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Wanna know what love is? I’ll show you.

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Nothing is worse than an imbecile that thinks they know things when they don’t. I never profess to know everything, unless I’m dealing with pukes like this and then I love quoting Issac Asimov with “people who think they know everything are a burden to those of us who do.” And to borrow from Carlin, “it’s not a pet peeve, it’s a major psychotic fuckin hatred.”

It doesn’t get any worse than when it comes to love though. Oh you know the type, they check into relationship after relationship and fail miserably, but they know what real love is. Do you though?

Love isn’t sexual, nor is purely platonic. Love can be graduated on a scale and viewed a great many ways. However, if love is one thing, it’s not about drama, but rather what we might consider to be sacrificing. Now I abore sacrificing, it’s not needed to make a point, and assholes who act like they did something major when they didn’t are equally as fuckin obnoxious as the pissant that thinks they’re experts in everything. Take the assholes in professional wrestling for example, like The Rock, Mr. Two bucks in my pocket and made myself a star. Ugh! 🙄 Wow, good for you. You did what a great many people have done historically in the real world, but for fame. Ain’t you a special little fucker, eh? I digress again.

So back to love, and what most people consider sacrifice, but when you really care about the person, it just comes naturally. I don’t feel like I deserve a gold star for any of this, because I wasn’t in it for that.

So I’ve mentioned before I had only the one girlfriend when I was 12. That’s true. I can assure you, there was no love there. However, the story I never told, but only had snippets of, was my bestie and I.

So it’s November 2007. The 24th to be exact. A few months earlier I found myself in a MySpace chat and met some interesting people. A few of which I’m still friends with. However, the one I spent the most time with, was my bestie. Now she was mostly typical of an average millennial with a few differences. One of which is somehow we managed to coexist in the same space and not want to kill each other, as happens with so many of these other douchebags. This alone intrigued me enough to let her come see me that Thanksgiving. Meeting someone from the internet was something I had only done once before and it was two men to play cards over at the game shop.

Picture I drew of her and what she was wearing when we first met.

Now, somewhere along the line, we went from that one meting, to talking enough online, to spending 90% of 2011 and beyond as much as possible. I was there for nearly every waking, post high school moment. The ups and downs, ebbs and flows of just friendship.

I mean, we ran the gamut of shit. Everything from her crying under a table about her future ex, to her getting mad at me for stupid shit. I mean, I even changed my bedsheets and pillows to her personal preference because she used my bed more than I did for like 4 years, while I often slept on couch. On a couple of occasions, she took the couch and let me have the bed, which was nice of her to let me have my own bed back. lol

The bed sheets and pillows in question

There’s the time I only had only one blanket and she got it, while the rements of alcohol and a jacket on top of me was what I had to stay warm.

Me intentionally getting the red neck name tattoo on my chest for her birthday.

Red neck tattoo 🤘

Playing the blues together where we switched roles and she played guitar, while I “sang”. Normally she played piano, but she knew some guitar from her dad. It was fun!

Oh that time we bbq’d and later got shit faced and I played guitar and boy did I think I was playing well. lol

The time I went out in the middle of a rain storm to find a copy of DOA 4, so we could play together.

Or the time we got her a tattoo. How about this time she got injured and I made this for her

The time I was sobering up and she made me a coffee, which before hand, nither one of us drank, but in 2011 I started to, and if she hadn’t of used fake sugar, would have probably made me diabetic. I drank every sip out of appreciation. Whislt she tried to explain to me why people like to watch the Kardashians and Jersey Shore.

I learned something more and more every time we spent time together. She left a major mark on me and god are we two vastly different people. No could ever figure out how two people, with such vastly different world views, could make a friendship work. I’d say the same thing then as I would say now, we just love each other. That’s more than enough to keep a friendship going. Wanting to see her achieve her best and go as far as she could. Life seemed like the grinch with all that happened, but he didn’t stop Christmas from coming. It came all the same. It came with no presents, it came without bags, it came in spite of stupid hags.

This, even if it isn’t romantic love, is how you should be looking to establish a relationship of any kind. Caring, compassionate, endearing and filled with zany fun.

One caveat here, I don’t think I could ever do anything like this ever again. I put a hell of a lot into this.

Remember when I said “you don’t start friendships with a contract, so why would you do the same for something as meaningful as love?” When it came to the Gen-Z dating guide. This is that! We didn’t say, hey let’s be here for X amount of time or whatever. It’s just, hey we’re besties. Started with some Tenacious D and the presto, in 2027 we’re celebrating 20 years of friendship. It went by way too fast!

I’m very proud of my best friend and all she accomplished and been through since we met and now, she started her best part yet, motherhood. Something she’s wanted to be since we met and it didn’t happen til now. it was worth every moment I spent, no matter how taxing or difficult some things became. I hope this is her best chapter yet and I’ll be around to see it.

