way more important to my life trajectory than anything else I could have gotten from a marriage. It helped fix the basis of pre-crime, it helped set the stage for Bestinyourgirl and made our friendship more rewarding.

Quite frankly, in New England, I wasn’t going to do much better than that in the millennial age range and judging from the rest of the internet, wasn’t going to do much better in general across the US either.

I, however, personally preferred a meaningful friendship over marriage any day of the week.

I pointed out in a previous post, I’m old, not pathetic. So I may as well point out the pathetic and problematic veneer of marriage and point to a brighter future that the Gen Z kids could cultivate.

As John Lennon pointed out, all you need is love.

In closing, Make Love Great Again

Stay metal 🤘

Writing

Wanna know what love is? I’ll show you.

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Nothing is worse than an imbecile that thinks they know things when they don’t. I never profess to know everything, unless I’m dealing with pukes like this and then I love quoting Issac Asimov with “people who think they know everything are a burden to those of us who do.” And to borrow from Carlin, “it’s not a pet peeve, it’s a major psychotic fuckin hatred.”

It doesn’t get any worse than when it comes to love though. Oh you know the type, they check into relationship after relationship and fail miserably, but they know what real love is. Do you though?

Love isn’t sexual, nor is purely platonic. Love can be graduated on a scale and viewed a great many ways. However, if love is one thing, it’s not about drama, but rather what we might consider to be sacrificing. Now I abore sacrificing, it’s not needed to make a point, and assholes who act like they did something major when they didn’t are equally as fuckin obnoxious as the pissant that thinks they’re experts in everything. Take the assholes in professional wrestling for example, like The Rock, Mr. Two bucks in my pocket and made myself a star. Ugh! 🙄 Wow, good for you. You did what a great many people have done historically in the real world, but for fame. Ain’t you a special little fucker, eh? I digress again.

So back to love, and what most people consider sacrifice, but when you really care about the person, it just comes naturally. I don’t feel like I deserve a gold star for any of this, because I wasn’t in it for that.

So I’ve mentioned before I had only the one girlfriend when I was 12. That’s true. I can assure you, there was no love there. However, the story I never told, but only had snippets of, was my bestie and I.

So it’s November 2007. The 24th to be exact. A few months earlier I found myself in a MySpace chat and met some interesting people. A few of which I’m still friends with. However, the one I spent the most time with, was my bestie. Now she was mostly typical of an average millennial with a few differences. One of which is somehow we managed to coexist in the same space and not want to kill each other, as happens with so many of these other douchebags. This alone intrigued me enough to let her come see me that Thanksgiving. Meeting someone from the internet was something I had only done once before and it was two men to play cards over at the game shop.

Picture I drew of her and what she was wearing when we first met.

Now, somewhere along the line, we went from that one meting, to talking enough online, to spending 90% of 2011 and beyond as much as possible. I was there for nearly every waking, post high school moment. The ups and downs, ebbs and flows of just friendship.

I mean, we ran the gamut of shit. Everything from her crying under a table about her future ex, to her getting mad at me for stupid shit. I mean, I even changed my bedsheets and pillows to her personal preference because she used my bed more than I did for like 4 years, while I often slept on couch. On a couple of occasions, she took the couch and let me have the bed, which was nice of her to let me have my own bed back. lol

The bed sheets and pillows in question

There’s the time I only had only one blanket and she got it, while the rements of alcohol and a jacket on top of me was what I had to stay warm.

Me intentionally getting the red neck name tattoo on my chest for her birthday.

Red neck tattoo 🤘

Playing the blues together where we switched roles and she played guitar, while I “sang”. Normally she played piano, but she knew some guitar from her dad. It was fun!

Oh that time we bbq’d and later got shit faced and I played guitar and boy did I think I was playing well. lol

The time I went out in the middle of a rain storm to find a copy of DOA 4, so we could play together.

Or the time we got her a tattoo. How about this time she got injured and I made this for her

The time I was sobering up and she made me a coffee, which before hand, nither one of us drank, but in 2011 I started to, and if she hadn’t of used fake sugar, would have probably made me diabetic. I drank every sip out of appreciation. Whislt she tried to explain to me why people like to watch the Kardashians and Jersey Shore.

I learned something more and more every time we spent time together. She left a major mark on me and god are we two vastly different people. No could ever figure out how two people, with such vastly different world views, could make a friendship work. I’d say the same thing then as I would say now, we just love each other. That’s more than enough to keep a friendship going. Wanting to see her achieve her best and go as far as she could. Life seemed like the grinch with all that happened, but he didn’t stop Christmas from coming. It came all the same. It came with no presents, it came without bags, it came in spite of stupid hags.

This, even if it isn’t romantic love, is how you should be looking to establish a relationship of any kind. Caring, compassionate, endearing and filled with zany fun.

One caveat here, I don’t think I could ever do anything like this ever again. I put a hell of a lot into this.

Remember when I said “you don’t start friendships with a contract, so why would you do the same for something as meaningful as love?” When it came to the Gen-Z dating guide. This is that! We didn’t say, hey let’s be here for X amount of time or whatever. It’s just, hey we’re besties. Started with some Tenacious D and the presto, in 2027 we’re celebrating 20 years of friendship. It went by way too fast!

I’m very proud of my best friend and all she accomplished and been through since we met and now, she started her best part yet, motherhood. Something she’s wanted to be since we met and it didn’t happen til now. it was worth every moment I spent, no matter how taxing or difficult some things became. I hope this is her best chapter yet and I’ll be around to see it.

We have a lot of songs we share together and in jokes as well. Here’s one that I’ll let you in on, for every Christmas, then, now and forever.

Stay metal 🤘

Writing

KAGEOWEEN: The Door, psychological horror

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So I’ve mentioned before I’ve been working on this since 2022. I finally scored it and edited together a rough cut and I do mean rough. It needs about 10 more mins to make me happy with it, however I’m posting it anyways.

So originally the concept was about a clock in my 20s and the passage of time, especially as a writer. However, that never came to be because the tech I was using sucked and looked nothing like a film. However, Apple has caught up with really good tech and allowed me to create my student film that should have been done 17 years earlier. For those in the back, let me reiterate, I was 22 when I got that camera and I’ll be 40 in about 5 months. So yeah, a long ass time.

It needs work, but it has potential I figured.

The Door: Rough Cut