Category Archives: Educational

Celebrity, Comedy, News, Satire, Wrestling, Writing

Corey Graves likes to get Pegged?

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graves

TOP DEFINITION
peggedsex
a man who recieved a strap on dildo in the ass from a woman
Jake was pegged from behind by Jane.
by Joe June 28, 2004

– https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=pegged

Now, I’m not saying Corey Graves likes to be pegged, but the subtext on this tweet is a little too good to pass up, even for me, to not post this. So, does WWE’s Graves like to take it up the ass or do you think it was two people engaging in juvenalia?

Movies, Review, Writing

Fashionably Late Movie Reviews: Friday The 13th 2009

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INTRODUCTION: I saw this movie in 2009 when it came out. I wasn’t hugely keen on remakes and especially not Platinum Dunes taking the lead and even though I tend to like Michael Bay flicks, which I know it isn’t hip, cool, edgy or intellectual of me, but you know what? Fuck the pretentious cucks that hate him. He has made some fun movies and Friday the 13th remake seemed like one for the ages. So how good is it after ten years?

PLOT: This makes retro Jason movies seem like they took good care to create plot.

CHARACTERS: Cliché Jason fodder, but that is pretty much the point. It takes a whole group of WB tv show rejects and gives them a movie. Personally, the douche leader is the most interesting, followed by the Stoners. Oh and the blonde girl the douche bangs, she really was stupendous, who was acting in that scene? No one!

ACTING: Surprisingly good from everyone but that one dude from Supernatural, who normally is a better actor, albeit, dry. Must not have been feeling it in 2009.

FX: It is Friday the 13th. Everything is practical and looks good.

LIGHTING: Retro, but works.

STYLE: Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2003. It works here, but the faux dated shit is old.

KILLS: Not the most over the top, but solid and cool.

TITS: Only that one blonde. The other woman need to sue their plastic surgeon for malpractice. I’d rather see real A cups than fake DD’s any day.

MUSIC: You couldn’t tell there was any, but Sister Christian, am I right?

SUBTEXT: STUPENDOUS!

CONCLUSION: I’m not really sure why this movie was made. I mean, it doesn’t even know what decade it is in. Retro Budwiser cans that are dated between 1970-2000 ish and retro 70s/80s clothing mashup. It looks like the 03 Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake, which sucked balls and this wasn’t much better. Even the lighting was very 70s in some scenes. How the fuck could you do a movie when you can’t even figure out what decade the original series is from? Still Jason runs and is super aggressive again, which was much needed and different from Kane Hodder’s and Friday the 13th needed that, very much. Derek Myers very much deserves one more flick, he was a fun Jason. The ending was a major let down, but it had some cool jump scares, but nothing new or original. If you just want something that is retro cool to drink and chill with, this is your flick and in that case, it is very good, but if you were expecting a really good movie, then find something else. This serves as nothing more than a kill count movie and sometimes, that is all it needs to be.

3 out of 5.

Review, Writing

Sympathy for the Devil: Review of Netflix’s Lucifer.

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INTRODUCTION: Lucifer has always been my favorite biblical character. He was so many things and the devil has always had the best domains that he oversaw from science to classical and hard rock music. He was absolutely the hero of the bible and the most interesting of them all. So a TV show that is based a DC “version” of the character that barley changes the original source material of the bible, well, it seems like a recipe for disaster, but with the right casting, potentially hopeful. So is this show worthwhile?

CHARACTERS: Well rounded, albeit a tad bit cliche. Over the current four seasons you really get to know the characters well and develop an attachment for them. I enjoy all the characters for the most part, albeit I’m here for Lucifer as much as the next person.

ACTING: Fantastic all around. It really seems like these guys and gals all enjoy working together and this is never more noticeable then season three when Tom “Smallville” Welling joins the cast and is supposed to be a sort of foil to Lucifer. Unlike when the rest of the actors engage, sometimes to the point where a scene looks like it almost became a blooper reel, the acting falls super flat when it turns to his character. It’s never seemed more awkward at all. The fact this is so easily discernible is a testament to the casting director with his choices. Never been more impressed at casting.