We have a lot of songs we share together and in jokes as well. Here’s one that I’ll let you in on, for every Christmas, then, now and forever.

Stay metal 🤘

Writing

KAGEOWEEN: The Door, psychological horror

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So I’ve mentioned before I’ve been working on this since 2022. I finally scored it and edited together a rough cut and I do mean rough. It needs about 10 more mins to make me happy with it, however I’m posting it anyways.

So originally the concept was about a clock in my 20s and the passage of time, especially as a writer. However, that never came to be because the tech I was using sucked and looked nothing like a film. However, Apple has caught up with really good tech and allowed me to create my student film that should have been done 17 years earlier. For those in the back, let me reiterate, I was 22 when I got that camera and I’ll be 40 in about 5 months. So yeah, a long ass time.

It needs work, but it has potential I figured.

The Door: Rough Cut

Writing

Gen X vs Millennial: The Proof is in the pudding

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I may not be that old, however, I’m still old enough to have seen come pretty cool shit in my lifetime. One of which was seeing Gen X in their attempt at fame. Gen Z should take notes,, because your parents generation did it right when it came to fame.

Never has this song probably been more accurate

So I didn’t grow up where the conditions to aspire to being worthless like most people in my age range apparently. I mean, acting sucked and I found that out the hard way because my lesbian gym teacher had to force her play down our throats at school. No one in my age range could play and instrument, so even trying a band was out of the question. Short of porn and what teenage male wouldn’t have thought of it, Hollywood desires were really lame.

Then along came YouTube in my 20s, which gave way to a whole bunch of autistic nobodies that craved social acceptance and well, entertainment hasn’t been right or worthwhile in decades.

However, while I’ve always been the anti-celebrity guy, even in my youth, there was a time when I found myself impressed with relative unknowns making an attempt at being part of the privacy challenged brigade and that was Gen X.

I know most people have confused me for a Gen X’er 99% of my life and never really got why, however, I don’t make the criteria for more than just being an Xenial at best. So we can rule out relatable aspects making me more accepting here. As a general rule, I don’t have to relate to someone or something to appreciate it or them. It can happen from time to time, but not necessarily the a big factor.

So the internet was in its infancy back in the 90s and analog equipment still ruled. This is important to understand, since a vacuous imbecile couldn’t just share an ignorant opinion and get dozens of likes for it. You had to want it and you had to mean it.

I appreciate their hustle, a drive which I could never relate to back then. I still can’t relate to it, because it is a far better work ethic than my own, as I go for low hanging fruit and prefer it. If you ever seen my sex life, you’d be like “oh he ain’t kidding.”

Live footage of me with anything that I think is beneath me /sarcasm

That’s young 20 somethings, at the time, knew how to take what was historically 30k or more in 1970s equipment and in the 1990s turn it into better than a Misfits recording. They still weren’t perfect, but had I been a boomer executive in Hollywood, I would have been flabbergasted at how people so young with no professional experience could exhibit such a high degree of learning. Remember, this is how Insane Clown Posse and Eminem made their way on to the scene.

Even upwards of 2005, right as YouTube started, I found myself hanging out and listening to the Celtic punk sound of possible flogging mollys or drop kick murphies that could become huge. Too bad that’s when Gen X dropped everything and became family men. While there is nothing wrong with that, I’ve been plagued by the idea that had Gen X managed to figure out social media, the landscape of music would be so much better than it became, which is the complete opposite of how I thought on the 90s of how many Stephen kings could exist if there was a better set up or even better bands than the Beatles.

You have some decent millennial YouTubers out there, still though, nothing out there is quite right, as it should be. Maybe it has to do with being so young and everything was new. Going out late at night and getting home late or other things that helped to increase the times in which I would be exposed to this, which is a small part of it. However, I don’t think it’s the sole reason for all of it.

I wish I still had access to those mix tapes some random Gen X band handed out in the parking lot of Ozzfest, promoting a potential promising rookie band.

Now that Gen Z has had some time and are producing some promising things, it’s kinda changing, but not drastically enough. Maybe some of them need to get their parents to break out their old analog gear and teach them how to utilize it. I know I learned a bit from them, that part of the reason I can mix sounds pretty well, taking an Interest in what they were doing. Could give Gen Z an edge over the talking heads of idiot millennials that failed school, but still need to ADHD clip their way to an opinion that offers nothing. it’s not too late to take it back and move away from the idiocracy that entrainment has become. Threads is filled with some of this, so I know it’s true. Just up to Gen Z to figure out how to do it better.

Stay metal 🤘

Writing

Souled Out!

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“You damn right I’m a sell out, I’ve sold out arenas”-Triple H Monday Night Raw from like 20 years ago.