WRITING: Tad trite and formulaic. Still very good over all, albeit a tad lazy at times.

DIALOGUE: Fantastic. No big cringe moments.

STYLE: Late 90s/early 00’s cop show style. Its retro, but a much needed break from all the bleak looking shows on tv right now.

FX: Very surprising for a TV show. I expected worse and it is quite good.

MUSIC: Excellent soundtrack!

SUBTEXT: I think at its core, Lucifer is really about humanity. Lucifer may not seem it, but he is audience character. He may seem larger than life, but for being the devil, his choices are all too human and very relatable. Who hasn’t wanted revenge but had to thwart temptation?

CONCLUSION: This show is amazing, even though it is slightly formulaic and trite. I mean, season three was weakest when the whole thing is essentially a rip off of a major Buffy the Vampire Slayer storyline. If you’re a fan of that show, you’ll be familiar with the Angelus aspect. Still, it is nice to see it get a final season at least. Netflix did a good thing here and who knows, perhaps if season five goes over well, this will get another season. It one of the better shows I’ve seen in years and still adds some freshness to the tired old cop show clichés. Well worth giving a go!

4 out of 5.

Horror, Reviews, Writing

Heffalumps and Woozles: Netflix’s Dracula (2020)

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INTRODUCTION: I don’t think I need to remind my audience how much I love Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Here is the review on the novel for you. So naturally, I came across Netflix’s Dracula “series” and well, I’m perplexed as to who exactly greenlit this and why. It’s not really a series. 3 one hour and thirty minute episodes aren’t really a series. It could have been two six hour movies and it might have got somewhere. I do not like the liberties they took with the novel, but it isn’t all bad. So is it worth watching?

CHARACTERS: All of the original players are there with some new friends as well. Trigger warning for those who hate woke culture, one character from the book is gender swapped and the other is color swapped. The new characters are interesting, such as the Doctor from India. The other’s had some potential if given more screen time but ultimately, it doesn’t work. Harker is worse than in the novel, his fiancé Mina is all but forgotten about, the queer nun is very intriguing and Dracula is very fun mix of the old Hammer style with homages to other Dracula’s as well.

ACTING: Even the bit players are phenomenal. Dracula and Van Helsing are the only two really memorable performances, but the others are no slouches, you won’t come away from this like one would an 80’s slasher, with remembering how bad the bit actors are. All of them are excellent at what they do and deserve to be there with all the stars.

SFX: Pretty damn good! You can tell this was done on a very good budget, but slightly more money couldn’t have hurt.

TENSION: Virtually nonexistent. You get three jump scares and nothing more for “horror” in this, except for maybe some visuals, which isn’t enough to make you scared. It needed to be better.

DIALOGUE: Excellent! Nothing cringe worthy, unless you are a stickler for historical accuracy. Very excellent quotable in this as well, outside of the iconic lines from the novel.

CONCLUSION: So while I hate the fact they changed the source material to “freshen” this up and ultimately failed at that, they still kind of crafted a semi interesting “show”. It lacks suspense and intrigue, but makes up for some of it with homages to old shows and movies. Buffy the Vampire Slayer gets a reference in episode three with the way one vampire is dispensed. This is a movie that didn’t need to happen, but yet it did. It was as if the idea was born from a drunk watching of Dracula: dead and loving it and said “what if someone did that in a serious tone.” This is most noticeable when Renfeild, now Dracula’s lawyer, goes on about Vampire rights. The last part of season one takes place in the future, which sucks, because you’re introduced to all new characters whom are related to the old source characters and different from the first three hours of character development you got, so you don’t care for the resolution at all. It is as if they wrote themselves into a corner and didn’t know how to get out without such trite writing. Still, it has it has its moments and isn’t a complete let down. I don’t quite understand how they will take this to another season. Much like the Haunting of Hill House, it isn’t the worse thing, but it sure as hell is well below the mark.