So if you know anything about me, you know I’ve been against unnecessary drug use since I was young. I was mostly straight edge up until 25 when I decided to actually drink. I did, however, have a few drinks with my best friend before then.

However, in today’s day and age, one cannot be overly picky in applying to jobs, which is why I figured I would write about this. I’m selling out and applied to a job at a weed dispensary.

To be fair, this isn’t really my first time around this shit. My father owned a bong shop in Salem Massachusetts in the 1990s. It started in 1995 to be exact and last til about 1998. So I went from 9 to 12 years old by the time it was all said and done. However, it afford me a pretty good childhood at times, so who can really complain?

The stories I have about the era make Hollywood seem tame by comparison. I mean, one time a radio station went to my dad and a bunch of other local business men to get them to sponsor having Marylin Manson come to Massachusetts before he was banned. So let that sink in. I don’t really know how close this was to ever happening to be fair, but it was 90s and Manson was a young rookie in the industry, so it would have been substantially easier to make happen with a young 20 something than a man who would command more now.

However, that ran into a snag, because of local police corruption. Which is another article entirely.

Now, the USA is on the verge of full legalization, which is nice to see, given that much like my dad, I believe it’s use is a personal choice and up to the sole user. I don’t approve of all drugs, nor would I choose to partake in such myself, for a lot of reasons, but marijaunna is the least offensive on the list of scheduled drugs and I’ve been in favor of it since at least 2004.

Maine has been decriminalized with weed since 1999, so getting used to people smoking, vs in Massachusetts where it more recently has been decriminalized, was something I had to get used to and fast.

Now even Trump is looking at a weed and possibly changing its destination. So maybe in this case, I’m not so much selling out as adapting to the changing landscape.

It’s definitely not the most ideal job for me, truth be known, but I mean, I’ve hung out with the weirdos my whole life and beat the shit out of the popular kids in school, so it’s kinda fitting. Ironically, with the exception of a couple times in my life, historically the popular kids were druggies in my youth. Shit, I recall one time in school, the popular kids claiming they were doing cocaine. Not people I wanted around me, even with his bong shop: said kids also brought vodka to school once. I digress though.

Regardless, I’m sure I could excel at this job. I’ve made dozens of sales over the years and been very good at everything I’ve touched, plus I’m no longer at the age where people will pay me to keep my clothes one, it’s now expected or it “sir, you’re scaring the Walmart guest.” So Onlyfans is out of the question. I guess the only thing left to say is, who wants to buy some weed?

Stay metal 🤘

Writing

Is it Real Celebrity or a Facade?

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So social media is pretty fuckin old now. Facebook is twenty, X formerly Twitter is approaching it and the various other forms are catching up.

So, I didn’t grow up a social media native like the Gen Z youth did. Back in my, social media was something like a book, roller dex or who you worked with.

Now with that in mind, these platforms have various ways of “verifying” you. The “celebrity” checkmark as I’ve called it over the years or other identifying marks aren’t necessarily as real as they seem.

For instance, when I started Bestinyourgirl I paid to promote the facebook page and got like 300 or so likes before I ended the campaign. I looked at the engagement rate for it. That page never got and engagement, so I stopped using it entirely because it wasn’t worth posting to, with nothing happening.

My X account got some engagement, but it was mostly non followers. The followers of which I got were mostly fake Japanese accounts with the egg and kanji.

The engagement rate just wasn’t there.

I’ve deleted my instagram account multiple times over the years because instagram has a child fetish that upsold me dozens of very young modeling pages. So I can’t speak to any real engagement back then.

However, I’ve paid enough attention to Hollywood, Wrestling and other accounts and noticed a pattern a couple of years in. Legit engagement is 10 or so likes per 100 followers. So if you take the cap of 2 million or so followers that most of the legit celebrities have, albeit some exceptions like Pewdie pie, by the time you reach that barometer, you have about a quarter million or so legit “fans” that actively engage with your social platforms.

The rest are just for show and can be regaled to the wannabe aera of obscurity where most people still belong, including most celebrities.

However, I would say if This formula is accurate, a better label might be a purple label, since fans and a passion color would indicate a more accurate barometer of why they’re following your account.

Bestinyourgirl for instance wouldn’t fall under this banner as it was always intended as “unbrand” and I’ve set the tone for that over the years. However, since we’re on the subject, my preferred verification mark for this would be 🖕

Which for those paying attention, was the original logo for this to begin with.

The OG logo

Regardless of whether or not any of this holds merit, stay metal 🤘

Writing

Guitarist Retrospective: 1998-2024

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So I’ve mentioned before that I got my 1st guitar at 12 years old in 1998. It was a Christmas gift and fantastic! Interestingly enough, my parents accidentally bought me a left handed guitar, not a right handed one. Since Jimi Hendrix was the biggest reason for learning, that didn’t deter me from trying to learn.