3 out of 5 stars.

Movies, Review, Writing

Woke Before it was Cool Movie Reviews: 007 GoldenEye

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INTRODUCTION: It’s all the rage to bitch about Hollywood and its sudden “woke” culture that seems to be shoved down all the throats of the emasculated alt-lite. Annoying, efte men and the woman who love sleep with those guys male friends. So whenever I see a retro movie that was “woke” by today’s standards, I am going to do my best to make sure I review to see if it just these “men” or if there really is a problem. So here is our first flick, GoldenEye.

SYNOPSIS: A whole bunch of boomers wrote a movie, that is about the fear of the soviets intentionally beating us in the digital age. A movie that was dated in 1991, when the USSR fell. Oh and James Bond is back at it, beating villains like a mutha fucker!

CHARACTERS: All original characters are there but M is a woman now and Money Penny is younger. Clearly there was need for outrage, right? This is the only thing I found in a search and it’s written by, presumably, a woman named Janet.

DIALOGUE: Fantastic! But woke as fuck! I mean, M calling Bond a misogynistic dinosaur? How about Money Penny saying he was sexually harassing her,while enjoying it.

ACTION:Hokey as fuck! I mean, the cold opener doesn’t seem to understand the concept of 3 minutes. The whole thing clocks 10 minutes. It’s almost like a parody of the old Bond flicks, masquerading with the name. What was the point of Austin Powers then?

VISUALS: Dark, but very, very good looking. Some of the
best looking of he series.

SUBTEXT: OK BOOMER!

CONCLUSION: These woke movies are nothing new, but few complained back in the 1990’s, in fact, quite the opposite and while this movie isn’t nearly as good as it was in 1995, it is still a solid, albeit a slightly intelligence insulting flick. It has no good grasp on anything, from Tech to Russia. It’s only real finger on the pulse happens to be its awkward and woke moments. It is a very OkBoomer movie, but still enjoyable and it created an amazing game.

4 out of 5.

Kagemas, Reviews, Writing

Kagemas:Jack Frost Movie Review

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INTRODUCTION: Jack Frost, a movie I saw years too late and watched again recently. Not to be confused with that heart felt movie that with Michael Keaton, where the father comes back as a snowman, after he dies, produced around the same time. This one is a horror comedy with a young Shannon Elizabeth. It is quite interesting and very 90s.

SYNOPSIS: A killer, being transported to his execution, ends up in an accident. Unbeknownst to anyone, it is also transporting a top secret government science project that turns the killer into a snowman.

CHARACTERS: Well, it seems like a tight nit community and the characters are developed ok. I wouldn’t say you care about them, but it is done well enough to make you think this is real.

ACTING: Better than a Hallmark movie, worse than a good movie, but very passable.

MUSIC: Works, but nothing to write home about.

FX: Dated, but they would have been decent in their time. It works, I mean, it’s about a killer snowman, don’t overthink this.

SUBTEXT: Honestly, I think this has some, but it is weak. It’s about community, family and coming together in a way a lot of cheesy, hallmark rom-coms cannot even pull off.

CONCLUSION: This is a fun movie, but doesn’t really go far enough. It lacks the old school suspense of things like Halloween or Friday the 13, but is still enjoyable to watch. It has all the makings of a cult classic and is an excellent change of pace compared to other horror in its time. It wasn’t ever going to be an amazing flick, but for fucks sakes, it has a Snowman rape scene that is pretty brutal and hilarious at the same time and if that isn’t enough to sell you on at least seeing this one time, I don’t know what will, because it rarely gets more fucked up than that. Watch it for Christmas, because it is a lot less corny in comparison to everything else on television.

2 ½ out of 5