I ended up selling that guitar when we moved to New Hampshire, which is interesting, because it was originally purchased in New Hampshire. The internet was still in its infancy and there was no good resources around to learn anyway. Not like I could have started a band, as I come across so few people in my age range that know how to play any instrument, never mind the typical metal quartet of Drummer, Bassist, Rhythm Guitarist/Lead Guitarist.

Fast forward to 2004, I bought a nice guitar off eBay for about $80 dollars shipped. It was pink and goth style, but it looked so killer. I got to play around with some things here and there, like a wash pedal for the first time. I got tired of just being able to emulate certain things I had seen Rock Stars do, but not really understanding what I was doing. I wanted to really be a musician and not a hack that could chug and play the odd one finger power chords.

So I sold that guitar and picked up a $60 dollar acoustic guitar at the pawn shop and said “I’m becoming a musician”. 2008 would be a year that would drastically change my life for the better.

From 22 to 25 I played that thing non stop. Morning, noon, night. I didn’t care, I spent at least one hour a day learning.

Then like most people I hit the learning plateau that stops progress. So I took a short break from playing, so I could access the problem and find a way back to getting better.

Back then, you didn’t have all the fancy YouTuber’s you had now. You had Justinguitar.com and Marty had only just Started his YT channel. Basically you’re alone on this journey and for me, I would not have had it any other way. I mean, did Jimi have it easy? No, so why should I? I may not become a rock god, but I would become a musician. The latter is the most important part.

So the reason I write this is because I got offered a job interview at guitar center to teach guitar in Portland. I was the only one who applied, but due to conflicts with scheduling of bus routes, could not make it. Let’s be honest, it was a welfare gig from the start as most people learn online.

Hell, when I first started at 12, finding anyone to teach you was a pain in the ass, prior to the internet. My dad managed a band, locally and I could have asked there, but I didn’t want someone to take time to teach me, when it could service them better to make music. Regardless, like I posted above, I preferred the harder route, like many successful guitarist before me had walked.

So you know I would have probably been fired from Guitar Center before Christmas even showed up, unless they needed one more sales man, which I doubt. This isn’t to knock Guitar Center, rather understand the current climate we’re in and that local teaching isn’t exactly appropriate nowadays, since, as I said everything is driven by the internet.

Let look at the whose who of online guitarist

Justin Sandercroe

Marty Swartz

Music is win

Brandon

Rick Beato

And about a million in between all of those. The smart idea would be to build a curriculum on those people and branching out into certification for people who have passed their prerequisites in order to accommodate for people who cannot have access to these people personally like when they first started there channels as the volume, no pun intended, is probably a logistical nightmare.

My style for videos is very concise, too concise I would argue, as my entire series would probably only have about 10 videos total.

However, there is a list of things I noticed over the years that I wish I had known when I started playing in the first place.

  1. Anchor fingers is something I wish I had in the 90s. I might have become a decent player sooner. Look at Justinguitar for more one that. My favorite take away from his lessons.
  2. Music Theory. I never liked the name, as I’m a science guy and was an idiot who was like “if there is evidence for it, then it’s a theory.” As it seemed like the name was used informally. Since the guitar is over a century old, it should be music pragmatism. However, some understanding would be helpful. It helps creativity and doesn’t dash it.
  3. Finding a way to make analogies to the notes on your fretboard. This is a must in the beginning!
  4. Knowing what notes make up a chord. It be simpler to make chords on the fly than rote remembering them all. Also Don’t get bogged down in BS like the caged system.
  5. Tabs suck! If they work for you, all the power to ya. Learning by ear has been so much more beneficial to me than tabs ever have been. I only feel like my ear has recently become well developed and needs to be more attenuated . I have started, recently, learning Hendrix by ear and have made real progress. Something I would not have dared do in the early days of guitar playing.

That’s a small but very important list.

So, here is my structure for learning guitar since 2008.

Kirk Hammett

David Gilmore

Slash

Jimi Hendrix

The idea was to start at Metallica and learn what we could from Kirk. In this case, light solos, a decent pace to strive for and really good for developing your ear. I learned more Metallica accidentally than I ever did intentionally.

David Gilmore is the next logical step. Very long solos, use of whammy, learning when to slow down and when to speed up.

Slash is up next, as he is undoubtedly the hardest to play on this list, before Jimi. Dexterity and speed are very important here.

Once you learn from them, we would approach Jimi Hendrix, the man himself and this would be close to a Ph.D in music in my mind, for those learning on the outside of a musical theory course.

The point isn’t to be able to play all their songs perfectly, but rather develop the muscle memory to be able to play better. You can replace any guitarist on the list with your personal preference for players.

I’ll leave it here for now. Good luck with your own musical progress. Rock on!